


Crushed

by diavolo



Series: seventeen as non-cis characters [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Androgyny, But just to fill spaces, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Genderfluid!Wonwoo, Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Other idols may be used, Polyamory, Racism, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Toxic Relationship, Trans!The8, Underage Drug Use, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking, trans!jeonghan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-18 05:36:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 27
Words: 56,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11284764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diavolo/pseuds/diavolo
Summary: Somehow life manages to get you close with people that are similar to you...How bad can that be?If they are as crushed as you are... maybe you can help each other to get your pieces together, right?p a u s e d





	1. a little hope

“Xu, someone is looking for you”

“Looking for me?”

“Yeah, table number nine, next to the window”

“Ok, thanks” Minghao smiled at her co worker and stood up from the chair she had been sitting on for the past ten minutes, there were not many clients at that hour of the day so her shift was kind of boring. She walked out of the kitchen and headed towards the hall, smiling whenever a client looked at her. 

“Hey… you look gorgeous” A man sitting straight in his chair smiled at her as soon as he saw her, widely, genuinely happy.

“What are you doing here, Mingyu?” Minghao rolled her eyes and crossed her arms at her chest height, waiting for a response. A good one.

“I wanted to see you… Babe, I know you are mad at me now but please, please, I miss you so much” Mingyu looked around and reached her left hand, dragging her closer to him. “I miss you” He said again.

“You can't come here while I am working, Mingyu, you know it” She tried to resist it, looking away, anywhere else but his face.

“I am a client, of course I can come here” He said, smiling, still holding her hand.

“Then what are you going to order?” Minghao finally looked at him, taking a deep breathe. That was it, she was going to forgive him.

“I want you to sit down and talk with me, you are mad right now but I love you and I can make things better if you let me” Mingyu caressed Minghao’s hand gently as he said that.

 

After a couple of minutes thinking about it Minghao finally sat in front of him without saying anything, but smiling, because God… how she loved this man. She didn't even cared he was thirty years old while she was only eighteen, or that he sometimes was an idiot, or that he was actually married. 

 

 

 

“So? How did everything went?”

“You know I can’t resist him… Besides, he really looked like he is sorry” Minghao shrugged, she was smiling, arranging her long silver hair into a high ponytail, letting the curly tips of it rest at her left shoulder.

“I just hope this is the last time he fucks everything up” Seungcheol shrugged, rolling his eyes, he couldn't hide the disappointment in his eyes. He cared for her, they were friends, so better than no other he knew how things were in Minghao's relationship.

“How is your boyfriend? Is he feeling better? You told me yesterday that he was not feeling well” Minghao changed the topic quickly, she knew that Seungcheol cared but she didn't wanted him to be upset. Not when things were finally okay between she and her boyfriend.

“I don't know, Jeonghan hasn't answered to my morning messages, I hope she is resting at home, yesterday she couldn't stop throwing up” Seungcheol let a sigh escape his lips and he turned to see Minghao after she didn't said anything to his explanations. She was frowning. “I hope he is resting at home, he couldn't stop throwing up yesterday” He corrected himself, still looking at his friend.

“Is not that difficult, is it?” Minghao raised and eyebrow and shook her head.

“I am still getting used to, okay? I'm sorry, it's not only hard for him, it's hard for me too” 

“It's three times harder for him, Cheol, I bet” 

“I'm sorry, seriously, it was not my intention”

“You should visit him, it will make him feel better, plus it's been like a week since you last saw him, right?” 

“Right, he had projects to finish and I agreed with Sejeong to cover her shifts so we didn't had any time”

“It will definitely make him feel better”

 

 

\-----

 

 

 

“I can't understand why didn't you stayed at home resting if you are not feeling well, Jeonghan, do you want to die in here?” 

“I don't want to lose the pace, I don't want to fail any other subject again, Jun” Jeonghan complained in a low voice, he looked pale and was wearing a navy blue hoodie… even when outside the sun was burning hot. At least in there the air conditioner allowed him to use it without sweating.

“Did you eat anything this morning?” Jun was sure his friend didn't, and when Jeonghan only shrugged as a response he shook his head on disappointment. “When lunchtime arrives I want you to eat your food, are you listening to me, Yoon Jeonghan?” Jun looked serious about it.

“Yes, Jun… You should adopt me, you care more than my mother” Jeonghan complained, trying to pay attention to the class.

“Your mom cares about you, dumb” Joshua, sitting in the chair behind Jeonghan said, reaching his friend's long hair and pulling softly, just to tease him.

“She doesn't, she is too busy with her perfect daughter” Jeonghan answered, dryly.

“Don't act as if you didn't liked her, come on” Joshua pulled his hair again, a bit harder, as a way to scold him.

“Be careful, dumbass” Jeonghan raised his voice and the teacher stopped talking.

“Is there anything wrong, Miss Yoon?” she asked, furrowing, clearly annoyed with the interruption.

 

Jeonghan took a deep breath and then shook his head in response. He was too tired to deal with his stupid teacher.

 

\-----

 

 

Lunchtime was a hard time for Seungkwan. He moved to the city just two months ago from Jeju, as a result of his father work.  
He was not adapting well, he didn't had any friends and unfortunately he was targeted as soon as he arrived by his classroom’s bullies; they quickly managed to find out his sexual preferences so it earned him some ridiculous nicknames, punches here and there, his schoolbag disappearing every week or so… 

 

Seungkwan took a deep breath, it was quite obvious for him what was going to happen now. He wandered out of the cafeteria to the school's rooftop, trying to avoid his bullies, but he was not lucky enough… they followed him. Now he was surrounded by them, staring at the floor as they called him names. 

One of them was about to punch him when a voice interrupted.

 

“Well, look at this bunch of losers trying to be cool” Jun raised his voice as he entered through the door, looking at the show that was going on there. 

“Get lost, do you want me to punch you instead of him?”

“Oh, Hansol, you are very threatening when you are surrounded by your stupid friends…” Wonwoo raised his voice, stepping next to Jun.

“Should I remind you how you begged me a couple of days ago not to beat your ass?” Jun crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, looking at the said guy with a straight face.

“Come on, guys, just let's just leave… later we will give this pussy what he deserves” Hansol pushed Seungkwan against the wall and just turned around to start walking to the door, followed by his three friends. 

“Idiot” Jeonghan looked as they left, and closed the door behind him. “Are you okay?” He quickly approached Seungkwan and looked at him, worried.

“I'm fine… thank you very much” Seungkwan bowed and quickly took his lunch, eager to leave, feeling absolutely dumb and embarrassed.

“Hey, are you late to somewhere else?” Seokmin took him by the wrist gently to stop him and then smiled. “You can stay with us”

“But you… are older students” He stated, confused as why they would like to be around a loser like him in their lunch time.

“He called us old” Wonwoo reached his chest over his school shirt and grabbed it with his hand over the area where his heart was, acting hurt. 

“That was not what I meant!” Seungkwan quickly shook his head, panicking.

“We are just kidding, boy. Sit down, let's eat lunch” Jihoon, shook his head also, punching Wonwoo in the arm for him to stop his drama and Joshua laughed at them.

 

That was the first time since he arrived, that Seungkwan didn't felt so lonely. Or at least, not as lonely as always… this curious group of people seemed nice.

At least a lot nicer than his classmates, who just made fun of him.  
He just hoped that Hansol and his friends didn't look for him angrier than any other after they protected him.

 

His hopes were soon gonna be crushed.


	2. sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illness is not just physicall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, they will all appear at their times, I know it may seem that the story is based just on one or two characters but is not, it's not their time yet.
> 
> Also this chapter contains religious points of view that may differ from yours.

Jeonghan and Joshua were walking together to their houses after school, as they always did since they were neighbours. They were also very close friends since Joshua moved there a couple of years ago, in their elementary school days. As they approached Jeonghan's house, both of them noticed someone was waiting on the boy's front door. 

 

“Seungcheol” Jeonghan looked at his boyfriend and tried his best to smile. 

“I'll see you tomorrow” Joshua turned to see his friend and they shared a tight hug that only lasted a few seconds. “See you later, Seungcheol” He waved at the latter and smiled, crossing the street to go to his house, right in front of Jeonghan's house. The blue one.

“Hey babe…” Seungcheol smiled at his boyfriend and then stood up from the entrance, ready to hug his boyfriend. “Are you feeling better? I brought you this” He separated a bit just to give him a tiny purple flower he collected on his way there; without saying anything he managed to put it on Jeonghan’s hair, it stood out surrounded by that shiny brownish long hair. 

“Thank you” Jeonghan smiled and then hugged Seungcheol again, tight, as tight as he hugged Joshua before. “I'm still feeling sick” he added, hidding his face of his boyfriend's chest. 

“You are using a hoodie, babe, I don't know how you managed to arrive home without fainting in this burning heat” Seungcheol laughed a bit, caressing Jeonghan's back gently with both hands. 

“I am cold” Jeonghan simply answered, shrugging. “Let's go inside, but you know the rules, you can stay only an hour before they arrive” 

Both of them walked inside the house and locked the front door. It was still early, Jeonghan's mother left her work at 4 and then she picked her sister at school, his step-father left his work at 5 but he sometimes arrived earlier. It was still 2, so they had until 3:30. It was something. 

Jeonghan left his schoolbag near the stairs and then sat on the couch next to his boyfriend, between his arms, resting his face on Seungcheol's shoulder. 

 

“Take the sweater off, babe” Seungcheol told him in a whisper, filling his boyfriend's forehead with kisses, squeezing him gently. 

“I am cold” Jeonghan repeated, closing his eyes. He hugged his boyfriend a bit stronger, he wanted him as closer as he could… and then he started to cry. 

“Baby… are you feeling worse? I can take you to the hospital” Seungcheol offered worried, trying to break the hug to see Jeonghan’s face but the latter didn't wanted to be break it.

“Please, just hug me. I don't feel okay but I just need you to hug me… just do it, please” He was practically begging it while crying, hiding his face and shivering. 

“I will… But I am worried about you” Seungcheol talked in a soft voice, kissing the younger’s head. “I don't want you to be sick, you are already very thin, sweetheart, what did the doctor said?” He asked.

“I didn't went to the doctor yet” Jeonghan confessed, trying to calm himself, but he couldn't. “I just…” He lifted his head to look at his boyfriend. “I… I….” He bit his lower lip and again hid his face in his boyfriend's chest. 

“It's okay… I know it's hard…” Seungcheol said, remembering Minghao's words earlier that day. He let out a deep sigh and hugged him. “I love you, we will find a way to make it better, we are together in this” He said, closing his eyes, trying to calm his boy. 

Jeonghan was so tiny, so thin and delicate, so beautiful, so… precious to him. The day he saw him for the first time, entering the restaurant where he still worked until these days, with his friends, using a beautiful red dress he was sure now Jeonghan didn't liked… he just fell for him. It was impossible not to, he needed that angelic smile brightening his days for the rest of his life. He was only seventeen then, but he was sure that he wanted Jeonghan for the rest of his life.

When he managed to get his number and started knowing about him, right there he knew he wasn't wrong at all. He was everything he needed. A whole year passed and only a couple of months ago Jeonghan told him that ‘she' wasn't exactly ‘she'. 

He didn't felt like a girl, he was sure. No matter how hard he tried to be one he couldn't, and sure he tried a lot for many years, in an attempt of being ‘normal’. He wasn't going to try to be a girl now, but things were not easy since his mother only took it as a "teenager thing'. Jeonghan's mother constantly neglected him and his step-father was an idiot.  
They continuously called him by girly nicknames on purpose and when Jeonghan got mad they grounded him, they constantly fought and it was an unhealthy environment overall. In addition Jeonghan was very sick lately, always throwing up, always looking pale, always wearing hoodies and always crying. Of course he was worried.

Even if Jeonghan's confession made him feel extremely uncomfortable at the beginning… he loved him. Even if he first fell for Jeonghan as a ‘girl', he loved Jeonghan as a person, for who he was more than the gender he was. He cared for him, he was protective and jealous, he wanted to be with him… plus there wasn't exactly something he could do to change his boyfriend's identity, it was none of his business. So Seungcheol was trying. He was really trying. 

 

“I don't want to live here anymore” Jeonghan sobbed, trying to stop but he couldn't. 

“I know baby” Seungcheol patted his boyfriend's back gently and then took him by his chin, stealing a little kiss from his lips. “Just wait a bit more, until I can bring you with me. I am working hard to have you with me”

“I am tired, I am so tired” Jeonghan looked Seungcheol in the eyes, not able to stop crying. 

“Try to sleep, okay? I will be here with you, nothing bad is going to happen” 

Jeonghan nodded, resting his head on Seungcheol's lap, curling up until his knees almost touched his chest. He closed his eyes and sighed, still crying but sure that he could sleep the rest of the time they had together because his boyfriend was going to take care of him.

 

 

\------

 

 

“The boyfriend is again at the house without the parents present”

“Mom, you know Jeonghan is good, nothing is going to happen between them. They are respectful and know having anything before marriage is a sin” Joshua rolled his eyes just because he wasn't facing his mom. 

“But it isn't safe that an adult is not around, temptation is the most difficult thing to avoid” The woman continued, still not convinced.

“Are you going to tell Jeonghan's parents then?” Joshua turned to see his mother and raised an eyebrow. Challenging, not an usual behaviour on him, at least not with his parents.

“Of course not, but it worries me. Jeonghan is a beautiful young lady and I don't want her to be in troubles… You should invite her to church this Sunday, that can be a good way to remind her she must wait until marriage to make any kind of intimacy with her boyfriend”

“I will tell Jeonghan, mom” Joshua said, nodding. 

“Excellent, now get ready, we need to eat and later before you do anything else we have bible studying” The woman reminded his son about it and smiled. 

“I am eager to study the bible, mom” Joshua faked a big smile and then proceeded to go upstairs, where he could complain and groan until he was done. 

 

Joshua loved God, he firmly believed but he didn't liked religion. His parents were extremely conservative, extremely religious and extremely just everything. They continuously talked about how his friends were bad influences, how he needed to be a man of faith and how he needed to put more effort into learning his life as the bible said.

But he didn't wanted that.

He wanted to have his faith but also, he wanted to just live his life freely, to his please. In his opinion religious had too many cons, too many prejudice and not so many inclusive stuff, ‘loving your fellow man’, was limited to only a couple of them. He didn't liked it. 

He liked to pray and he did it every day, he wanted to think he was close to God because he wholeheartedly love him and not because he went to church every Sunday with a bunch of other people who were ‘eating saints and shitting demons’, as he liked to call people who went to church but judged others or talked about others, or were just simply not as kind as they wanted to appear to be. 

He wanted to think God loved him even though he was open minded to many things that were not okay to his religion. Like liking or loving someone of your same gender. Mainly that. Because he did it, Joshua liked people overall, he didn't minded what they were but he was quiet about it.

He also loved his parents more than anything, but they made three hundred times more difficult everything. They didn't liked the music he listened to, they didn't liked the way he dressed… and it was hard being a teenager and having strict catholic parents, it was hard. But he was trying.

 

\-------

 

 

“Next time I will take you to the check up” Mingyu parked the car outside Minghao's apartment building and looked at her. “Tell me when it is and I will go with you, I want to be there”

“It's not necessary, everything is going fine” The tall girl shrugged. “The doctor said hormones are doing its job, but I need to take them in time” She explained. 

“If you need money to buy them tell me, Hao, I will give you money to pay for them, you need them” Mingyu took his girlfriend's hands between his own hands and gently rubbed them, leaning to kiss the back of the right hand. 

“I work to pay for my medication, Mingyu” Minghao took a deep breath and shook her head.

“Look, I know you want me to notice you are not with me because of money but I already know that, my princess” He smiled, cupping her left cheek with his right hand. “I want to help you, if they are too expensive I will pay for them, you need them and I want you to be okay, this is a matter that concern us both”

“What if your wife finds out? Isn't she going to ask where's the money going?” Minghao raised one eyebrow, but she was just trying to resist to that offer, she in fact, didn't wanted to look like she was with the man because of his money. 

“I am the one working all day to earn that money, she can go to hell” Mingyu simply answered, shrugging. “It's none of her business what I do with my money”

“She is your wife, Gyu… it makes me feel bad” Minghao looked away, she was being serious. Knowing that his boyfriend shared the house with that woman was an idea that she learned to live with, but she never got used to it, she sometimes felt bad for basically ruining a marriage. 

“Don't feel bad for her, we don't even sleep together, we are going to divorce soon so don't put attention to it” He said dryly, rolling his eyes. “Don't be sad, my queen, smile. I love you” 

Minghao smiled at the pet name and nodded. Mingyu was going to divorce. He had told her earlier that day when he went to her workplace to talk, he was really going to divorce his wife, finally. Maybe someday she will be the wife, a good one, she was going to take care of his man real good. 

“Come here, baby” Minghao called her boyfriend and when he got closer she kissed him on the lips a couple of times, smiling widely. How lucky she was to have a man like thay by her side.

 

\------

 

 

“Do you think Jeonghan is actually sick?” Wonwoo turned his head to look at Jun, both of them were laying on the latter's bed, resting after arriving from school.

“It depends” Jun shrugged, looking at Wonwoo intently. “Jeonghan is sick about many things but if you mean… sick as from a virus or anything like that, no, I don't think so” 

“I wish he was more open to us with those things” Wonwoo said in a really low voice, turning to hug Jun.

“He will speak but you have to give him time, we can only take care of him until he starts to feel better enough to talk about it” Jun combed Wonwoo's short hair with his fingers, he was worried too but he couldn't force his friend to speak about his worries. 

“I know…” Wonwoo nodded still looking at Jun and sighed. “If you do that I am going to fall asleep”

“Then do it, you look cute when you sleep” Jun smiled, still caressing that short hair gently with his fingers.

“I know, I am the cutest thing alive, how can you even resist your impulse of kissing me?” Wonwoo raised and eyebrow and then just smiled.

 

Jun didn't said anything, he just leaned to kiss Wonwoo's lips gently. Then both of them laughed about it, but they shared a couple of small pecks more. 

 

Maybe a relationship between friends wasn't really a good idea but… they weren't exactly dating. Yet.  
They just liked to cuddle and kiss sometimes, it wasn't going to harm anybody. 

 

 

\------

 

 

 

Seungkwan was entering to the classroom when someone punched him in his right arm, making him stop to quickly put a hand over the affected area. He turned to see who did that and immediately knew he was going to have a terrible day. No one was there yet, he was totally helpless against him. 

 

“Too bad your friends aren't in the same class to protect you, pussy” Hansol pushed him against the window and smirked. 

Seungkwan's face turned into a complete expression of horror and shook his head quickly, starting to beg Hansol to leave him alone.

“This is for you to know you can run but you can't hide from me” Hansol punched him a couple of times in the stomach and then left Seungkwan to fall to the floor, crying in pain. “I bet it didn't hurt, you are too fat your enormous belly giggles and absorbs the impact” he laughed and then just exit the classroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much to all the people who left kudos and comments, also to the ones who bookmarked this, i love y'all❤❤
> 
> I am writing another story called nasty so if you have any chance please read it, it's plain fluff if you are looking for it. 
> 
> I am always eager to read your comments so don't even hesitate to leave them this a free country please express yourself omg please please ❤❤


	3. acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody lies. Whether they lie to themselves or to others, it doesn't matter since it's lying anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter triggers something really big, brace yourselves because this is a rollercoster.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, can you believe I have the biggest crush on Jeon Wonwoo? Good God is he even real?

Jun still remembers how things went when he told his parents he liked boys and girls. He was around ten years and it was before he went to school on a Tuesday morning, as they ate breakfast.  
The three of them were sitting, talking about something not really important when he just said it out loud. It made feel bad because he knew it perfectly but he felt like he was holding a secret against his parents and that was slowly eating him from the inside. 

Liking someone was not a bad thing, he didn't felt like a weirdo, he didn't felt like a freak, he wasn't exactly worried about how others would react to his preferences… but he was terrified about his parent's reaction, because they were the only ones who could made him feel that it was wrong if they didn't accepted him.  
Because if his parents didn't accepted him he was going to be alone. 

 

They exchanged looks between them and him and after a couple of minutes in silence his father got up from his seat to walk to him. He patted his head and ask if he was sure about it, if it was what he wanted for his life.  
Jun nodded. His mother also got up from her sit and walked towards him, smiling.

That day he didn't went to school, he skipped classes to go eat ice cream with his parents and they bought him a new toy. They told him that if he was sure about it, they couldn't do anything more than support him and understand him. 

 

He was now sixteen and he couldn't understand yet why others would pick on someone because of their sexual preferences. Or their choices in life no matter what they were. He was never afraid about being himself because his parents always backed him up and any time during his childhood that someone would come up to him wanting to make fun of him because he liked both boys and girls… he naturally just punched them right in the face with no regrets.  
He knew how to fight and he wouldn't hesitate even though he wasn't a huge fan of doing it.

 

“I'm okay” Seungkwan only smiled at them, trying to hide the fact that he was about to cry again. Jun could see the sadness in his eyes.

“You want me to break his fucking arms?” Jun asked with a blank face, serious about it.

“No, please don't do that” Seungkwan shook his head. “It's okay, really”.

“That’s a pretty bad crush, you know?” Wonwoo tilted his head looking at Seungkwan and the rest of them did exactly the same, shocked.

“You must be kidding me” Jihoon crossed his arms, clearly mad about the situation. “That retard clearly punched you too hard in the head if you like him”.

“I think that's why he hates me so much” Seungkwan said in a really low voice, ashamed, even sadder than before.

“Hansol is so desperate to fit in with the cool kids of his class that he would literally eat flies if they asked him to do it, I don't think he hates you, he picks on you because is his only way to be relevant around those idiots, plus I don't think he is smart enough to notice anything about you liking him” Jeonghan finally talked after being quiet the entire morning. He opened his eyes and didn't move his head that was resting on Joshua's shoulder. They were hugging, Jeonghan was wearing a red hoodie that probably was from his boyfriend since it was too big for him. 

“Are your parents aware you have a school bully?” Jun asked, his cat-eye gaze focused in Seungkwan. 

“No, of course not. I don't want them to come here and make things bigger” Seungkwan shook his head, letting out a deep sigh.

“What do you want us to do about it?” Seokmin turned his head from his lunch to look at the younger of them. “You need to send a sign, it's either break his arms to make them back off or letting them beat you up until they get tired” he raised an eyebrow, waiting for a response.

“Seokmin is right, kid, you need to choose. Man up or just live with it” Soonyoung stopped eating his lunch to say that.

“We can be very creative” Jihoon looked at Jun and smiled, then he looked at Seungkwan, raising both eyebrows.

“But I don't want you to get into trouble…” Seungkwan covered his face with both hands and sighed. 

“You still have the entire day to think about it. We don't usually get into troubles, but as Jihoon said… we can get very creative, it doesn't even has to be something physicall” Joshua softly shrugged, he didn't wanted to annoy Jeonghan.

“Okay” Seungkwan nodded. “I'll think about it” 

“Aren't you going to eat your lunch?” Wonwoo asked, looking at the bag on the table, Seungkwan didn't even touched it.

“I'm not hungry” Seungkwan just shrugged.

 

 

\-----

 

 

 

Classes were lame and absolutely boring. Wonwoo couldn't help his mind was now wandering around as he drew some doodles on his notebook cover. After two entire minutes drawing a flower, which by the way was awful since he was not skilled at it, he lifted his gaze and turned his head to the right. A smile appeared in his face. Joshua was staring at him.

Joshua smiled too and then proceeded to look at the board, where some equations were being solved by the teacher. His cell phone started to vibrate in his bag and he quickly reached it to see what was going on.

 

1 new message.  
Wonwoo was asking him if he wanted to come to his house after school. 

He turned to see his friend and shook his head. He wanted to go but his mom wouldn't accept it just like that if he didn't asked for permission before. Plus he didn't wanted Jeonghan to walk home alone, what if he fainted under the sun with that ridiculous hoodie he was wearing. 

Joshua sighed. He couldn't blame Jeonghan for that, to be honest, he could only took care of him.

Wonwoo pouted and then shoot him with his finger gun. “It's okay” He whispered. “But wait for me, I'll go with you to your house” he added later, wiggling both eyebrows. 

Joshua nodded, smiling lightly. Some company wouldn't be bad at all, maybe their way home was going to be more relaxed today. 

 

 

 

“Don't forget to bring an answer tomorrow kid” Jihoon patted Seungkwan's arm softly, as he passed by, ready to fucking leave school for that day. He was so done. 

“Walk home safely” Seungkwan said, barely giving them a smile. He felt so bad, he wanted to be home already. 

“You walk home safely, huh?” Jun gave him a serious look and then patted his head gently. “You have our numbers if you need anything, you are one of us now, we are just skipping the rite of passage until we get some time”.

Soonyoung laughed. “Yeah, because we still need some time to digest what happened when we did the rite to welcome Seokmin”, he covered his mouth with one of his hands and laughed again.

“Hey, I am still traumatized” Seokmin shoved Soonyoung's shoulder, but laughed.

Seungkwan was curious about them, they were so nice with him. He smiled, wholeheartedly this time, and nodded his head. “I am willing to see what kind of rite is”.

“You are going to regret it” Wonwoo seemed serious but then laughed, shrugging. “We tend to get creative” 

“I am hearing that a lot, should I run now that I have a chance?” Seungkwan asked, avoiding to laugh but still smiling.

“Nah, it's too late now, Jeonghan already bit your shoulder, you are already making your transformation” Joshua shook his head and laughed when his friend smacked his arm. 

“See you tomorrow, kid” Soonyoung waved at him, as they arrived to the bus stop, he, Jihoon and Seokmin took the bus, they lived near to each other. 

“We'll see you tomorrow” Jun again patted Seungkwan's head gently and then shrugged, turning to kiss Wonwoo's and Joshua's forehead and Jeonghan's head. Then he started to walk, his house was near the school.

Seungkwan couldn't help but think how Jun looked extremely protective over his friends, even with him that was new to them. He looked like a bad boy but he was caring… that was nice.

 

Seungkwan waved at the three remaining boys and then started walking in the other direction, he too lived fairly close and despite always taking the bus, this time he wanted to walk. 

Three entire blocks had passed and then, as he was about to take a turn to the last two blocks to his house, he saw Hansol standing right in the corner of the street. His arms were crossed at the height of his chest.

“Fuck” Seungkwan's stomach sank, he wanted to throw up. His heart was beating fast, it was a terrible combination.

 

Even before he could think about doing anything Hansol was already taking him by his left wrist, pulling him to a blind alley near them. Seungkwan was already preparing himself mentally to the beating he was about to receive.

Hansol pushed him against the wall and took him by his shirt’s collar with both hands.

 

“Please Hansol, please” Seungkwan started begging, frightened.

“Shut up” And after saying that he kissed Seungkwan in the lips roughly.

He was not expecting that.

 

 

\------

 

 

“Are you taking medicine, baby?” Wonwoo tangled his fingers with Jeonhan’s, asking that as the three of them walked in a slow pace. 

“No, mom's husband says I'm faking it so I can skip school” Jeonghan answered, holding Wonwoo's hand tight. “But hey, I'm feeling better now, maybe in a couple of days more I'll be completely recovered” he tried to smile.

“You know you can come to my house and stay there, right?” Wonwoo pulled Jeonghan's hand to kiss the back of it. “What does Seungcheol said?” 

“Thank you, baby, I know it, you are such a prince charming, huh?” Jeonghan wholeheartedly smiled at his friend's words and then shrugged. “He didn't said much, basically he wanted to take me to the hospital but I told him it was not necessary” 

“I told him to go but I think if Jeonghan says is really nothing then it must be like a cold or something as light as it” Joshua quickly said, he was silent the whole time, just letting the two other talk. His fingers were also tangled to Jeonghan's.

“I guess, but still my invitation is open, if you want to stay at my house you can” Wonwoo repeated. “Seungcheol is a nice guy, he loves you too much” 

“I know, I love him too” Jeonghan smiled but it didn't lasted, his gaze lowered to the ground.

“Speaking of” Joshua stopped at the front of Jeonghan's house, Seungcheol was there, waiting.

“Aww, I was having a good time” Wonwoo complained, letting Jeonghan’s hand go, smiling. “Take care, okay?” He looked at Jeonghan and hugged him, kissing his head gently. 

Joshua hugged Jeonghan tight and then smiled at Seungcheol. The older waved at his boyfriend's friends and whispered a “thank you” for walking him home. Even though they did get along together, his boyfriend's friends always gave them space; he was thankful, he knew that when he wasn't around his boyfriend had really good people who took care of him.

 

The couple entered the younger’s house in silent and closed the door behind them.

“I missed you” Seungcheol said smiling, hugging Jeonghan tightly.

“I missed you too” Jeonghan closed his eyes and sighed, hugging his boyfriend back. “How was your day at work?”

“It was okay, but I am better now that I got to see you” Seungcheol confessed, cupping his boyfriend's face with both hands. “Can I kiss you?” He asked.

“Of course you can” Jeonghan smiled at him and closed his eyes, focusing in kissing his boyfriend softly and slowly. He was needing it, he missed his lips so much. 

 

They both ended in the couch, talking and kissing casually, but the last kiss they shared definitely left Seungcheol wanting a little more. He made Jeonghan to lay on the couch as they kissed and caressed his sides in an extremely gentle way. When was the last time they had sex? He was asking that to himself as the tried to take off the hoodie Jeonghan was wearing.

The younger was struggling with keeping the hoodie on but he finally gave up. He took broke the kiss and bit his lower lip.  
Seungcheol threw the goddamn hoodie to the floor and then he pulled his boyfriend's t-shirt up to take it too, but as soon as he did that his stomach and his heart sank.

 

Jeonghan was shivering and he was clearly trying not to cry.

Seungcheol took the t-shirt off and then he took a better look of it. There were a lot of hickeys and bruises in the younger's chest, in his collarbones, at the base of his neck, between his breasts and on them. 

 

“That's why you use those stupid hoodies… you are cheating on me” Seungcheol's eyes were watering. His heart was breaking in a million of pieces.

Jeonghan was crying uncontrollably, trying to reach the hoodie to get dressed again. Seungcheol looked at him and made a disgusted face. He stood up from the couch and left the house without saying anything else, shivering in rage, crying.

Jeonghan was cheating on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM THIRSTY TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS. LET ME KNOW, LET'S SCREAM TOGETHER.
> 
> Just kidding let's not scream, but I do want to know what you think. Thank you very much for reading, bookmarking, leaving kudos and commenting. I love y'all too much. ❤


	4. CHAPTER IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan doesn't want Jun to break Hansol's arms. Wonwoo wears something shocking. Jeonghan is still sad. Somethings is revealed and Joshua and Seungcheol think the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe I wrote this while I dyed my hair rose quartz because I am such a seventeen trash? Because I did it. 
> 
> Thank you so very much for all your messages, your kudos, your bookmarks, your hits, I am too soft because of y'all.

"I'm leaving!" Minghao raised her voice as she took her keys, ready to go. She needed to work that day but fortunately she had the next day free, finally, the week felt extremely large for some reason. 

"Have a good day, princess" His father immediately approached her to give her a tight hug. "I love you, remember to call me when you finish your shift, I can pick you up" the man smiled at is daughter. 

"It's not necessary dad, you know sometimes Seungcheol walks me to the bus stop" Minghao shook her head. "And I don't really want you to leave the house once you arrive from work, you need to rest too" 

"Then just call me, okay?" The man hugged his daughter again and then waved at her as she left the house. 

 

Minghao walked to the stairs until someone grabbed her by the arm, pulling it softly. 

 

"Oh god, I almost had a heart attack" She took a deep breath and shook her head, smacking softly his friend's arm. "If you do that again I am going to push you from the top of the stairs, Jackson" 

"I love when you say sweet things, Hao" The guy, Jackson, smiled widely, walking by his side. He was slightly more tall than Minghao, but just for a couple of centimeters; they both were neighbors in the apartment building they lived and knew each other since a couple of years ago, when Jackson arrived there from Hong Kong. Almost immediately he fell for Minghao, she was the prettiest girl he ever saw in his life. 

Minghao laughed, covering her mouth with her left hand. "Silly. Are you going to work on this beautiful Saturday?" She asked, walking slightly slower. Jackson was only a couple of years older than her, but they were good friends. 

"Yes, I have to work today, I could perfectly spend the day looking at your precious face but I have to make money" Jackson laughed, shrugging. "Do you want me to take you to your workplace? It's not near from mine but I would love to spend twenty minutes listening to everything you want to tell me" 

"Okay then..." The girl shrugged shyly, Jackson was always so open with the feelings he had for her, he didn't minded plus it was very obvious. 

 

Both of them walked to the parking lot and as Minghao was about to enter Jackson's car she heard someone calling her name. She turned her head and saw Mingyu, he was standing next to his car, his arms crossed at the height of his chest, eyebrows furrowed. He was clearly mad.   
Jackson sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. 

 

"Thank you, seems like I have a ride already" Minghao bowed awkwardly and smiled shyly. "I'll see you at night, okay? Maybe you can come home to eat dinner with dad and me" 

"Okay, see you then" Jackson nodded but before Mighao ran to her boyfriend's car he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her to kiss her cheek. "Take care" He whispered to her ear and then he let her go with that idiot. 

 

"I don't like that stupid kid" Mingyu said as soon as both of them were inside the car, doors closed. 

"He is my friend, Gyu..." Minghao was tired of hearing this for probably the thousandth time. She ran her long finger through her silver hair, trying to focus on something else more than her boyfriend's complains. 

"But he wants to fuck you, it's so obvious" Mingyu squeezed the steering wheel with both hands, obviously angry by the situation, that fucking kid needed to back off if he didn't wanted to end up with a couple of broken ribs. 

"So what?" Minghao crossed her arms, lifting one of her eyebrows. "I am pretty, isn't it obvious that I'm going to have other boys wanting to date me?" She turned her head to look through the window, she didn't wanted to fight. 

"But you are mine, you are dating me, aren't you? Do you want other boys around you? Do you need other boys around you?" Mingyu stopped at a red light, turning his head to see his girlfriend, angrier than before. 

"At least those boys will reply to my messages in the middle of the night when I feel sad without giving me lame excuses about their wives the next morning" She didn't turned to see him, she just took a deep breath, it wasn't even fucking 10 am and she was going to start crying already. 

"Babe..." Mingyu took a deep breath too, turning his gaze to the road, the red light turned into a green one and he needed to continue driving. "I am so sorry, I know you are having a bad time, I know it's difficult but please... yesterday was a bad day overall and when I arrived home Eunwoo was already yelling at me, she wants to divorce but she wants to keep the house, which I refuse" 

"I don't care what your wife wants, Mingyu, for once just stop talking about her and ask me how my day is going or if I ate breakfast this morning or if I fought with my dad again, something different" Minghao rested her head on the top of the seat, closing her eyes. "I don't care about others, Mingyu, I just want you" 

"Do you love me?" Mingyu asked, reaching one of his girlfriend's hand to squeeze it gently. 

"I love you, dumbass" She nodded, pouting and holding that hand gently. "I love you and I hate when we fight, please let's have a peaceful weekend" 

Mingyu stopped in front of the restaurant Minghao worked at and he turned to smile at her. "I love you too, let's have a peaceful weekend" He leaned over to kiss his girlfriend on the lips and after a couple of minutes he broke the kiss. "I'll pick you up when you finish your shift, let's plan something for tomorrow, huh? We can go shopping or something like that" 

"That sounds great" Minghao smiled widely, it had been a couple of weeks since they actually went out to have a nice day together. "I'll see you later, I love you" She gave him another kiss and left the car, smiling. 

 

 

  
Minghao pushed the glass door with both hands after waving at her boyfriend and entered the restaurant, immediately walking to the door that said 'Authorized Personal Only". She left her bag on a small couch and smiled at Seungcheol who was sitting there by himself on a chair, looking at the floor. 

"Hey, it's a nice day to look at the floor all day, isn't it?" She jokingly said, sitting next to him in a free chair.

"She is cheating on me" Seungcheol whispered, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. 

"Wow, what?" Minghao blinked repeatedly a couple of times after hearing that. "Who is she? Who is cheating?" 

"Jeonghan" Seungcheol said in a low voice "She is cheating on me, I found out on Thursday" He explained, covering his face with both hands. 

"So that's why you didn't came to work yesterday" The tall girl sighed "Did you saw him with someone else, Cheol? Did you confronted him?" She asked, caressing Seungcheol's back with one hand, trying to make him feel better. 

"No" He shook his head and turned to see the girl "I went to Jeonghan's house after work on Thursday and we were kissing and everything, we were about to have some... action, and when I took that ridiculous hoodie and the shirt off his body I saw them" He explained, his heart ached at the memory. "Hickeys and love marks, Jeonghan is cheating on me, Hao" 

"Wasn't he sick? I mean, maybe those are bruises because he fell or something" 

"Yeah, he was sick about being loyal, just that" Seungcheol rolled his eyes, trying to look pissed and not broken hearted, as he really was. "And I know exactly who the other guy is" 

"Really? Then why don't you go talk with him so you know what is going on? Punch his face, I don't know, do something, I don't really think Jeonghan is that kind of boy, he seems to be very in love with you, Cheol" Minghao shrugged, she really wanted to believe the boy was not cheating on his friend, she met Jeonghan twice only but he seemed like a really good person. 

"That is exacty what I am going to do, when I finish my shift today I'll go to that little fucker's house and break his ankles" Seungcheol frowned, he was now angry. 

"Yeah, take it easy, at least let him, whoever he is, explain what is going on, I bet if you ask politely you will receive the answers you need, even from Jeonghan" Minghao patted his friend's back. "Come on, we need to start working and you need to get distracted". 

 

 

 

\------------- 

 

 

"Wonwoo! Jun is here!" Seokmin raised his voice, standing at the bottom of the stairs. All of them gathered at Wonwoo's house as they planned on the day before and only Jeonghan and Joshua were missing now. 

"I'm coming!" Wonwoo went down the stairs in a slow pace and joined them at the living room. Everyone went silent for a moment, Wonwoo was wearing short denim shorts and a white tank top that showed the grey gym bra she was wearing underneath paired with a dark red lipstick. "What? Y'all saw a ghost?" She asked, raising one of her eyebrows as she put her glasses on. 

"You are damn hot, man" Seokmin said without even thinking about it, not that Wonwoo didn't know exactly what he thought about her. 

"Thank you, you are always so honest" Wonwoo smiled, shrugging. "So only Jeonghan and Joshua are missing, we can't start the passage rite if we are not complete, you have another couple of minutes to tell us if you want us to break Hansol's arms or not" 

"Please don't, let's not break arms" Seungkwan said as he shook his head. "I decided I'll wait until he gets tired of messing with me, I can live with it, I don't want problems" He explained, looking at them. 

Jun looked at Seungkwan and smiled, crossing his arms at the height of his chest. "Really? Just like that? What actually happened, kid?" He asked, still smiling, curious.   
"What? Why do you think something happened?" Seungkwan looked away immediately, sitting in a better position on the couch, trying to look casual and not as nervous as he was. 

Wonwoo smiled. "Jun, the only straight Hansol is, is a straight bitch. Let's just give this kid time, he will eventually speak, huh?" She hugged Jun and kissed his chest, leaving the mark of her lips there. 

"Is he yours now?" Soonyoung asked, looked at the mark left by Wonwoo's lips, laughing. 

"He was mine even before, I have a strong mind control" Wonwoo wiggled both eyebrows and laughed when Jun smacked her shoulder. 

"How cute... cut it before I throw up" Jihoon rolled his eyes and shook his head. 

 

Someone knocked at the door and Wonwoo immediately went to open it. She smiled when standing outside were Jeonghan and Joshua holding hands, they didn't seem excited about being there, especially Jeonghan, but Wonwoo begged Joshua to bring him to his house since he skipped classes on Friday. 

 

"My gentleman and my prince charming" Wonwoo quickly hugged Jeonghan and then Joshua. "Come in, Jihoon was about to punch us in the face" She laughed, closing the door behind them when they were inside. 

"Jihoon, always being the sweet guy he is" Joshua smiled, trying to look calm when his heart was beating so fast inside his chest. 

"Hey" Jeonghan tried to smile and sat next to Seokmin on the couch, resting his head on the latter's shoulder and closing his eyes. 

"Are you feeling better, dude?" Seokmin asked, wrapping Jeonghan's shoulders with one arm carefully to stick him closer. 

Jeonghan took a deep breath. "Seungcheol broke up with me" He said out loud, shrugging, he was trying to act calm and cool with it, but sadness was clear in his face, they all knew how Jeonghan loved him. 

"Wow, is he stupid?" Soonyoung raised an eyebrow, surprised with the news. 

Jeonghan didn't said anything, he just smiled a little, his friends knew how to make him feel better. "Can I lay down for a moment in your room, Wonwon?" He asked, looking at her. 

"Of course" Wonwoo asked, and when Jeonghan nodded she stretched her arm for Jeonghan to take his hand. "Come with me, Shua. Jihoon, if anyone starts telling bad jokes please punch them in the arm" 

"What are you talking about, you are the only one who tells bad jokes, just leave already" Jihoon smirked and everyone else laughed about it.   
"I'll tell my mom about this, you squishy little dick" Wonwoo showed him her middle finger and the proceeded to leave, going upstairs with her two friends. "Baby, seriously, if you want to stay here you can do it, you know my mom loves to have you here and we can have like a very gay sleepover, I'll watch sports with you and everything" she whispered, holding Jeonghan's hand. 

"Thank you, I think I can stay but I'll leave early, I'm going to babysit tomorrow" Jeonghan opened the door of Wonwoo's bedroom and immediately went to lay down on the bed. 

"Shouldn't you ask your mom first? I don't want her to get mad at me for staying... she is never going to adopt me if she gets mad" 

"She is going to adopt you anyways, in fact she will adopt everyone because she loves to have you guys around" Wonwoo smiled and left a kiss on Jeonghan's forehead. "Rest, okay? We'll order food and then you will come down to eat, no excuses Mr. Bones, you are too skinny" 

"Yes, yes..." Jeonghan rolled his eyes and then closed them. 

 

Joshua took a deep breath and left the bedroom before Wonwoo, who closed the door once she was out. They both could hear Jeonghan crying inside. 

"He didn't wanted to come, Seungcheol thinks he is cheating on him" Joshua told Wonwoo in a whisper. 

"Is he ever going to tell us? I'm so tired about seeing him like that, depressed always... at least we try to hide the fact that we want to die but he is just..." Wonwoo closed her eyes and shook her head. 

"Take care of him, I'm going to see if I can do anything about Seungcheol" Joshua patted Wonwoo's arm gently and tried his best to smile. 

"He says he is going to babysit tomorrow, should I go with him?" She asked, looking at Joshua. 

"If you can, go with him, he is just going to babysit a boy that lives a couple of blocks far from our street... Lee Chan or something, he always babysit that kid" Joshua shrugged and then turned, ready to go back to the living room. 

"Josh" Wonwoo called him and the latter turned to see her. She pressed a soft kiss on his lips and Joshua's heart started to beat without any kind of control inside his chest. "Thank you for taking care of him" 

 

 

 

Joshua was walking to his house after spending the entire evening in Wonwoo's house and he had to admit that even though the atmosphere was a bit sad at the beginning, he left the house more relaxed to see his best friend laughing at least one or two times. Yes, it may seem like he and his friends cared too much for Jeonghan but they couldn't help it. Out of all of them Jeonghan was the most vulnerable and unstable one, they couldn't help to worry about because when he was happy, he cheered on everyone and he helped everyone when they got into trouble. 

 

He took his phone when he felt it moving inside his pocket and read a message from "the hurricane", Soonyoung, letting him that the next day they were going to gather as well.   
When he returned his eyes to the road, he saw someone standing in front of his door. As he got closer he realized it was Seungcheol, waiting for him. 

 

They both sat down on the pathway in complete silence for a couple of minutes, until Seungcheol spoke. 

 

 

"Do you love Jeonghan?" He asked, without looking at the latter. 

"Of course I love him, he is my best friend" Joshua answered without a doubt. 

"Not like that, you know what I'm talking about" Seungcheol's voice raised a bit, he didn't want to play any kind of games, he just wanted to know the truth. 

"I don't know what you are thinking but we are not dating in secret, Jeonghan has been my friend for about eight years now, we don't see each other like that" Joshua said firmly, turning to see the older. 

"Then what is going on?" Seungcheol turned to see him too, only then Joshua noticed how sad he looked. As sad as his friend. "I love Jeonghan... I need an explanation" 

Joshua took a deep breath and nodded, "He doesn't want to talk about so please... please, I'm begging you, don't tell anybody about this". 

Seungcheol was not sure about it but he nodded anyway, too curious about the latter's words. 

"Jeonghan is being abused and harassed by his mother's husband" Joshua told in a really low voice, biting his lower lip. He thought he was the only one who knew it, Jeonghan told him immediately after it first happened, but Wonwoo and Jun knew them too well, they knew something bad was happening. "It started a couple of weeks ago but he doesn't want to talk about it" 

Seungcheol clenched his fists and stood up from where he was sitting, starting to walk to Jeonghan's house across the street. 

Joshua stood up too and stopped him, grabbind his hands and pulling him back to the pathway to sit again. "Aren't you listening to me you idiot? I said he doesn't want others to know it" He repeated, furrowing his eyebrows. 

"I am going to kill that motherfucker with my own hands" Seungcheol was so angry and heartbroken. Disappointed of himself for doubting about his boyfriend. He was supposed to protect him and he didn't even knew something like that was happening to him. 

"Please, please, that's not how we can help Jeonghan, we need to think about it and wait, seriously, that's what he said" Joshua put all his strength into holding Seungcheol just in case. 

 

They looked each other in the eyes. They needed to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL REVEAL MORE OF THE BACKGROUND STORIES OF THE CHARACTERS AND WE WILL FINALLY MEET BABY DINO, YAY! We will also see what happened with Seungkwan and Hansol.
> 
> Also yes, that one with minghao was the got7 dude. 
> 
> Wonwoo and Jun or Wonwoo and Joshua? You are going to faint when they start doing their thing.


	5. CHAPTER V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chan is not what Seokmin was expecting, Seungkwan is confused, Seungcheol and Jeonghan talk about a drastic way to get rid off their problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This also took too long to be written, especially the last part, I rewrite it probably three times. I am not totally happy with it but it leads to something, I guess (?)

Seokmin took a deep breath as he sat on the couch, his parents were screaming at each other again. His older sister rolled her eyes and simply waved at him as she left the house to go work, she wasn't going to take part on another fight, she was tired. He only waved back and took his cellphone out to start texting Soonyoung, he wanted to know if the plans for the day were still going, he didn't wanted to stay at his house either.

 

“If you don't want to stay then fucking go! Not like you don't have another house to go, you fucking cheater!” Seokmin’s mother screamed at her husband, angry.

“I am leaving! I am fucking leaving!” The man answered, screaming too and he made his way to the door, slamming it as he left. 

 

Seokmin didn't understood. If they were so unhappy and miserable being together, if they spent their time together fighting… why they always came back to each other?   
Yes, they were his parents, maybe it was bad to hope for them to give up on their shitty marriage, but even as a kid all he remembered were fights. One after another.

 

“You better start cleaning your room if you don't want me to ground you for the rest of your life” His mother looked at him, angry. This was the worst part, she always found the way to made he and his sister pay for every fight. 

Seokmin nodded and stood up, ready to start cleaning, as soon as he finished he could leave that fucking house to be with his friends.

 

 

\----

 

 

Jihoon finished eating his cereal as he answered messages from the group chat he and his friends where in, he laughed at a couple of stupid photos they sent and simply shook his head. 

 

“Seriously Jihoon? Cereal at 2:00 pm?” His mother crossed her arms as she looked at him, clearly not happy at his son's food choice.

“I am not really hungry” He lied, shrugging. “I made lunch for you, take it” He pushed a small blue lunch box. He used the last stuff in the fridge to make it, that was the reason he choose to eat cereal even when he was not a huge fan of it. 

He and his mother were struggling with money recently and even when she told him it was just a temporary thing, two months had already passed of that ‘temporary thing’, he was worried, she even started working two jobs and she was tired, he could notice. 

“Are you going out today? You want money?” She opened her purse and looked through her things.

“No, it's okay, I am just going to Jeonghan's house” He shook his head. “Have a good day, I'll send you a message when I return home, maybe I can wait for you so we come home together” 

“Okay, honey, take care” She left a soft kiss on Jihoon’s head and smiled, then she left.

 

One hour later Jihoon met with Soonyoung and Seokmin, the three of them were slowly walking to the house Jeonghan told them he was going to babysit. The day before he really seemed wrecked about the situation with his boyfriend, it was normal for them to be worried and they wanted to distract their friend from sadness.  
That was what they did, distract each other from sadness.

“Do you think it was because Seungcheol already gave up with Jeonghan wanting to be a dude or something?” Soonyoung asked, both of his hands inside his jeans’ pockets. 

“I don't really think so, he seems to be really into Hannie” Seokmin shook his head. “And if he wasn't really into Jeonghan he would have left earlier, you know there's no need to take shit for someone you don't actually feel something for”

“Jeonghan has a really… interesting way of thinking” Jihoon said, shrugging. “Sometimes he goes too far but I can't blame him, everybody copes with their shit different”

“Like you, who just wait for the sweet embrace of death while you complain how shitty your life is?” Soonyoung smacked Jihoon’s back gently, chuckling. 

“Well, not everybody likes to cut their wrists gently just to hide it later using big ass hoodies” Jihoon raised one eyebrow. “Not judging tho, I want to die and some days I find it extremely hard to get out of bed, but I learned to live with it… most of the days” He stopped right in front of the door of the house they were supposed to meet at.

Seokmin looked at the house, it was huge. Not really sure of being at the correct address he knocked at the door gently a couple of times, then he just waited.

 

“Hey, the three musketeers” Jun opened the door and they entered, still confused. 

“What is this?” Soonyoung asked, amused, looking at the inside of the house, it was all too fancy.

“Don't touch anything, hurricane, unless you want the fancy owners of this house to get your little ass to the police station when they return” Jun patted his friend's shoulder and led him to the living room where the rest were sitting. 

 

“We are not allowed to smoke inside, let's go outside” A voice Seokmin didn't recognize said that and when he turned his head to look at the owner of the said voice he froze in his place.

“This is Chan, don't touch him, he is my son” Jeonghan raised his voice to introduce the ‘kid' he was supposedly babysitting to his friends who had just arrived. 

Seokmin's jaw almost dropped. He was not a fucking kid, he was expecting a 2 year old annoying baby… not a hot guy wearing a black sleeveless shirt. 

“Chan, those over there are Seokmin, Soonyoung and Jihoon” Jeonghan finger pointed at his friends.

“I thought you were babysitting, he looks older than you” Soonyoung chuckled, crossing his arms as he took a look at Chan. 

“My son here is only 14, I'm technically babysitting” Jeonghan proudly stood next to Chan and pinched his cheeks with both hands. 

“You are only two years older than me” Chan complained but he didn't seemed annoyed at how Jeonghan treated him. “And I'm not your son” he added, pouting.

Jeonghan raised one eyebrow. “Then whose baby's are you?” he asked, with a serious expression.

Chan seemed to be having an internal battle for a couple of minutes “I'm your baby…” he whispered, giving up.

“Your mental conditioning is no joke” Wonwoo laughed, Jeonghan only smiled and patted Chan’s head gently. 

“As Chan was saying, we are not allowed to smoke here, let's go outside” Jun raised his voice a little only to gather attention. 

Everyone stood up from the couches they were sitting on and walked outside to the large backyard. The sat down on the extremely green grass in a circle, lighting three cigarettes for all of them, they had to share otherwise they wouldn't last. 

“When are the parents coming back?” Jihoon asked, as he inhaled the smoke. 

“Seven, we have until then to talk about how bad we want to die” Jeonghan answered, passing the cigarette to Joshua, who was unusually quiet sitting next to him.

“You sure know how to spend your time, right?” Chan raised one eyebrow, smirking. 

“We are teenagers with shitty lives, is there any other way to spend a Sunday afternoon?” Seokmin said taking his time to smoke from the cigarette and everyone just giggled at his sincere response.

“Let's play something steamy” Soonyoung suggested, wiggling his eyebrows. “Questions and answers”

“That's a shitty game, but I'm in” Wonwoo shrugged, not like she had another place to be or something more interesting to do.

“I'll start since this is my house” Chan raised his hand as he looked intently to Wonwoo.

“Kid knows how to play his cards, he sure is your son Jeonghan” Jun laughed, looking at Chan, Jeonghan put a hand over his chest and smiled, trying to look proud.

“What's inside your pants?” Chan asked curious without even hesitating, looking at Wonwoo. 

“You want to take a look kid?” Wonwoo crossed her arms at the height of her chest, she perfectly knew her androgynous image caused a lot of trouble to others at guessing, but she liked it. “I might have a big dick hiding inside my pants” She shrugged. 

“I don't think so, but what causes me issues is that I don't know if I should call you handsome of pretty” Chan accepted without any kind of shame.

“Oh, he is very straight with his words, watch out Jun” Seokmin laughed.

“Slick” Jeonghan put his thumbs up and laughed too.

“You can call me both, I don't really care, I'm not particularly a fan of being one thing or another, both are cool” Wonwoo simply smiled. 

Chan smiled too, then he just shrugged. 

Joshua rolled his eyes. He was already done with this kid.

 

\-------

 

 

Seungkwan shoved his fingers inside his mouth and pushed them, he instantly started to throw up. He felt relieved, now that he was getting all the food he ate a couple of minutes ago out of his stomach.

He stood up from the floor and washed his face, he was too tired but he needed to exercise again, just because he threw up it didn't mean the calories were not there anymore. But he couldn't do it just now.

Seungkwan went downstairs again and smiled as he entered the living room, Hansol was sitting there waiting for him.

“Are you feeling better?” Hansol asked, he seemed really worried.

“Yes, I feel better now” Seungkwan nodded, sitting next to him.

Both of them stayed silent for a couple of minutes, until Hansol decided to take Seungkwan’s hand and then he intertwined their fingers together. 

It was still weird. 

Hansol was still a total idiot at school, he was still his bully and he made school a hellhole for Seungkwan. But when they were alone in a place where no one could see them, Hansol was the sweetest person alive and it was clear he liked Seungkwan back as much as the latter liked him.

“Do you want me to kiss your forehead until you feel better?” Hansol hugged Seungkwan tight, placing a small peck on his cheek.

“That would really help” Seungkwan smiled and nodded softly.

 

His stomachache was not going to leave him alone and he perfectly knew it, but Hansol's sweet kisses were not something he was going to refuse to. 

“Are you going to be bad to me tomorrow too even if I'm sick?” Seungkwan asked, turning his head to look at the latter. 

“You know it's not up to me, my friends-”

“Your friends are idiots” Seungkwan cut him before he could even finish that sentence, he already knew what Hansol was going to say.

Hansol sighed. It was difficult for him too, hiding what he really felt in order to maintain his school status was hard, there was nothing he could do. 

 

\-----------

 

 

“We will add you to our group chat, Chan” Seokmin said, waving, they were all ready to leave. 

“Are you sure you don't want me and Wonwoo to wait for you until his parents return?” Jun asked Jeonghan, he was ready to leave too but he wanted to make sure.

“I bet they are going to be here any moment, I will text you when I get home and everything will be okay” Jeonghan smiled to his friend. “Plus you all need to arrive home early, we have school tomorrow” 

“Text me when you get home” Jun made a serious face. “Text me all night, if you stop texting I will call you, you listen to me? And you better pick up unless you want me banging at your door at 3 am” 

“You are so intense, I bet Wonwoo loves it” Jeonghan wiggled his eyebrows, he wasn't even trying to hide it anymore, the fact that something was wrong at his house, he was just trying to made it seem less important because he was actually going crazy on the inside.

“Idiot, just pick when I call” Jun sucked his teeth and shook his head, placing a kiss on Jeonghan’s forehead. 

The long haired boy waved at his friends as they left, it was good to spend time with them.

 

Chan's parents arrived home just at the time they expected and after paying him for taking good care of him, as always, Jeonghan left the house. He walked at a slow pace just because the idea of actually arriving home was making him feel sick. 

When he opened the front door and saw his mother’s husband sitting on the couch watching TV he hurried to go upstairs to his room, but the man ran to grab him by the wrist.

“I'm on my period” Jeonghan said, fighting to release himself from that hand. 

The man chuckled. “Your mouth isn't” he simply answered.

Jeonghan almost threw up right there, he started shivering as he followed him to the couch. 

“I'm just trying to help, angel, to make you understand you are a beautiful girl with an extraordinary body, I'm trying to cure your stupid obsession with being a boy” the man made Jeonghan lay down on the couch. 

“When did you got your psychology certificate? I'll burn that fucking school down for letting an idiot like you graduate and put this kind of things in practice” Jeonghan didn't even hesitate into saying that, but he was already covering his eyes with one of his arms, they were watering and he hated to show how vulnerable he was. 

The man laughed and proceeded to put his hands inside Jeonghan's shirt, starting to lift it up. 

 

“Hannie are you home?” His mother’s voice echoed from upstairs. 

“I'm home!” Jeonghan hurried to get up from the couch, practically jumping, and ran upstairs, cleaning the tears from his eyes but he was still shivering. 

His mom saved him. He didn't looked at her, he only whispered a “goodnight” and ran into his room. He closed the door and locked it, then he started crying, trembling.

“Jeonghan” A voice in the middle of the dark made him jump scared and he hurried to turn on the lights.

“Seungcheol what are you doing here? How did you got here?” Jeonghan started cleaning his face with both hands. 

Seungcheol approached him and took his face with both hands, cupping it gently. He cleaned his tears with his thumbs, his heart aching from seeing the younger like that.

Jeonghan smacked Seungcheol's hands out of his face, looking at him confused. 

“I know what's going on Joshua told me, let me help you, forgive me for being an idiot” Seungcheol looked at Jeonghan in the eyes. “Please forgive me”

“There's nothing you can do” Jeonghan smiled bitterly and shrugged.

“I'll kill him” Seungcheol said, sure about his words.

Jeonghan looked at him and bit his lower lip, some tears were still falling from his eyes and he was still shivering a little. His cellphone was ringing inside his pocket, he sighed. 

He wanted to kill him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Please let me know in the comments! I am always willing to get your opinions, remember comments are what feeds us authors to keep going❤
> 
> To the person who mentioned it: JEON WONWOW IS IN THE HOUSE. 
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter more about Hao and Mingyu❤


	6. CHAPTER VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hansol tells Seungkwan something that starts hunting his thoughts. Jeonghan finally confesses what's going on and his friends lose it. Wonwoo initially plots a murdering but it leaves her head to think about something else. Minghao is the future Mrs Kim. Joshua wants to rant bout Jun but ends up doing something better with his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I am writing this as I watch the don't wanna cry part switch ver for the xxxth time, my sons are looking hella fine. 
> 
> If you don't already know it I am writing another story along with this one called Nasty (gyuhan) and it's close to ending so I was asking my readers there what would they want to read next, so please if any of you have suggestions to a couple I should write leave them in the comments. I am thinking about a MingyuxWonwoo tooth rotting fluff or a sexy Jeongcheolsoo, but any suggestion will be taken into a count.

“I'm not calling you daddy” Minghao shook her head, looking intently at her boyfriend. 

“But why?” Mingyu had both hands holding his girlfriend's hips, she was sitting in his lap, her legs at each side of his body.

“Because… I call my actual dad ‘daddy', if I start calling you daddy I will have to call him bro or something, Gyu” Minghao laughed, rubbing the male’s shoulders softly with both hands.

“Come on, don't tell me it doesn't turns you on” Mingyu wiggled his eyebrows, smiling.

“Stop it already” Minghao smacked Mingyu’s chest softly, keeping her smile. She sighed and simply went to leave a soft kiss on the latter's lips.

“You know I love you, right?” Mingyu asked, his hands now holding his girlfriend’s hands gently, fingers intertwined. 

“But you are afraid” Minghao bitterly smiled, shrugging. 

“Why would you say that? I am not afraid” Mingyu quickly shook his head, frowning. 

“Yes you are, that's the only excuse I can think of when you promised we will have a day shopping and having fun yet we are here, at a hotel room with the lights shut” Minghao released her own hands from the gripping and crossed her arms. 

“I am sorry, I know I promised but I really wanted to spend time with you alone…” Mingyu took Minghao’s chin gently with his left index finger and thumb to make her look at him “I am not afraid, I have nothing to be afraid of”

“You are a ‘straight’ married thirty year old man dating an eighteen year old girl that hides a dick under her skirt, it's enough to be scared” Minghao stood up from the latter's lap and shook her head, every single one of their encounters ended like this, both of them fighting. 

“I am not ashamed of dating you, Hao” Mingyu stood up too, he approached his girlfriend and hugged her gently. “I love you and I regret nothing, I am lucky to have you, I don't care about anything else”

“I said I didn't care about your wife when we first started dating, I knew my place” Minghao was now silently crying “But now I want you all for me, I want you to look at me and only at me, I want to be by your side, I want to be your wife in the future… I want to feel special”

“You are special, baby” Mingyu placed a soft kiss on that silver hair “It's kind of difficult right now but I really want to marry you. I want us to have a beautiful wedding and you will use a white dress and you will look absolutely stunning” He assured, nodding. 

“You promise?” Minghao lifted her head, pouting, tears falling from her dark brown eyes. 

“I promise” Mingyu nodded, kissing her forehead. “Think of yourself as the future Mrs. Kim” 

“Kim Minghao?” The tall girl laughed and shook her head, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand. “Sounds great” She sighed, happy now. “Come here, let Mrs Kim do something nice for her future husband” 

Minghao smiled and lead Mingyu to sit at the edge of the bed, placing herself between his legs. She lifted her head and looked directly into his boyfriend's eyes. 

“What?” The man asked, a bit confused at the sudden look she was giving him.

“Daddy” Minghao whispered, pouting in an attempt of looking cute while her hands tried to open his boyfriend's pants. “It's only that I have been wishing to suck your dick so hard” 

“Oh, my baby has been wishing to suck my dick” Mingyu repeated, smirking, only Minghao had the power to turn him on in two seconds. “I should give my baby what she wants… if you are a good girl I will reward you, do a nice job and after this we will go shopping” 

Minghao took Mingyu's half hard dick out of his clothes with both hands, licking her lips and then she smiled “Daddy is so good with me” she said faking a childish voice. 

Mingyu took a deep breath, looking at his girlfriend's actions, impatient. She first licked only the tip of that erection, while her hands caressed it gently, up and down. 

“Look at me, daddy, look at me while I eat it” She asked in a soft voice before filling her mouth with that hard length, carefully. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” Mingyu closed his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply, he could come just by looking at his gorgeous girlfriend sucking his dick. “Come here” he stopped her from what she was doing and made her to lay on the bed. 

 

Mingyu placed himself between those slender milky legs after spreading them and smirked, Minghao's cheeks were red. His hands made their way under the chinese girl's skirt and pulled her underwear down. 

“Daddy gave them to me” Minghao said, looking at the pink lace panties his boyfriend was holding with his left hand.

The man chuckled and smelled the underwear for a couple of seconds, then he threw it to the floor. “Daddy is going to give you something else” he simply answered, reaching the girl's lips to kiss them, as his right hand again went under her skirt, giving her dick a stroke.   
Minghao moaned between the kiss, biting her boyfriend's lower lip. 

 

 

\-------

 

 

Joshua was talking with Soonyoung near the classroom's window, laughing about something stupid the last had said. The teacher haven't arrived the classroom yet.

Jeonghan arrived to the classroom and furrowed his eyebrows as soon as he saw Joshua. He threw his schoolbag to the floor and ran to where his two friends were talking. “You fucking idiot!” he grabbed Joshua by his school's shirt collar, tightly gripping it. 

“Hey, hey! Easy man!” Soonyoung opened his eyes widely at the surprise of his friend's actions and quickly tried to separate them. 

“Jeonghan, what the fuck!” Jun was also arriving the classroom but as soon as he saw what was happening he ran to stop it. He grabbed Jeonghan by the waist with both arms and easily lifted him, taking the shorter with him.   
“I am going to fucking cut his tongue!” Jeonghan was fighting, trying to release himself from Jun. 

Joshua immediately knew what was Jeonghan talking about. His gaze went straight to the floor and he swallowed, Soonyoung was asking him what was going on. 

“He told Seungcheol, he told Seungcheol what's happening” Jeonghan was angry, panting exhausted, still looking at Joshua who was now at the other side of the classroom. 

Their classmates were looking at them weirdly, gossiping about what was happening. 

“I'm sure he didn't had bad intentions, Hannie, please…” Jun grabbed Jeonghan by his shoulders softly, trying to calm him down. “We all just want to help you” 

“I told him as a secret, he is my best friend, I thought I could trust him” Jeonghan wanted to cry at that point. 

“Listen to me, Jeonghan, we all love you, we are all worried about you and we are trying our best to understand you and help you, I'm sure Joshua just did what he thought was the best way possible to help you a little” Jun took the latter's face with both hands, cupping his cheeks, speaking softly. 

“But he told Seungcheol” Jeonghan repeated, tears already going down his cheeks. 

“And what did Seungcheol said?” Jun lifted both eyebrows, waiting for the answer. 

The teacher entered the classroom and following her entered Wonwoo, Seokmin and Jihoon. All of them took their seats and Jeonghan just simply wiped his tears with the sleeve of the big green hoodie he was wearing over his uniform. 

 

 

 

“Are you sure you don't want go to see the nurse?” Seokmin asked, standing outside the bathroom stall Seungkwan was in. 

“Sure” Seungkwan answered, nodding his head even when his friend was not inside with him to see it. 

“It sounds pretty bad if you ask me, how long have you been throwing up?” Seokmin asked, knocking at the white plastic door. “Did you go the doctor yesterday?”

“I think maybe the breakfast was too heavy for my stomach” Seungkwan explained, finally going outside the bathroom stall after pushing the handle to make his vomit go. He washed his hand and face then he sighed, turning to see his friend. 

“Let's go to with the others” Seokmin suggested, grabbing Seungkwan by his wrist gently.

“I'll be there in a minute, I have to wash my face once again just to make sure I'll not throw up while being upstairs with you all” Seungkwan smiled and the latter just nodded, leaving him in the bathroom alone. 

 

Seungkwan listened to the bathroom door opening again and turned to see if Seokmin needed anything more but it was not him.

“Hey there, how are you feeling?” Hansol asked in a whisper, smiling. His back was pressing the door so it wouldn't open suddenly, it will prevent them if someone tried to enter while the two of them were there alone. 

“I'm good” Seungkwan shrugged, smiling at Hansol. “Maybe I just need to drink more water and take vitamins”

“Your friend sounded concerned, I thought something was wrong” Hansol extended his left hand to invite Seungkwan to get closer and the latter silently accepted, now they were holding hands. 

“Something is going on with Jeonghan but I don't know what yet” Seungkwan explained, kissing Hansol's cheek. 

“That fucking girl is a nightmare, plus she is actually a slut, I bet she is sick with some sexual disease” Hansol laughed and that earned him a bad look from Seungkwan.

“He is my friend, Hansol, don't say those kind of things” Seungkwan shook his head.

“But I'm not telling lies, she is a slut, she used to sleep with that emo one, Wonwoo? And also she fucked like three different guys from the school, you are friends with her, ask of you don't believe me” Hansol shrugged, trying to prove a point. “Those kids are losers, I don't get why you want to be around them” 

“Maybe I'm a loser too” Seungkwan let go of Hansol's hand and pushed him softly, then he left the bathroom. 

 

He went upstairs to meet his friends at the rooftop and smiled gently at them, sitting next to Seokmin. 

“Are you feeling better?” Jun asked, looking worried at Seungkwan.

“Yes, sorry for the delay, I was…” Seungkwan sighed “I was crying in Jeju dialect because I remembered a quiz I'll have later today and I didn't studied” 

The atmosphere was heavy, Joshua and Jeonghan shared weird looks but none of them said anything. Not until Wonwoo talked. 

 

“So, Hannie” Wonwoo started “Are you ever going to tell us what's going on? We are your friends and it doesn't mean you have to tell us everything that happens in your life, but we are worried about you. We are trying to make our best to understand you but you need to tell us what's happening because we can't protect you if you don't say anything”

Jeonghan took his hoodie off and after a couple of minutes in complete silence and then started to unbutton his shirt, showing them his pale skin, it made contrast with some yellowish and blueish hickeys, most of them were disappearing now. “Tell them, Joshua” He said, looking at his friend. 

Joshua rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, but he nodded. “His mother's husband is taking advantage, he has been doing terrible things to Jeonghan” he simply said, he didn't wanted to say anything else, surely his friends were going to get it.

“He raped me and has been doing it for the past two months, but recently he got even more violent, he likes to beat me but just enough for me to see it, not the others” Jeonghan finally said, buttoning his shirt. “Joshua was the only one who knew because the first time it happened I ran to his house, I had an anxiety attack and he helped me”

“I am going to fucking kill him” Wonwoo raised her voice, gripping his hands, she was furious. 

“Why haven't you said anything yet? To your mom, us, the fucking police” Jihoon swallowed, his eyebrows furrowed.

“He says he's trying to cure me from my ‘disease', he doesn't believe I like boys even when he knows I have been dating Cheol for a while now. He told me he will do it to my sister if I dared to open my mouth” Jeonghan bitterly smiled and shrugged, he was about to cry again.

“We need to do something, that bastard is not going to get away with this” Jun stood up, he seemed calm but his eyes showed how angry he was inside. 

“This idiot told Seungcheol and yesterday he showed up, he entered my room through the window” Jeonghan continued, still angry at Joshua.

“I just wanted to help you, Hannie” Joshua looked so sad, his eyes were read and teary.

“What did Seungcheol said?” Soonyoung asked, after a couple of minutes trying to digest what his friend said. “He still wants to break up with you?”

“He stayed the night with me making sure nothing was going to happen but he can't do it always, he said he wanted to kill him and I told him I want him dead too” Jeonghan sighed, leaning to rest his head on Jihoon’s shoulder. The latter hugged him in return, tightly, something not common in the shorter, he was not a fan of human contact. 

“Then let's do it, let's kill him” Wonwoo stood up too, she seemed very sure about it. 

“We can't do such thing!” Seungkwan raised his voice, overwhelmed with all that information. “We have proof right? You have to say it to the police” he suggested, planning a murder was not something he was not sure he wanted to be part of. 

“He is smart enough to use a condom, he only comes on my face” Jeonghan whispered, his eyes closed. 

“Guys, please don't get creative, please, we are a bunch of teenagers, we can't do this, Jun you can't be serious” Seungkwan was about to have an anxiety attack.

“No, we have to kill him” Joshua stood up from where he was sitting. That made everyone to look at him, even Jeonghan. 

Everyone went silent and Seungkwan was hyperventilating, maybe Hansol was right, he shouldn't be around them. Suddenly he wanted to throw up even when there was nothing left in his stomach. 

 

“Leave it, I don't want you to do anything, I don't want you all to get in troubles because of him, something will eventually happen, I promise, I just have to think about it. Seungcheol and I are good now, so everything is going to be fine” Jeonghan spoke after a couple of minutes in complete silence, sure about his words. 

 

The bell rang and everyone got up, still worried, but sure about making something to stop that man from hurting their friend. They headed towards their classrooms but Seungkwan went straight to the bathroom instead, he seriously needed to throw up again. 

 

 

 

 

After classes Wonwoo still wanted to do something and Jun was not going to let her go alone, he feared she will get crazy enough to go to Jeonghan's house and make a scene, and they didn't needed that at the moment. He took Wonwoo with him to his house and also Joshua, that evening Seungcheol went to pick up his boyfriend so Jeonghan was not going to walk home alone. 

 

“I am still so pissed off, I swear I'll break his fucking neck with my hands” Wonwoo motioned with both hands, really angry. 

“Babe, you sure are tall and hot as hell, but you are light as a feather” Jun explained, trying to calm her down. 

Joshua frowned at Jun’s words and sighed. “I agree, we should do something” he said. 

“See? Shua agrees with me, he should kill him” Wonwoo sat down at the edge of Jun’s bed, her arms crossed.

“Not murdering tho” Joshua quickly said. “It's a sin and now that we know what's happening we will not let it happen again, that's for sure”

“He is right, try to relax. I am still angry as fuck but were are going to protect your little bunny, nothing else is going to happen from now on” Jun looked at the tall girl, sure about his words.

Wonwoo looked at both of them and took a deep breath, nodding. Jun sat down at her side and gently kissed her lips, Joshua looked uncomfortable at it and then got up, trying to leave the room, but Wonwoo quickly hold him by the wrist, stopping him from leaving. 

Not that he disliked Jun, they were friends and they loved each other, but he liked Wonwoo and he was aware something was happening between them.   
The two of them sat down at the edge of the bed, Joshua between Wonwoo and Jun, refusing to look at the taller at his right. 

“Josh” Wonwoo called him and immediately he turned to see her. “Kiss Jun” She smiled softly. 

Joshua was about to make a fuss about it but Jun grabbed his chin to gently kiss him on the lips. The latter opened his eyes in surprise but it didn't took long for him to be kissing Jun back. 

Wonwoo smiled, looking at them intently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I always say thank you so much for reading, leaving comments, bookmarking and leaving kudos, I am so soft for y'all, I am going to adopt every single one of you and bring you home to feed you well and make sure you sleep eight hours and be healthy. 
> 
>  
> 
> ❤❤❤❤


	7. CHAPTER VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joshua is angry, Jihoon is trying something new and Seungkwan is finally understading some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to add something shocking in this chapter but I guess I can wait a little, I'll save it for later, things can't spice up out of nowhere at the same time, right?
> 
> Also, can you believe some of the things I write here are things that I have actually been told or been witness of, I swear my life is a shitshow lmao 
> 
>  
> 
> thank you for reading, leaving kudos, leaving comments and bookmarking, my babies

"Hey piggy" 

Seungkwan turned his face to see who was calling him, because yes, that was his official nickname in the classroom, "piggy" along with "fatty" and some other derogatory words courtesy of Hansol and his friends. He rolled his eyes after realizing that guy only called him to show his middle finger and then he just simply turned his head to look at the teacher, who was currently explaining something. 

When the bell rang announcing it was already lunch time, Seungkwan didn’t hesitate on standing up to leave the classroom but Hansol took his wrist to stop him. "Why are you so eager to leave, piggy? Your friends are waiting for you or something? You have a gay reunion with those losers?" 

One of Hansol's friends laughed and approached Seungkwan to smack him at the back of his head. "I hate how gays always seem to be attracted to each other, they somehow get to recognize each other... it's disgusting" 

Hansol laughed and then released Seungkwan's wrist, making a disgust face and quickly wiped his hand on his pants "I bet in no time you'll be a bitch like Jeonghan, the only difference is that at least she's hot, no wonder why she was riding that guy's dick, you remember him Chanhee? What was his name?" He turned his face to look at his friend, who was already thinking about it. 

"Jongin" Chanhee answered "That guy who already graduated, he said the funniest things about her, she is a total weirdo" He approached Seungkwan to pat one of his cheeks not so carefully "But Hansol is right, piggy, at least she is hot, I'd totally bang that ass" 

Seungkwan pretended he wasn't actually listening to them, he just stood there in silence until Hansol pushed him hard enough to make him trip over a schoolbag that was laying on the floor. He landed on his knees and hands and instantly let out a groan, it hurt. 

"Let's leave this loser already" Hansol made a disgusted face again while looking at Seungkwan and walked to the door with this friend following him but before leaving he turned to see the other, a bit worried. "I'll see you after school" He mimicked before actually leaving him there. 

"Are you okay?" Seungkwan lifted his gaze to look at the door, Seokmin was just entering the classroom, followed by Soonyoung. 

"How are you always aware that I'm missing?" Seungkwan asked smiling bittersweetly, standing from the floor, gently patting his knees just to sit down on a chair a couple of moments later. 

"Everyone is aware that you're missing, we just were assigned to go downstairs and look for you" Soonyoung explained, sitting in front of Seungkwan, shrugging while smiling sincerely. "Are you okay? We saw Hansol leaving, was he messing with you?" 

"Nah, it's okay" Seungkwan shook his head "He was just... telling me some bullshit" 

Seokmin tilted his head a little to one side, curious at how his younger friend seemed to be way less worried about the bullying he was received than he needed to be "You still look sick, did you see a doctor?" 

"Yes, it's some kind of infection, I guess I ate something somewhere that caused it" Seungkwan lied, trying to explain himself "I'm a fatty anyways, so it's not a surprise that I just eat whatever shows up in front of me" 

Soonyoung laughed "Man, you are in a good shape, don't say that, seriously... plus these puffy cheeks are to die for, I wish I was this cute" He took Seungkwan's cheeks with both hands and squeezed them gently, smiling. "Look at him Seokmin, isn't he just too cute?" 

Seokmin nodded, smiling too "You are too cute, Kwannie" 

Seungkwan felt something warm inside his chest, his friends seemed to be real with their compliments. He shook his head, trying to keep in mind his own ideas and personal thoughs about himself, he couldn't lose track of them "Don't say such things, I know you are just being kind" 

"Nice? Even Jihoon says your cheeks look extremely cute and Jihoon isn't exactly someone who goes around saying such things" Seokmin laughed, patting his younger friend's head gently. 

The younger of them let out a deep sigh and then he just bit his lower lip "I have to ask you something, guys" 

"Is everything ok?" Soonyoung quickly asked him, lifting both of his eyebrows with a mix of curiosity and worry. 

"What's with Jeonghan?" Seungkwan asked without hesitating "I mean, what happened with him in the past? I just don't get, uhm... Hansol said a couple of things and I don't really get them..." 

Seokmin took a deep breath and rolled his eyes "That idiot, I know exactly what he said" He crossed his arms and looked at Soonyoung, who simply shrugged. There was nothing bad with telling him. 

"Hansol is just angry because Hannie doesn't even look at him... he has a crush on him since he arrived to school about a year ago or so" Soonyoung said, looking intently at Seungkwan while saying that "But there's no way Jeonghan is going to date a guy like Hansol, he is obviously the most narrow minded idiot that has ever existed in this planet, plus he is a bully just to fit somewhere, those guys around him are not even his friends" 

"Right. Hansol once invited Hannie to go out but he rejected the offer, since that day Hansol is always talking shit about him" Seokmin shrugged "I mean, yeah, of course Jeonghan has made mistakes but we are a bunch of teenagers, there's nothing wrong with totally sucking at taking decisions. I mean, I have only been part of this group for a year, though, but of course I know what I'm talking about, the Hansol thing happened when I was joining this family" 

"I bet he mentioned Jongin" Soonyoung laughed "He just can't get over it" He continued, raising an eyebrow and fixatedly looking at Seungkwan "Jongin was an older student, he liked Jeonghan a lot and certainly he liked him back, but when Jeonghan told him about his issues with his gender Jongin totally freaked out and started spreading rumors about how Jeonghan was nasty and had kinks in bed when they barely kissed like once. Hansol really likes to continue spreading those rumors around just because he can't get over the fact that Jeonghan would never even give him the hour of the day" 

Seungkwan's heart sank. "So Hansol is just a piece of shit because he likes Jeonghan and he is mad that Jeonghan is a boy? Well, he even said Jeonghan is hot, why is this so surprising" His mouth felt dry. 

"He is always giving nasty comments about Jeonghan and Wonwoo too because they used to date, obviously he is also mad at Wonwoo because how come 'a thing', how he likes to call Wonwoo, won over him?" Seokmin asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes again. 

"Wait, Wonwoo and Jeonghan used to date?" Seungkwan tilted his head to one side, his eyes opened with surprise, he was not expecting that. 

"Jeonghan is Wonwoo's world, of course they are not together anymore and nothing bad really happened between them, they just preferred to stay as friends, but I think it has a lot to do with Jeonghan not liking girls, he is a gay dude, you know" Soonyoung told his younger friend with a soft smile "They helped each other a lot, I would like to say those two are the closest among us all but to be honest we are all very close to each other" 

"But isn't Wonwoo salty about it? Jeonghan ending their relationship because of what's inside her panties? I mean, clearly, I know what's inside them because I realized she is... physically a girl the other day in her house... Does that have anything to do with her switching between genders?" Seungkwan asked skeptical, he was not very ifamiliarized the wide spectrum of the gender identities and all those things. 

"Nah, Wonwoo has always been liked that, we know each other since we were both in diapers and it's nothing new or something she just came up one day. She doesn't care, she says there's nothing wrong with being one thing or another, you know how sometimes guys are told they are not allowed to use skirts or cry in public, or girls are told they should be quiet and always behave? Well Wonwoo doesn't give two fucks, Wonwoo is just Wonwoo" Soonyoung explained calmly "Her mother is pretty cool and has always been supportive too, so Wonwoo does things freely" 

 

It was a lot of information for Seungkwan, but he was trying to digest it all... Hansol's apparent crush with Jeonghan was the hard part, because he now was able to understand why he was like that. But was Hansol playing with him then? He frowned, he suddenly wanted to cry. 

"Let's go upstairs, man, we are talking about Wonwoo's birthday, we are going to throw a party for her" Seokmin started to walk towards the door in an attempt to make his two friends to follow him upstairs to the rooftop. 

 

  
\-------------- 

 

 

 

Joshua's mind was having a hard time to focus on the bible studying he was having right now with both his mother and his father. He was stuck in the way Jun kissed him a couple of days ago at Wonwoo's house and how good it felt even when he was previously angry at them being too close. He closed his bible and it made his father to turn his head to see him. 

"You are not focusing, Joshua" The man scolded him, furrowing. "How are you expected to understand what the Lord has to say when you are not paying attention to the bible?" 

"I'm sorry" Joshua looked at his mother and bit his lower lip "Can we take a little break? I am thinking about a really important test I have next week" He lied, closing his eyes for a moment, but as soon as he did it, Jun's face appeared in his mind. The softness of his lips and how experienced they seemed to be. 

"You are going to approve it, you always have good grades, don't worry too much" His mother tried to calm him, gently smiling at him. 

"Remember how that guy at church turned out to be gay?" Joshua suddenly asked, opening his eyes to look at his parents, he was testing the waters. "What happened to him?" 

"He was expelled, of course" His father answered, letting out a small smile at that fact "Homosexuals are the cancer of our society, those gays and lesbians, depraved people blinded by Satan... make things harder for us who try to teach others the path that must be followed" 

Joshua's jaw was about to drop to the fucking floor. 

"I would rather you to be a serial killer than a dirty faggot" His father made a disgust face and simply shrugged, his mother nodding in a silent way to show her support for those words. 

"I'm not feeling very well; can I go to my room to take a short nap? I think maybe Seungkwan's virus got me too, I'm even feeling a little nauseous" Joshua stood up from the chair he was sitting and ran upstairs to his room. 

 

\-------- 

 

  
Jihoon was sitting next to Soonyoung who was too busy with his cellphone texting to even reply to the question he made minutes ago. 

"Did you even hear me?" Jihoon smacked Soonyoung's shoulder hard enough to make him stop smiling dumbly at his cellphone's screen and look at him. 

"What?" The taller of the two seemed to be too immersed in his previous texting to even notice his friend staring at him, or the question he made, or even where they were. 

"Who are you even talking that you already missed your stop three streets ago? I asked if you are coming home with me since you let you stop pass" Jihoon furrowed, he shook his head also, annoyed. 

"I am talking to Chan, Jeonghan's friend... son?" Soonyoung laughed, the concept of Chan actually being Jeonghan's son was still so hilarious. "I invited him to Jun's party, he is pretty cool, you know? Of course, you know, you were there to meet him" 

Jihoon clenched his teeth "I was there, yes" He nodded lightly "And yes, he is kind of cool" He simply shrugged. 

"He is super, to be honest" Soonyoung widened his smile "I like him" He simply said out loud without even hesitating. 

"You like him? What does that even mean? He is fourteen fucking years old" Jihoon furrowed, looking at his friend, trying to find out if he was somehow kidding. 

"What if he is fourteen? He is cool and I like him, I'm totally asking him out, I think he likes me too" 

"I remembered I have something to do, Soonyoung, my mother asked me to go somewhere to get something, see you later" And after saying that, Jihoon left the bus in the next stop without saying anything else. 

Jihoon walked home. He cried, and for the first time in his life, after always complaining about how dumb people who cut themselves were, he made small cuts in his thighs.   
It didn’t really hurt. Not as much as his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wait for your comments I AM THIRSTY FOR THEM HEHEHE
> 
> Also, if you don't have like anything else to do, I'm currently writing a soft and fluffly meanie couple fic called A l'ouest so maybe you can go there and read it and have a nice time relaxing from all the angst in here lol
> 
>  
> 
> give me your looooooooooooove on insta @paradoxx420 let's talk about how bad I want wonwoo to stab me with his jawline or on twitter @pinkbambidesu about how grateful i'll be if junhui punched me on the face 
> 
>  
> 
> you are my babies, never forget about that


	8. CHAPTER VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu is jealous. Wonwoo and Jun have some new information that can be very helpful. Jeonghan is gay for Seungcheol and also for his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am already updating this, yes. Just because I had a scene in my head I needed to take out and because I need to chill in this chapter in order to mentally prepare you for what's comming. 
> 
> Thank me later.

"Oh my god, Seungcheol" Jeonghan was holding his boyfriend's shoulders with both hands, his head tilted to one side and his brown long hair all over the light green pillow, colors contrasting with each other.

 

"Let's just do it, please" Seungcheol leaned to whisper directly into Jeonghan's ear, panting, his hands holding his legs at each side of his body, he was placed between the latter's legs. Both of them were fully dressed but they had been kissing and touching each other for a while now, it was natural that after an entire hour of rubbing against each other's bodies over their clothes they were feeling like it was not enough.

 

"I'm on my period" Jeonghan answered in a whisper too, kissing his boyfriend's neck while his hands traveled across his wide muscular back.

 

"I don't really care, babe" The older was pressing kisses on his boyfriend's chest and his hands were already making their way under his uniform's skirt again to grope his ass. "Let's do it in the shower" He suggested, now unbuttoning the uniform's shirt to kiss those small breasts that were trapped in a white bra, hungry.

 

"Fuck, let's just do it" Jeonghan moaned as soon as he felt his boyfriend's teeth gently biting his left breast over the bra. He gave a gentle pat to his boyfriend's head in order to make him stop and then both of them got up from the older's bed.

Jeonghan skipped classes to go to Seungcheol's house so they could spend some time together, he hated to admit it but Joshua's decision to tell his boyfriend about the situation at his house was the best thing to do... he was even teaching him how to fight and Jeonghan's eager to be a rougher guy made him learn very fast. He was weak though, and also very skinny so he needed to put on some weight eventually if he wanted to be taken serious.

In the past few weeks he managed to get things under his control by being more threatening at home, he got early and hid in his room most of the time so he could avoid his mother's husband and he was successful with it. He was slowly returning to be his own self after being depressed most of his time... not that depression was ever going to fully left his body, but at least he was not crying always.

 

Jeonghan smiled at his boyfriend and got rid of his shirt. Seungcheol smiled too, his heart beating fast, then he just took his boyfriend by the wrist and dragged him inside the bathroom.

 

 

 

\------------

 

 

 

 

 

"Am I fucking dreaming?" Jackson, Minghao's friend, had his mouth open as he looked at the girl entering his car and sitting on the passenger's seat. Her signature long silver hair was now a vibrant red and she looked fucking gorgeous with it.

 

"Should I take that as a compliment?" Minghao laughed, blushing a little as she closed the door and put her bag on her lap.

 

"You look like the little mermaid, but hot and cute at the same time, what the fuck" Jackson laughed nervously, looking through the windscreen as he drove out of their apartment complex. "It suits you, you are so pleasing to look at"

 

"Stop it already, I'm going to blush" Minghao whined, pouting, her friend was being too nice. "Also thank you very much for dropping me at work, I got up really late and I had to clean the bathroom because when I washed the dye out it looked like someone got murdered in there"

 

"I'm not bleeding but you sure are killing me with, Hao" Jackson took a quick look at the girl and smiled genuinely. She was so precious.

 

"I'm going to punch you if you compliment me one more time, I swear, just stop already you are too good to be true" The girl covered her face with both hands in an attempt of hiding how her cheeks probably matched her hair now thanks to the shower of praising the male was giving her.

 

"You could punch me in the face and I'll be thankful" The male laughed, stopping outside the restaurant Minghao worked in. "Princess, we arrived safely" He announced, turning his face to see her.

 

"Thank you so much, I'll cook dinner tonight and invite you over so you can eat with me and my dad" She tilted her head to one side while looking at him, smiling, truly thankful of how Jackson took care of her; one of her hands grabbed the handle to open the door and go out, but the male pouting at her made Minghao stop. "What?"

 

"Give me at least one kiss..." Jackson's pout grew bigger, acting childish.

 

"Alright, then" Minghao rolled her eyes but smiling at him, she leaned to kiss his right cheek gently. "Thank you, I'll see you later" And after saying that, she left the car, walking slowly to the entrace of the restaurant.

Until someone grabbed she by her wrist.

 

"We already talked about your stupid friends and how much it fucking annoys me to see them around you" Mingyu was grabbing her now by her forearm, squeezing it without any consideration.

 

"You are hurting me" She said, frightened at the sudden appearance of her boyfriend and how he was acting. "Mingyu, please let's not do this right now, my shift is about to start"

 

"We are going to do this now, because you know what? I'm tired" The taller male looked at her intently and shook his head "You are too pretty for your own good, and also too naïve and even stupid for not noticing how they look at you. I am here to protect you, I am your boyfriend but all you do is tease me, you want to make me jealous and I am not playing games with you"

 

"Oh, of course you are not, because being married and dating me is definitely not playing any kind of games" Minghao smacked Mingyu's hand in order to free his arm from his gripping. "I only love you, for God's sake, he just gave me a ride to my work"

 

"And later you are going to be riding his dick, do you think I am stupid or what?" Mingyu frowned, his voice louder than before.

 

"Mingyu please..." The red-haired girl took a deep breath and looked at his boyfriend right in the eyes with a pleading face "Let's not fight today, at least not right now, please. I will stop talking to Jackson If that's what annoys you, but please"

 

"I am trying to leave my wife for you and this is how you are paying back? You are fucking incredible, Xu Minghao, I can't believe it. I can't fucking believe you always screw things up like this, with your idiotic decisions and dumb thoughts, you know what? Do whatever the fuck you want" Mingyu raised both hands as if he was showing his surrender over the situation "Fuck him, fuck all of your stupid friends at once in a wild orgy, I don't even care, I'm done with this, I am supportive with you and your... stuff, and all you do is screw things up again and again, do whatever the fuck you want" And with that Mingyu simply turned his back and started walking away, clearly angry.

 

Minghao covered her face with both hands and a deep sigh left her lips, she was trying to gather herself so she could enter and work her ass off in her shift, but she started crying.

 

 

 

\---------

 

 

 

 

 

"So, Wonwoo's party" Seokmin said out loud, trying to gather his friend's attention.

 

"Have you even decided what you want to do?" Joshua turned his face to look at Wonwoo, who was sitting between him and Jun, Jihoon on his lap.

 

"I do have an idea, my mom will be out of the town because she needs to fix some papers about the divorce with my dad so we will basically have the entire house to ourselves" Wonwoo was resting his chin on Jihoon's shoulder, they were sitting in a little booth at a Mc Donald's, eating after classes.

 

Jihoon tilted his head to rest it against Wonwoo's head and sighed.

 

"Dude, he is spacing out a lot today, he even allowed you to sit him on your lap" Seokmin made a weird face at them, it was so... unusual.

 

"Leave him alone, he is my son, he has a soft spot for me" Wonwoo apprehensively hugged Jihoon and pouted, it made both Joshua and Jun laugh.

 

"You are totally forgetting who his real father is" Jeonghan's voice made everyone's head to turn and see how he arrived to where they were sitting, his fingers tangled with Seungcheol's.

 

"Shut up, Jun and I are basically the parents of this group, you are just our annoying son" Wonwoo let his tongue out and giggled, pressing a soft kiss on Jihoon's shoulder after.

 

"Ugh, you are all too gay, let me out of here" Jihoon made a disgust face and tried to escape Wonwoo's embrace, but the taller didn't let him go so easily.

 

"You look fresh" Jun raised both eyebrows, looking at both Jeonghan and Seungcheol, hair still wet and Jeonghan's even dripping a couple of droplets.

 

"Do you want to sit on my lap?" Soonyoung offered, there was only one spot free at the booth he didn't wanted neither of the two to be standing up awkwardly.

 

"Nah, babe, Seungcheol is already leaving, he has to pick his little sister up from school" Jeonghan smiled at his friend and shook his head, turning to face his boyfriend. "Take care, okay? Call me later"

 

"Take care too, please" Seungcheol pressed a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips and smiled, then he turned his head to look at Jeonghan's friends "Sorry to stole him all morning, I was missing him too much"

 

"No problem" Wonwoo shrugged while smiling at him "My birthday is this Friday, you should totally come if you have some free time, you can spend the night at my house, it's just us" He offered, after all, they liked Jeonghan's boyfriend, he was nice and cool.

 

"Ah, sure, I'll text you later so you can let me know if I need to bring anything" Seungcheol's smile widened "See you then guys, take care" And after pressing a quick kiss on Jeonghan's lips, he left the place.

 

"You are extremely clingy today" Jun raised one eyebrow after Jeonghan sat down next to him and gave him a hug, resting his head on his shoulder.

 

"Sorry" Jeonghan smiled, shrugging "Hormones, they turn me extremely gay" he later explained.

 

"You are very gay always" Seokmin giggled and it made both Jun and Joshua giggle too.

 

"Yeah but this time is different, they make gay deep inside, they make me sad and happy" Jeonghan tried to explain but he simply shrugged "I look at Seungcheol and wonder if I deserve someone so pure who loves me no matter what, and then I look at you guys... you are my family and I kind of want to cry because we are fucked up, I love you all too much and I wished I could do something else

than just existing to show you how grateful I am to have you around because you all deserve nothing but the best" His voice cracked and he hid his face on Jun's arm.

 

"Stop" Jun smacked the long-haired boy's head gently and then simply smiled. "Dumb, we love you, we are thankful you exist"

 

"I actually love him more" Wonwoo raised his voice, he was moving Jihoon's arms in order to form a heart with them but the shorter was trying to get himself free from that.

 

"Let me out of this gay shit show" Jihoon complained, turning his face to see Jun in an attempt to ask for help.

 

"Wonwoo is Chan invited to the party?" Soonyoung suddenly said, smiling as he looked at his cellphone, he was unusually quiet thanks to that device that apparently had all of his attention during all day at school.

 

"I told him earlier today that he could come if he wanted to, I kind of feel bad thought, are we leading this kid into the evil side of the path?" Wonwoo turned to see Jun, trying to look for an answer.

 

"Don’t think so, he looks like he is already evil" Jun answered, smiling at Wonwoo.

 

"My son is pure, you two" Jeonghan quickly raised his voice "You know I have been babysitting Chan for an entire year now and let me tell you something before you fuck up. He is an only child, if you are willing to have him around with us, which honestly it's cool for me, I really like him, you have to be very careful with his parents, they are utterly over protective with him"

 

"Why? He seems to be very wild for his age, I mean" Seokmin raised one eyebrow, he didn't quite understand were his friend wanted to say.

 

"Yeah, but his parents don't really know he smokes and does stupid things. He is kind of spoiled since his parents are rich, but the truth is they never really cared about Chan until a couple of years ago, like two maybe" Jeonghan was trying to remember the exact date but it was difficult, his mental retention was... short.

 

"What? Why?" Soonyoung looked interested about it, he even left his phone on the table to listen carefully at what Jeonghan had to say. Jihoon rolled his eyes and clenched his jaw, he was so annoying.

 

"He had an older sister but she died in a car accident. She was like his parents favorite and was their princess, so Chan was overshadowed by her, he kind of lived on his own but when she died all their parents attention focused on him" Jeonghan explained in a low voice "It annoys him, Chan is a rebel but his parents take very serious any kind of situations that may put Chan in danger" 

 

Everyone went silent and simply nodded their heads. If they wanted to hang out with Chan, they had to take care of the younger. 

 

 

 

 

"Well, kids, we are leaving, I have to go to Seungkwan's house to see if he is okay and also to let him know about the party" Wonwoo tapped Jihoon's sides lightly and pressed a kiss on his back. 

 

"What about texting him? Are we living in 1993 that you have to visit him to let him know?" Jeonghan was practically hanging from Jun's arm, trying to stop him from leaving with Wonwoo. 

 

"Ah, you missed the day... Hansol broke his fucking cellphone" Soonyoung sighed "That poor kid, he doesn't even want us to help"

 

"What?" Jeonghan looked at his friends in complete astonishment. 

 

"Yeah, he took Seungkwan's cellphone and stepped over it, he completely broke it" Joshua nodded, he seemed calm but his eyes showed he was angry deep inside.

 

"I can't fucking believe than sneaky son of a bitch" Jeonghan stood up from where he was sitting, getting angry.

 

"Don't even bother, Seungkwan said it was no big deal after I told Hansol I was going to break his fingers one by one" Jun shrugged, disappointed.

 

"That's why Jun and I are going to visit him at home, to see if he is really okay and invite him over to my house, hopefully he will change his opinion about us giving that idiot a good beating" Wonwoo stood up too after Jihoon left his lap, already taking his bag from the floor below the table.

 

"Good luck with that, Seungkwan is too pure to even let you start a fight with his bully about himself" Joshua sighed, that boy needed to do something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wonwoo and Jun were walking next to each other at a slow pace, heading to Seungkwan's house while talking about random things. Jun finger pointed at the house he remembered Seungkwan told him it was his, and they kind of hurried to arrive, just because they were already too tired from walking.

 

As they approached the house they realize someone was standing outside. Two people. Both of them wearing the school's uniform. 

 

Hansol and Seungkwan.

 

Wonwoo turned his head to look at Hansol but he didn't say anything, they just kept walking until they were close enough.

 

 

Seungkwan was holding his cellphone between his hands and Hansol was apologizing. Jun skeptically turned his head to see Wonwoo, he was looking at him with the same exact face, full of confusion. Was Hansol there trying to make things up after being a dick? Nah, it wasn't very Hansol-like.   
  


 

 

Just when they thought it couldn't get any weirder, Hansol leaned to kiss Seungkwan on the lips. 

 

Jun and Wonwoo's heart stopped beating as soon as they saw that action.

 

 

 

 

Hansol turned his face distractedly while smiling and his heart stopped too as he saw the two older students looking at him.

 

 

 

 

 **Fuck**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you in advance for reading and leaving kudos, also thank you so much for commenting, it makes me happy to read you guys and know your opinions, remember feedback is important for us authors!!
> 
> i love y'all my babiesssss


	9. FUCK YOU, TBH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan receives advice from Jun, Wonwoo wants his birthday gift and Jihoon and Seokmin are making bad choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe my boyfriend actually reads this just because I'm writing it even when he is not into the seventeen fandom? bless that child tbh, let's protect him *makes him slip into the diamond life* TITLE IS TEMPORARY UNTIL THIS LITTLE SHIT STOPS MESSING WITH ME
> 
> i actually just needed this because i am starting with the drama already, no more peace for my characters enough is enough

Hansol was gone in a matter of seconds, leaving Wonwoo, Jun and Seungkwan there in an awkward silence. 

"We just came to inform you my birthday is this Friday, you know..." Wonwoo started, shrugging slightly. "At my house, everyone is coming and staying so..." 

Seungkwan nodded, his gaze stuck on the ground, he couldn't lift his head, he was too embarrassed. 

"Take care" Jun commented before grabbing Wonwoo's hand and leave him there, still looking at the ground, his heart aching inside his chest. 

 

   
Nobody talked about it even when everybody knew it. 

"Seungkwan, you look sick" Jeonghan tilted his head to one side as he took a look of his friend, worried. 

"Thanks?" Seungkwan blinked in a very slow pace, looking at Jeonghan. 

"Did you go to the doctor? You even look skinnier than before" Jihoon commented, taking a look of the younger as he stole Wonwoo's water bottle to take a sip from it. 

A little smile formed on Seungkwan's lips and he simply nodded. "Aren't you going to say anything? I mean... I know you guys are not happy" 

"We have nothing to say, you know what we think about him" Joshua shrugged not even looking at Seungkwan, he was focused on eating his lunch. 

"But I hate when you just don't say anything" Seungkwan frowned a little "Sometimes I have questions and you don't answer them..." 

"We can't answer questions that are not asked out loud, excuse us from not reading your thoughts" Jun crossed his arms, he was the only one that looked at him with a bit of anger, but Seungkwan could tell it was mostly just because he was too worried about him. "For example, if you wanted to know Wonwoo and Jeonghan used to date each other you could just ask them, you know? It's not like a taboo thing here" 

"Hell yeah, I love this man over here" Wonwoo pointed at Jeonghan, who was sitting next to him, receiving a smile from the latter and a soft smack of his left arm "We are your friends kid, of course we are worried about you kissing and liking the biggest idiot that has ever existed on planet earth" 

"He is nice" Seungkwan said in a low soft voice, for himself mostly. "He cares about me" 

"Yeah? When? When he punches you and calls you names? Or when he pushes you and breaks your cellphone?" Jun arched one of his eyebrows, looking intently at the younger "Liking and loving someone is excellent but only when that person shows you it's reciprocal" 

"He does it, he tells me he likes me and hugs me" Seungkwan said sure, this time in a slightly louder voice, trying to convice his friends. 

"It doesn't count if it's only when you are alone" Seokmin stopped eating to look at him "You don't have to be all public with showing affection, but this is more about respect, Kwanie, he should at least respect you in front of others" 

Seungkwan turned his face to look at the table where Hansol was sitting with his friends, all of them laughing and being noisy as always. He sighed. He didn't think Hansol was that bad, not even when he suddenly turned his face and looked at him and showed him his middle finger, which caused all of Hansol's friends to burst into laughter again. 

 

 

 

"Just leave already, mom" Wonwoo was staring at his mother, who was taking her time to kiss everybody's cheeks and foreheads. His friends looked pleased at the affection his mother showed them, after all they all like her. 

"Nothing illegal, please" Wonwoo's mother stopped at the door to look at them with a pleading face. 

"We are good kids" Joshua said out loud, trying to look as if that comment hurted his feelings. 

"Please smack them with the bible if you need to, Joshua" The lady sighed and took her suitcase, reeady to leave. She left a big kiss on Wonwoo's cheek and smiled "Sorry I have to travel on your birthday, sweetheart, I promise when I come back we are going to do a proper party with hats and a cake" 

"Don't worry, mom, we are fine just watching movies and eating pizza, you know they don't ask for a lot, just enough space on the floor to sleep" Wonwoo shrugged and kissed his mother's cheek gently. He then left for a couple of minutes to help her get her suitcase in the taxi that was going to get her to the airport. 

He got back inside the house and closed the door behind him, smiling at his friends. 

"I brought the weed" Soonyoung said out loud, looking straight at Wonwoo. 

"Seungcheol is buying the alcohol" Jeonghan said out loud too. 

"Wait, but your mother said-" Seungkwan worriedly opened his eyes, glancing over his friends who apparently had lost their minds. 

"Mom just doesn't like the idea of us drinking when she is not around, the weed is a new addition, thought" Wonwoo kept his smile, walking to sit on the couch next to Seokmin. 

"Lee Chan is going to come in about an hour, his dad is going to drop him here so let's try to look natural and not suspicious" Seokmin speaked while he looked at his phone, he was apparently talking to the younger. 

"How come he is answering your messages and not mines" Soonyoung pouted. 

"Ugh, die" Jihoon mumbled, rolling his eyes, causing Jun to smile since he was the only close enough to hear him. 

"Seungcheol is coming in about an hour too, when his shift is over so let's try to chill until he arrives with the supplies" Jeonghan rested his head on Joshua's shoulder and yawned. 

"Hannie is ready to fall asleep" Joshua turned his head to look at Wonwoo, who in response put his index finger over his ear. 

Jun was the next to repeat Wonwoo's action, then Seokmin. Joshua followed, then Soonyoung and Jihoon, who smacked Seungkwan so he could do it too. Jeonghan opened his eyes after the sudden silence and looked at his friends. 

"Get down Mr. President!" Soonyoung screamed. 

"Fuck, no!" Jeonghan screamed too but in a matter of seconds everyone was over him, laughing "I hate you all, get off me!" 

"Yesterday you said you loved us" Wonwoo reminded him, still laughing, not very sure who he was squeezing under his body of who was squeezing him. 

"I lied, get off me!" Jeonghan screamed "I'm a flower boy, I'm delicate but I'll beat everyone's ass with those moves Seungcheol taught me, get off me!" 

All of them removed themselves from over Jeonghan, Seungkwan smiling but still confused about it. "What is this about?" He asked, tilting his head to one side, keeping his smile. 

 

"Just a little game Joshua taught us" Soonyoung shrugged, he was clearly having a lot of fun with just that game "The last one who does it is getting tackled" He explained as he motioned what was supposed to do "They tackled me at school once and that other time we tackled Seokmin at the park, it's dangerous but still fun" 

Seungkwan's smile widened.   
He didn't eat anything when the pizza arrived even thought he was dying to, he didn't drink soda either. He was still thinking about Hansol. 

 

Music was not blasting loudly out of a speaker but they were all laughing and clearly, they were not going to sleep soon. Jeonghan was sitting on Seungcheol's lap, holding a cup filled to the top with a mix of orange juice and vodka, he and his boyfriend were sharing, none of them planned to get actually drunk, they just wanted to chill a bit and enjoy it. Soonyoung and Chan were sharing a joint while Jihoon practically drank everything that got to his hands. Seokmin and Jun were sharing a cigarette while Wonwoo and Joshua casually drank from their cups looking at Seungkwan, who was singing and dancing, it was clearly his first time drinking, just one cup and he was starting to get into the mood. 

"No more alcohol for him" Wonwoo stood up to reach the cup from his friends, laughing while he shook his head "He is fun to see but tomorrow morning he is going to cry I swear" 

"I'll take him to your mom's room so he can sleep there" Jun offered, standing up too. 

"I'll give you a hand, man" Seokmin stood and walked to grab Seungkwan gently by his right wrist, pulling it to start walking upstairs. 

"I'm g-going to... to let Hansol know" Seungkwan mumbled, he sounded very sure about it. 

"Know what?" Jun asked him, guiding both of his friends to Wonwoo's mother's room. 

"That he can't play with me, he needs to... know" Seungkwan nodded to himself. 

Jun opened the door and guided him to the bed, where he made Seungkwan sit "You are a cigarette, Seungkwan" He said, looking into his friend's eyes "You let people step over you after they use you... Be like drugs, let them die for you" He whispered, smiling. 

Seungkwan stared at him in complete silence and nodded. 

"Wonwoo's mother told him that once, I think it can help you too" Jun explained, patting his head lightly "Now sleep at least one hour, if you feel better after you wake up come downstairs with us" 

 

But Seungkwan didn't went downstairs again. He stayed in the room all night, thinking about Jun's words until he actually fell asleep. 

 

Seokmin and Jun both went downstairs and continued to drink and talk with all of their friends, but Jun's mind was busy thinking about something else.  
Jun was sitting next to Wonwoo now, discreetly looking at him from time to time as his mind went one, two, three times around the same topic: people who approached Wonwoo with stupid intentions. It made him crazy mad.  
Wonwoo was someone who dragged attention from both boys and girls, it was a fact. Over the time Jun learned most of them came looking for Wonwoo as if the latter was some kind of attraction at a circus. They all wanted to 'experiment', to 'taste' or brag about having someone like Wonwoo by their side, someone who looked threating, rude and smoking hot dressed either boyish or girlish. "Are you a he or a she" he counts the times he has heard that question, while amazed eyes look at his slender and tall friend. Wonwoo always shrugs, he doesn't care really. Sometimes Wonwoo's answer is "none of them".  
Wonwoo is too polite and too goddamn good, he really doesn't care. But Jun does, he cares. 

 

"You are too quiet" Wonwoo rested his head on Jun's shoulder, looking at him, a bit worried. 

"I'm just... thinking" Jun shook his head, making it seem like it's nothing, but Wonwoo knows there's something in his head. 

"Then stop thinking, everything is fine" Wonwoo smiled at him, lifting his head to press a soft kiss on Jun's cheek. 

 

"We are going to sleep, Seungcheol works tomorrow, we will share bed with Seungkwan" Jeonghan stood up, holding his boyfriend's hand. 

"Sure, babe, rest well" Wonwoo nodded and then he looked at Joshua, who happened to be looking at them. "You know what? It's my birthday and there is something I still want" he whispered with a soft voice into Jun's ear. 

"What?" Jun turned his head to look at him, waiting for his answer. 

"We are going to sleep now, kids, please stop drinking" Wonwoo stood up and grabbed Jun's hand, looking at Joshua, offering his free hand to him. 

"You are not my mother" Jihoon whined, drinking from a cup that previously belonged to Jeonghan and his boyfriend. 

"I'll let that pass for now, tomorrow when you beg for breakfast I'll have my revenge" Wonwoo raised one eyebrow and smirked, Jihoon blew a kiss at his direction. 

 

Joshua, Jun and Wonwoo went upstairs and entered Wonwoo's room. The door was closed behing. 

"I want my birthday kisses" Wonwoo said, standing near the door, looking at the two boys. 

Joshua nervously turned to see Jun, who was just smiling at those words. He was not freaked out about kissing a boy, he was freaked out at the situation. Jun and Wonwoo clearly had something, they were his friends and he was jealous at it previously, but now he was... thinking about Jun too, the same way he thought about Wonwoo. He took a deep breath, was it bad? They didn't seem to mind. 

"You just had to ask for them" Jun answered but before doing anything he turned to see Joshua, trying to read any kind of negative expression in his face. 

"You... you don't mind?" Joshua asked out loud after a couple of minutes in silence. 

"You are here, right?" Jun asked this time, looking at him "You don't mind?" 

Joshua shook his head. "It's just... weird, do you like me?" 

Wonwoo laughed "Of course he likes you. Even if he didn't, I like you and he has to accept it" 

Jun nodded. "Now come on, let's make out" 

 

Wonwoo tilted his head to one side and his hands reached his pants button and zipper, undoing them to take his pants off. He was wearing pink lace panties below, his long, pale, slender thighs now exposed to both Joshua and Jun. "Just kisses and love bites, okay?" He repeated, leaving only his shirt on. 

 

 

   
Lights were off in the living room. Chan and Soonyoung were sharing one couch, cuddling after finishing the last joint. 

 

"Are you sure about this?" Seokmin asked in a whisper, looking at Jihoon through the darkness. A weak light barely entered from outside, it wasn't enough to let them see each other's expression but they were friends, they knew even if they couldn't see each other clearly. 

 

Jihoon took a deep breath and nodded. "Let's do it" He said with a weak voice. 

 

Seokmin smiled and cupped his friend's face with both hands, leaning to press a soft kiss on his lips.  
Both of them knew it wasn't a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deleted A l'ouest because I am currently editing it because i was not as fluffly as I actually wanted but it's coming back soon, so meanwhile I'll maybe upload another story that has been sitting at the back of my head, so yeah
> 
> let's talk i am friendly even if i don't look like it i swear insta @paradoxx420 
> 
> thank you guys so much for every kudo and comment, for every bookmark and for reading this, thank you so much my babies for reading my trashy story *insert hearts*


	10. CHAPTER 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol's heart stops for a moment. Minghao is not sure what's going on, Soonyoung is not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, cuties. Another update because I seem to be excited about this ?????
> 
> GOOD SWEET JESUS DIAMOND EDGE STARTED AND IT ENDED MY LIFE. CHINA LINE SONG AND DANCE IS MY EVERYTHING THE HURRICANE BLEW MY WIG AWAY WHAT IT'S LIFE WHAT IS HAIR ?????
> 
>  
> 
> I am a friendly ghost, let's be friends, insta @paradoxx420

“Tomorrow I need to go to a check up, but he is not answering my messages” Minghao was looking at her long nails, they were coated with a pastel yellow nail polish that made them stand out every time she ran her fingers through her long vibrant red hair. 

“Did he even tell you he is sorry about all the bullshit he said?” Seungcheol was smoking, they both were currently in their lunch time. 

“Of course he did it, but he is currently under a lot of stress because of his divorce” The tall girl sighed “I haven't seen him since the day before yesterday, and we only got to spend two hours together. He said he was going to go with me to my check up, he wants to know how hormones are working and how much more I have to wait to have the first surgery” 

“Is he going to pay for it?” Seungcheol looked at her, Minghao looked extremely sad. 

She nodded slowly “He said it, he wants me to have the breast surgery first. I told him that's why I'm working in the first place, to pay for it myself, but he wants me to quit this shitty job, he says he is going to give me all the money I need” 

“Are you going to quit?” The male furrowed, not happy to hear such thing. 

“No, I'm not quitting this job. Even if he gives me money for the surgery and everything, I have to work anyways, dad can't know I am still dating him” Minghao explained in a low voice, her eyes closed as she tried not to stress over the situation, but it wasn't easy. It was actually pretty difficult to keep her relationship as secret from her dad… they were very close, after all they only had each other.

Minghao's mother died when she was only 6 years old, from that day she and her father took care of each other. She was extremely thankful with her dad, he always did anything and everything for her, without hesitations; when they moved from China to a small city in South Korea looking for a better life quality a couple of months after her mother passed away, she knew she needed to speak her heart out loud. 

Her father took everything very well and right away Minghao stopped worrying about acceptance, because as long as her father was there to support her, nothing and no one else mattered. She then met Mingyu, the love of her life. 

Minghao never really fell before for any guy, she just had some little crushes here and there, but when she fell for Mingyu, she fell from a fucking helicopter without a parachute. 

 

“Everything is going to be okay” Seungcheol tried to smile but it was kind of difficult, he didn't liked Minghao's boyfriend. “Maybe he is working very hard in order to pay everything for you, that's why he doesn't answer your texts…” 

“I should trust him, right?” Minghao chuckled, she then shook her head, maybe she was just overreacting. 

Seungcheol nodded, trying to be positive. 

 

 

\------------

 

 

Hansol was waiting for Seungkwan outside the classroom, all of their classmates already left after spending the morning there.

 

“Can we talk?” Hansol stood at the door, not allowing Seungkwan to leave. 

“No” Seungkwan shook his head and tried to push him gently. 

“Please, let me talk to you” Hansol insisted. 

“I don't want to, now move” Seungkwan was trying very hard not to fall for him so easily. After Wonwoo's party he avoided Hansol as much as he could, texts, calls, everything. It was hard. “Seriously, move. I'm done with you, I don't know if you are using me to forget about Jeonghan or if this is some kind of fucked up game you just like to play, bullying me and then saying you have feelings for me, but I'm done” 

 

Hansol took a deep breath but he couldn't said anything. He just let Seungkwan go. 

 

 

 

“Please let's go, please” Jeonghan was trying to look cute, he seemed to be pleading over something to Jihoon. 

“Alright” Jihoon rolled his eyes and nodded.

“Where are you going, huh?” Seungkwan stood next to Soonyoung, who was currently looking at Jihoon, suspicious about something he didn't said out loud, but it was obvious. 

“We are going to Jihoon’s house, wanna come? We will order pizza and maybe just complain about our lives” Wonwoo smiled at him, his short black hair was nicely styled to one side, he looked so handsome. 

“Yeah, let's go” Seungkwan moved his gaze from Wonwoo to Hansol, who passed by their side, he looked angry. 

 

All of them took the bus to Jihoon’s house. Seokmin and him, were sitting together, talking in a low voice, too close from each other, Soonyoung was looking at them not very pleased with it. It was like that until they got out of it.   
Even while walking they were too close. And when it was time to sit in the living room he acted quickly, taking the place next to the shorter male. 

“Is something going on?” Soonyoung dared to ask right into Jihoon’s ear, while everybody else laughed about some stupid story Jun was telling.

“What do you mean?” Jihoon didn't even turned his face to look at him. 

“I don't know” Soonyoung kept looking at him, he wanted an answer even when he didn't quite knew the question.

“I'm going to steal some water” Seokmin stood from the couch, already walking to the kitchen.

“I'll give it to you” Jihoon stood up too and followed the taller into the kitchen.

 

Soonyoung frowned, his cellphone was vibrating inside his bag but he didn't cared, he just wanted to know what was going on with his two friends. 

Joshua looked at him and then looked to the door, where his two friends disappeared just a couple of moments ago. Something inside told him things were going to go awfully wrong.

 

“Fuck” Jeonghan rolled his eyes and quickly took his cellphone to answer to a sudden call. It lasted less than a minute but he stood up from his place on the couch. “I need to leave already, mom wants me to pick up my sister for her so”

“You are lame, Yoon” Jun complained.

“You want me to go with you?” Joshua asked, ready to leave if he needed to.

“Nah, baby, stay and eat pizza” Jeonghan shook his head and started blowing kisses at all directions, taking his bag from the floor to put one of the straps over his right shoulder. “Jihoon, I'm leaving but you are still not safe from me!” He raised his voice as he entered the kitchen to say goodbye to both Jihoon and Seokmin. He then left. 

 

\-------------

 

 

“But you promised...” Minghao chewed the inside of her cheeks as she tried not to be dramatic over Mingyu telling her he couldn't make it to the doctor's appointment tomorrow. 

“Yes, but I am busy, sweetheart” Mingyu’s voice was too low, as if he was trying not to be obvious about being on the phone with someone. He was almost whispering. 

“But Gyu… what if they give good news?” Minghao wanted really bad to go with him, she kind of needed some moral support and who better than her boyfriend?

“I will come pick you up after the appointment, then we will go eat something delicious and you will tell me if there are any good news” Mingyu offered.

“Okay… I lov-” 

Mingyu ended the call before Minghao could say anything.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

 

A very tired Seungcheol was arriving to his house after a long day at work. He got rid of his shoes and made his way upstairs to his room after saying hello to his parents who were comfortably watching tv in the living room. 

He entered his room and as he was about to take his clothes of to go take a shower his cellphone started to ring. It was Jeonghan. 

 

“Hey, handsome…” Seungcheol answered to the call, smiling to himself. 

“Oh my god, Seungcheol!” Jeonghan at the other side of the line screamed, he sounded so distressed, he sounded like he couldn't even breathe… his heart and his stomach sank.

“Jeonghan, what happened?” The older asked, anxious, out loud. “What happened?!”

“Oh my god! Oh my god!” Jeonghan kept screaming, he was crying “I stabbed him Seungcheol, there is blood everywhere” 

 

Seungcheol ran downstairs, and without cutting the call, he ran out of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I was going to rant about something that happened to me here but it was so stupid I totally forgot what the dude who tried to offend me said, so I'll just say random stuff. Shut up, Carl I get more girl than you will ever because I am a cool guy, see you in hell bye.
> 
>  
> 
> My boyfriend said I looked like a psychopath last chapter by telling you guys to protect him and how pure he was just to call him little shit a couple of lines later NOT EVEN SORRY SETH THE VIIIIIIIIII, YOU HEARING ME???????


	11. blood everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungcheol is ready to take the blame. Jeonghan is ready to make a big decision that will change his life forever.

Seungcheol ran as fast as his legs allowed him, in his mind all sort of ideas and plans were already being made, he was going to take the blame for whatever the fuck Jeonghan did if he needed to. The call ended with his boyfriend still crying and screaming and he didn't wasted time trying to call again. 

  
  


When he finally made it to the Yoon residence, after taking a freaking taxi because it didn't mattered how fast he ran, he was not going to do it without any kind of transportation, two police cars was outside and also an ambulance. Some neighbors were outside, gossiping, Jeonghan's mother and his sister were there too but his boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. 

  
  


“Seungcheol” Joshua approached the older, clearly worried, he was even shaking a little. 

  


“What happened, Hong? Where is he?” Seungcheol grabbed the shorter by the shoulders and gently shook him, he needed answers. 

  


“I don't know… Jeonghan is still inside, paramedics took his step-father into the ambulance but he is fine” Joshua’s eyes traveled from the Yoon residence to the ambulance and then he looked at Jeonghan. 

  


Seungcheol simply ran inside the house despite some officer's trying to stop him. He stopped in the middle of the living room, where blood stained the floor, a trail led to the kitchen and he followed it. 

As soon as he entered he saw Jeonghan, who was crying, two officers were asking him questions but he wasn't answering them, he was visibly too disturbed to say anything. 

  
  


“Jeonghan” Seungcheol called him, entering the kitchen, immediately walking to reach the younger, he needed to hold him. 

  


“You are here” Jeonghan cried, running to hug his boyfriend. Now that Seungcheol was close enough, he could see blood on Jeonghan's hands and face, his school uniform was stained too, he was still wearing it. “Please, please don't make him leave” He turned his face to see the officers, who were about to take Seungcheol out the scene. “I'll talk but only if he is here” 

  
  


It seemed like it was the only option.

  
  
  


Jeonghan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to stop crying. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He arrived the house with his little sister. His mother was going to stay at work for a couple of hours more so he got ready to spend the afternoon helping his sister with her homework. 

  


Jeonghan locked themselves inside his little sister’s room, just in case his step-father planned to arrive early and they both stayed there until his sister complained about being hungry. He got up from the bed and told her to stay there, he was not good at cooking but there were some apples and strawberries in the fridge, they could eat some of that until their mother came home to make dinner. 

  
  


Not even a single light was on, no one was home yet, apparently. He got into the kitchen and took the strawberries out of the fridge. 

With a small but sharp knife, Jeonghan started to slice strawberries into halves, maybe they could shower them with condensed milk or something like that. 

  


He then felt someone breathing right into his neck. His heart sank and he stopped doing what he was doing. Fuck.

  
  
  


“I got you, finally” That man's voice right into his ear made shiver. The man's hands quickly traveled under Jeonghan’s school uniform’s skirt and he fought to pull down his underwear while the teenager just stood still, frozen. “You were missing me too, right?”

  


Right before anything else could happened, Jeonghan took the knife again and turned to stab him on the left leg two times. 

  


The man screamed. He then pushed Jeonghan to the floor, throwing everything that was on the table to the floor. In a matter of seconds the man was again trying to pull Jeonghan's underwear with his left hand, while the right choked the teenager with anger. 

  


The long-haired boy coughed, smacking the man's chest with all his strength, his sight was getting blurry due to the lack of oxygen. His hands wandered around the floor, squeezing some strawberries… he squeezed something that made a small cut on his hand. 

  


Jeonghan stabbed him again, several times on the arm that was closer to his right hand. Only then he was able to run upstairs to grab his cellphone. He called Seungcheol. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Then my mother arrived and she started screaming, the call ended. I assume my mother was the one who made the call to the police” Jeonghan hid his face on his boyfriend's chest, his voice was weak. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeonghan didn't go to school the next day. 

His step-father was going to jail.

  
  
  


His friends were outside his house as soon as classes finished. Seungcheol was there too, and Minghao, because she was so worried when his friend told him what happened. 

  


Nobody really knew what to say, but they hugged Jeonghan for a long period of time and it was the only thing the long-haired boy needed. Knowing they were there was enough.

  
  
  
  


“You two look cute together” Minghao was looking at Jeonghan's cellphone screen, it was a picture of he and Seungcheol. Currently both of them were talking while Seungcheol, Jihoon, Jun and Joshua were talking near the door. They were the only ones still there, apparently Jun’s father was going to pick him and Jihoon to take him home, and they were waiting. 

  


“Thank you” Jeonghan smiled shyly “I still think he is too good for me sometimes” 

  


“Bullshit, you two are good for each other” Minghao nodded, looking at the younger. She felt relieved to know him, even when they were not  enough, they could relate to each other and somehow it made them feel less alone just by spending a couple of hours together. 

  


“He is too good. He stayed awake all night with me, he made sure I was okay before he left at nearly 6 am, then he went to work and came back… he is spending the night here. I don't know what I did to deserve and angel” Jeonghan kept his little smile and sighed. Not that he was ungrateful, he just sometimes felt he did so little for his boyfriend in comparison to what his boyfriend made for him.

  


“It's because he loves you, he doesn't mind doing all those things for you, he loves you more than anything… take care of his heart, that is enough” Minghao lightly patted Jeonghan's head. 

  


The younger nodded. “How is your treatment going? You look flawless _ ,  _ by the way, this hair color makes you look so expensive and nice” he laughed a little, but he was being sincere. 

  


“Oh, stop it” The red-haired girl shook her head, laughing “It's going in the right direction, I feel like I'll be there where I need to be very soon” She explained, smiling “What about you? Do you plan to take any treatment soon”

  


Jeonghan shook his head “I'm fine like this” he immediately looked at his boyfriend “I used to feel miserable when I was younger, you know? Every time I got my period I wanted to kill myself… you know how is this, being stuck somewhere you can't escape or simply leave… I think somehow I got used to it, I am more comfortable now than before, definitely, it's because of Seungcheol” 

  


Minghao tilted her head to one side, listening carefully to what the younger said. 

  


“He doesn't say it out loud but I know he wants to have a family when the time comes. He would never ever tell it to me, never, but I can see it in his eyes when he is around little kids” Jeonghan sighed “I don't want to go under treatment because I want to give him a family” 

  


Minghao's eyes widened in surprise. It was such a big decision for a sixteen year old boy, but there was no doubt in Jeonghan's words or eyes, he seemed sure about it. 

  


“He does anything and everything for me… I think I can give him that” The long haired boy shyly looked away to the floor and sighed “It's super gay, shit. Our kids will probably be bullied at school for having two dads but Seungcheol can beat their asses so I think it's okay”

  


“You are an angel too” The older girl smiled and leaned to hug Jeonghan “I'm so happy you got each other” She kept her smile but her heart hurt. “I'm leaving now, I have to work tomorrow” She stood up from the couch.

  


“Take care, okay? Send Cheol a text when you arrive home” Jeonghan stood up from the couch too and walked to the door. 

  


Jun's dad was just arriving. 

  
  
  


“Take care Hannie” Jihoon hugged the taller tightly before getting into the car. 

  


“I will” Jeonghan nodded his head. 

  


“Don't go to school if you don't feel like it” Jun kissed his cheek before looking at his eyes.

  


“Okay, okay… take care” Jeonghan smiled.

  
  


“You take care too, handsome” Jun took Joshua’s chin and carefully placed a soft kiss on his lips, one that the slightly shorter male returned with another small peck, before getting into the car. 

  
  
  


After everyone was gone and only Jeonghan and Seungcheol were sitting on the couch, in silence, hugging each other, that was when the younger sighed deeply. His boyfriend gave him a confused look but Jeonghan only shook his head. 

  


“It's been crazy… I still feel awkward. And bad, but I guess my survivalist instinct went on. Mom it's sad, she said she is extremely sorry but it's not her fault” 

  


“It's not your fault either, so don't worry too much. But if you feel anxious over something I can take you to a therapist or a psychologist, I'll pay for it”

  


“My sugar daddy at his best” 

  


“I'm serious, you dumb, all I want for you is to be okay, I know is hard but… we will overcome all difficulties” 

  


“Can we get a couple tattoo with that saying?” 

  


“We can do whatever you want” 

  
  
  


Jeonghan's cellphone rang two times. It was a text message for sure, so he just took the device to read it, maybe it was something for her from one of his friends, who seemed to be still concerned. 

  
  
  
  


**wanwan** : 

Seungkwan is at the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the friendly ghost, instagram @paradoxx420 let's talk! *has no friends lmao*
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you all for reading, commenting and leaving kudos. 
> 
> More drama is about to start so don't even make plans about being happy yet.
> 
>  
> 
> Also of you notice I made this into a part of a series, that's because i won't stop shoving my non-cis seventeen characters down your throats, sweethearts. A new story is coming soon because I am basically trash.


	12. surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan finally opens up about what's haunting him, Minghao finds out something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there cuties! 
> 
>  
> 
> I started a new fanfic that is part of the series "seventeen as non-cis characters" if you are interested, only one chap up but i'll work on it, be prepared for my angsty-ass to start another depressing story heheh
> 
> My boyfriend already started telling the seventeen member's apart, I'm so proud. (?) I have to mention he said to me the last chapter was an emotional roller coaster, was it like that for you too? (?) BE PREPARED THEN FOR WHAT'S NEXT.
> 
>  
> 
> as you already know, i'm a friendly ghost, let's talk about cool stuff i promise i'm not as lame as i actually look (i am, i am in fact very lame sorry) instagram @paradoxx420

Jeonghan crossed the corridor dodging other students, making his way to the end of it, he was furious. He entered the classroom and spotted who he was looking for. "I don't know what happened" He grabbed Hansol by the collar of his school's shirt with both hands, making the younger gasp in surprise by the sudden actions of the older "but I know it's your fault and I swear to God Hansol, I swear to God, if there is something bad with Seungkwan I'm going to fucking crush your skull" 

"Jeonghan" Joshua called his friend and carefully placed his hands over Jeonghan's "Calm down, please. You are going to get in troubles if you punch him and it doesn't even worth it, Wonwoo said he is fine" 

Jeonghan released Hansol from his grip and walked away, Joshua following him. They were all worried but it was 7 in the morning, fighting didn't seem like a good way to start the day and getting detention after classes didn't seem like a good way to spend the afternoon, no when they already made plans to go see Seungkwan. 

 

 

"I talked to his mom last night, I called to know if he was okay, yesterday he was not feeling well and I told him to go home instead of coming with us to visit you" Wonwoo explained, looking at Jeonghan, who was sitting next to him. "He looked sick and his mom told me he fainted so they took him to the hospital, by the time classes are over he is going to be at home so we can go visit him" 

"She didn't say anything else?" Joshua asked, he was visibly worried. 

"No, she didn't but I don't really think Seungkwan is sick, I told Jun this before but it was just an assumption, now I'm sure" Wonwoo turned his head to look at Jun who just nodded in response. 

"Wonwoo thinks something else is going on with our Seungkwannie" Jun added, after a couple of moments in silence. 

"I bet It's Hansol's fault" Jeonghan said out loud, eyebrows furrowed. 

"Maybe" Jun nodded again, crossing his arms. 

"Let's try to cheer him up" Seokmin sighed "When we arrive let's not just shoot questions at him, he is feeling bad and we don't want him to think we are angry at him, let's instead cheer him up, maybe he will talk to us if he feels less awkward about the situation" 

"Seokmin is right, maybe he will feel more comfortable if we just allow him to tell us when he is feeling like it and not by cornering him" Jihoon nodded, placing his left hand on one of Seokmin's shoulder, he was sitting next to the taller. 

Soonyoung looked at them and then he quickly turned his head to look at Wonwoo. Jeonghan tilted his head a little to one side, lifting one of his eyebrows, he didn't like how suspicious everything seemed. 

 

\----------- 

 

  
"So, is he feeling better?" Minghao was sitting on the floor, her head and back resting against the wall, it was her break and she was very tired, the restaurant was full all morning. 

"Yeah, but maybe I'll go sleep at his house again, I want to make sure he doesn't have like... nightmares and things like that, it afraids me, I already suggested him a psychologist or anything he needs" Seungcheol nodded, sitting next to the tall girl. 

Minghao nodded but she stayed quiet, her hands on her lap, squeezing the apron that was tied at her little waist. 

"Mingyu is not answering your texts again?" The male asked, looking at her out of the corner of his eyes. 

"It's not that" She shook his head and shrugged "I have something in my mind and it kind of haunts me" 

"What? Tell me, come on" Seungcheol turned his head to look at the red-haired girl and smiled, he wanted her to know everything was right. 

"Mingyu is going to leave his wife soon and I'm happy, but at the same time I feel bad... I got in the middle of a marriage, they kind of were in love at first but Mingyu's wife only cares about money" Minghao explained, not looking at the male "Maybe there was a way for them to fix things but then he met me" 

"You can't blame yourself for that, Hao. They already were having troubles, if Mingyu decided to divorced after one year and a half of cheating his wife with you, it's because he doesn't feel anything for her anymore. He had many opportunities to stop dating you but he kept coming back to see you, his wife had many opportunities to stop being a bitch and she is still a bitch, huh?" Seungcheol laughed and Minghao laughed too, nodding. 

"You are right, I should stop thinking about that, my man knows what he wants and he wants to leave her and marry me" A big smile formed on Minghao's plump lips. "He gave me money yesterday and told me to buy nice clothes because he wants me to go with him to a nice restaurant this weekend" 

"See? He is spoiling you and everything, think about that" 

"Chen Xiao is coming to the mall with me later today, I thought about inviting you and Jeonghan but you guys need time alone, maybe some other day" 

"How come all your other friends are Chinese too? How do you even find Chinese friends here? Do you live in like a neighborhood full of Chinese people here in Korea?" 

"Well... is a Chinese community" 

"And how did you even find that Chinese community? You arrive to Korea and the Chinese people that live here greet you there and take you to the Chinese community?" 

"Shut the fuck up, you racist dick" Minghao started laughing, smacking Seungcheol's arm. 

"I'm being serious, Hao! Tell how come all the Chinese people agree to live there" Seungcheol kept teasing her, trying not to laugh. 

"Maybe we are planning to take over the world by spreading across the world in little Chinese communities" Minghao wiggled her eyes, biting a smile back. 

Seungcheol started laughing. "I swear to God, Xu Minghao, the Korean embassy is going to know about this, I already know your plan" 

"They will never believe you, I'll talk in Chinese to them, I'll pretend I don't know you" 

 

\----------- 

 

 

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Boo, is Seungkwan feeling better? I hope we don't disturb any of you by visiting him" Jun was talking politely to Seungkwan's mother, smiling and being charming, just what he did better. 

"He is upstairs in his room, come in, feel at home, I bet he will feel better now that you are him" The lady smiled back at Jun and then, at every one of his son's friends. "I thought Hansol was going to come too, he said he was going to be here after school" 

"Jeonghan stopped on his way to the stairs to look back at the lady. "Hansol?" 

"Yes, he often comes to visit, he is such a nice kid" The lady kept her smile while talking about that little bitch. 

"I think Hansol is going to come later today, I heard their group got a lot of homework" Wonwoo hurried to take Jeonghan's left wrist softly and gently pulled him to the stairs. 

The lady nodded and everybody hurried to go upstairs to their friend's room. 

Joshua knocked the door twice, softly, and then he opened it, revealing a half asleep Seungkwan laying on bed, covered with blankets up to his neck, the air conditioner made the room very cold. 

"Hey, pal, how are you feeling?" Soonyoung hurried to sit at the edge of the mattress, looking at the younger. 

"I'm fine, mom and dad overreacted" Seungkwan rolled his eyes and shook his head "I just fainted, it was no big deal" 

"What did the doctor say?" Wonwoo sat at the edge of the mattress too, waiting for an answer. 

Seungkwan shrugged and stayed in silence, not looking at them. 

"Is this because of Hansol?" Jeonghan hurried to ask, he was ready to beat that idiot's ass. 

"Guys, let's just chill for a moment, I think Seungkwan is tired and he needs to relax after an entire night at the hospital. Maybe it's just nothing to worry about, maybe it's that virus he had a couple of weeks ago, you know? He was sick and throwing up all the time" Seokmin tried to make his friends remember what they talked about. 

"What is actually going on, Seungkwan?" Jun looked at him intently, raising one eyebrow. 

Seungkwan took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I have always been a fatty, you know? Even when I lived back in Jeju I was, and it was okay but... when I came here and I started to like Hansol I became self-conscious. He is handsome and popular and I am totally the opposite, one day he and his friends started calling me 'piggy' and it kind of stuck in my head so, I started dieting... but it was not enough so, I started throwing up and skipping meals too and I kind of started losing weight" He opened his eyes and tried his best to smile "He only treats me well when we are alone and after thinking about it I decided I didn't want that so, I stopped talking to him and started avoiding him as much as I could, that, to be honest, made me sad and I kind of stopped eating at all, that's why I fainted yesterday" 

"I knew, I'm going to kill him" Jeonghan was angry again. 

"Leave it, Jeonghan, he's not worth it. I'm trying to get over him and his stupid actions and words but it's hard" Seungkwan shrugged. 

"You need to know you are an amazing person, Kwannie" Soonyoung took both of the latter's hands and squeezed them "We love you, and maybe it's not the same as the person you like liking you back, but we care about you" 

"Don’t try to adjust yourself to other's likings and opinions because everyone is different, you are charming the way you are" Jihoon spoke in a soft voice, certainly a bit ashamed of being too cheesy. 

"You have the best cheeks I have ever seen in my entire life" Jeonghan smiled, sure about his words, walking towards the younger to squeeze his cheeks gently. 

"You need to promise us you are not keeping those bad habits, please" Joshua looked at the younger with a serious face, waiting for his answer. 

"I will try my best" Seungkwan nodded, smiling whole-heartedly, his friends were the best. 

 

 

\---------- 

 

 

Minghao and his friend, Cheng Xiao, were already enjoying their afternoon going from one store to another inside the big mall hear the red-haired girl's workplace. They texted each other all morning and agreed to meet there, Minghao changed clothes after finishing her shift and went immediately there.   
They were now eating ice cream as they went across the huge fancy mall. It was placed near a very wealthy area of the city so it wasn't really a surprise that it was full of people carrying shopping bags just as her. 

"So, are you going to buy some nice underwear for your boyfriend or what?" Cheng Xiao asked in a low voice, giggling at the idea. 

"Oh my god, stop, bitch" Minghao smacked her softly with her left hand and tried to act serious but they both ended up laughing. "I guess I can give a look, right?" 

"I knew it, dirty bitch" Cheng Xiao laughed again, almost choking with chocolate-flavored ice cream. 

"I want something pink, Mingyu really likes how that color looks on me" Minghao shrugged, keeping a small smile on her lips. "I can let my man pick the color, he is the one paying for it after all" 

"Let's go upstairs to the next floor, there is a store full of beautiful underwear and they even sell body lotions and a lot of stuff to make yourself look like an expensive fancy-ass bitch" 

"Just what I want to look like" 

 

Both girls laughed and walked towards the escalator, placing themselves on it, going upstairs at a terribly slow pace. Once they got off it, Cheng Xiao hurried to guide her friend to the store she was talking just minutes ago. They dodged people, that floor was even fuller than the one they were previously on, but it made sense, upstairs the restaurants were located. 

Minghao stopped to throw the empty little foam cup were her ice cream was given to her in a trash bin placed near the entrance of one of the restaurants, Cheng Xiao threw her empty foam cup there too. 

"It's the one there" Cheng Xiao pointed the store with her index finger, the name was written in pink with big letters, it was difficult not to see it. 

Minghao nodded and turned her head to look at her friend again but her eyes wandered to a tall man a couple of feet away from them. She tilted her head to one side to see him better. 

It was Mingyu. 

She furrowed her eyebrows. 

He was accompanied by a young-looking woman with long, light brown hair. Minghao's eyes wandered over her... her belly was huge.   
She was pregnant. 

Mingyu kneeled down there, in the middle of the mall surrounded by people to kiss that huge belly and he smiled widely, caressing the woman's belly carefully with both hands. 

Minghao's heart sank, she started shaking, tears were already falling down over her cheeks. 

"Hao, what's wrong?" Cheng Xiao was looking at her friend, worried, scared at the sudden change of her mood. 

Minghao took her cellphone out her bag and starting pressing numbers to call her boyfriend, unable to stop crying. He looked how he patted his pockets and took his cellphone out of onw of them; he looked at the screen and then looked at the woman, mumbling something to her before taking the call. 

 

"Hey, babe" He answered in a low voice. 

"Hey... are you busy?" Minghao asked, trying to hold back her urge to sob and cry louder. 

"Yeah, babe, I am currently discussing some business things here at work. Can we talk later? I promise I'll visit you tonight" Mingyu was looking at the woman, covering his mouth even when she couldn't probably hear him. 

Minghao's free hand turned into a fist. "My man, always working hard" She whispered, smiling bitterly, she was already walking towards the older male. 

"I work hard so my princess is happy" Mingyu said proudly "I'll call you lat-" But before he could finish saying that, Minghao was already in front of him. 

She was shaking, not able to hold her tears back anymore; she looked at him intently and put her phone again into her bag, then she shook her head and passed by his side, being followed by Cheng Xiao.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK, I AM SO THIRSTY FOR YOUR COMMENTS I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND HE SAID I MIGHT DIE IF I DON'T RECEIVE YOUR COMMENTS TELLING ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS DON'T LET ME DIE LISTEN TO MY DOCTOR I HAVE A WEAK HEART


	13. going downhill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeonghan needs a favor, Minghao's heart is broken, Soonyoung tells the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You don't have any idea of how grateful I am about all of you reading this and leaving comments, seriously i might actually cry over that fact you guys are so cool and i deeply appreciate it, we, authors, always want to know what you readers think, even if it's just a little opinion over something, we are eager to know. Thank you guys so much, ugh my heart is melting i'm too soft and gay wtf

Jihoon was a moaning mess, his hands gripping Soonyoung's shoulders as hard as he could while the taller rocked his hips against him, holding his legs at both sides of his body, moaning into Jihoon's ear.  

 

"Fuck" Jihoon closed his eyes and threw his head backwards on the pillow, his back arching a bit as he came. He started panting and turned his head to one side when Soonyoung tried to kiss him on the lips; they've been fucking for two weeks but no kisses, no after cuddling, no nothing other than just sex. 

 

"Okay" Soonyoung pulled away and sat at the edge of the mattress, taking the condom off his dick to carefully throw it in the trash can next to Jihoon's bed, the red one resting under his nightstand. "Do you to smoke?"  

 

"What you have?" Jihoon asked, sitting on the bed, not worried about cleaning himself first, after all he was at his own house, he could take a shower later.  

 

"No weed until next week" Soonyoung answered, reaching his bag from the floor to rummage into it, taking the cigarettes out of it.  

 

"Lame" The shorter male complained, but he took a cigarette anyways, lighting it with Soonyoung's help. "You don't have anything else to do?" He asked, raising one eyebrow as he saw the taller lighting himself a cigarette to later lay on his side.  

 

"You want me to leave? I can leave"  

 

"Do whatever you want" 

 

"Why are you always so mad at me?" 

 

Jihoon looked at Soonyoung and sighed, shrugging.  

 

Soonyoung rolled his eyes. "I mean, Jihoon, if something is wrong you can tell me, like the fucking scars in your wrists, what is going on?" 

 

"You are seriously annoying" The shorter extinguished his cigarette on his nightstand, not caring about damaging it. "Don't you have to go to like, I don't know, check on Chan or something?"  

 

"I'm being serious, Lee Jihoon, and I don't know why you suddenly bring him to the conversation, Chan is a cool kid and he has done nothing wrong to earn your stupid nonsense hate"  

 

"What do you want me to fucking tell you, Soonyoung?" He turned to face the latter "That depression is suddenly being too much for me? That my mom and I are having a terrible time to make it to the end of the month and anxiety is eating me on the inside because of that?" Jihoon made a pause and laughed, he shook his head "That I suddenly feel like cutting because it actually hurts way less than all of the other shit that is going on in my life?"  

 

"Jihoon..." Soonyoung looked away, his heart started hurting at the latter's word "You know you can tell us everything that is going on, we are going to support you and help you, we are your friends..." 

 

"No, to be honest Jeonghan is having a way worse time than me" 

 

"That doesn't mean you are not allowed to have a bad time or be depressed, Jihoon" The taller looked at him furrowing both eyebrows "Just because someone else is having problems that make yours seem little doesn't mean you don't have the right to be depressed, everybody has their own shit, don't cancel yourself like that" 

 

"Just leave already" 

 

"I'm being serious, we love you... I can leave your house but I'll keep coming back, and it doesn't have anything to do with us getting into your bed, I truly, deeply care about you. Even if you push me away, Jihoon, even if you are mean and don't tell me why you suddenly hate me so much but agree with this fuck buddies thing... it's because I love you, Jihoon" 

 

The shorter male turned to see his friend, feeling his heart pounding fast inside his chest. "What?" 

 

"I love you"  

 

Soonyoung shrugged and got up from bed, he expected that awkward long silence after his confession. Inside his chest his heart was hurting, but there was no way he could hold it back anymore, not with Jihoon playing games like those with him. He got dressed and without looking back, he left the shorter's house. 

 

 

 

\---------- 

 

 

 

Seungcheol knocked softly at the door in front of him, waiting patiently after for someone to open it. He heard steps approaching and later, a tall man with black hair opened the door. 

 

"Ah, I'm sorry I came without calling first, Mr. Xu...  Is Minghao home? I'm a bit worried about her" The younger male started speaking, smiling awkwardly at the man. 

 

"She is here" The man moved to let Seungcheol enter the house "She is in her room, she is not feeling well, that's why she has been absent from work, but I think you can improve her mood" He looked at the clock sitting on one of the walls of the living room and then looked at the young again "I have to leave already, I took my lunch time to come home to see her, I left food for her on the counter, tell her to eat at least a little bit of it" 

 

"I will, Mr. Xu" Seungcheol nodded "Don't worry, I'll stay with her until you return from work" 

 

"Thank you so much" The man bowed and he hurried to get out of the house. 

 

 

Seungcheol walked directly to Minghao's room and knocked the door a couple of times but after not getting an answer, he decided to enter.  

 

"Hao... it's me" He said in a low voice, closing the door behind him. He walked to the bed where the tall girl was laying, covered with blankets from head to toe even if the weather was warm. "Hao... what's going on?"  

 

No answer. 

 

"Hao... I'm worried about you, you don't answer my texts or my calls, no one at work knows what is happening" He gently caressed the girl over the blankets and stopped when he heard her sobbing. "Hao?" He pulled the blankets gently. 

 

Minghao looked paler than usual, her long hair was tied up in a messy bun, her eyes swollen probably due to crying, she looked... not like herself at all. "I'm so stupid" She sobbed, covering her face with both hands. 

 

"Why would you say that? You are a smart, pretty girl" Seungcheol immediately shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows at her words. 

 

There was a long pause, only her crying could be heard. "I saw him..." She started, taking her hands off her face to look at her friend "I saw Mingyu with his wife and they don't see like they are going to divorce soon" She closed her eyes and covered her face with both hands again. 

 

Seungcheol took a deep breath. "That fucking idiot..." He murmured, already angry. 

 

"He lied to me, Cheol. He lied to me and I was so stupid I actually believed he was going to leave her..." Minghao sat on the bed to look at her friend better "But he won't, he won't leave her" Minghao made a pause and smiled, the sadness was so clear in her eyes "You know why? Because I am never going to be the woman he needs" She whispered as she broke into tears. 

 

"Don't say that, Hao, Mingyu is just and idiot and he doesn't realize how you-" 

 

"No, Seungcheol, no. I saw them, his wife is pregnant..." The tall girl's voice broke and she covered her mouth and shook her head, thick tears rolling down her cheeks "I can't fucking compete with that, no matter how hard I try, I can't beat that. I just fucking assumed he didn't wanted a family because... it's obvious, right? It's obvious I can't give him that" Minghao sobbed and hid her face on her knees "All that shit that they didn't even share bed... it looks like they have been hella doing it. And I love him so much... I love him so much, with all my heart... God I want to die..." 

 

Seungcheol pulled the slender girl into a thigh hug and gently caressed her back, she was shivering between his arms, bawling.  

 

 

 

 

\-------- 

 

 

 

 

Jeonghan took a deep breath and closed his eyes, brushing his long hair backwards with both hands, stressed. He took his cellphone out of his bag and started texting Seungcheol, but he erased the text before sending it, then he went to look for Wonwoo's contact in his phone. 

 

 

 

 

 **hannie:**   

i need a favor  

 

**wanwan:**

shoot 

 

**hannie:**

come with me to buy a pregnancy test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't forget about the others, just wait for it, hehehehe
> 
> as i said before, guys, i literally live to read what you have to say so don't hesitate to leave your comments! I also updated GARDEN, if you haven't read it please give it a try! 
> 
> i love yall so much ughhh lemme just squeeze your cheeks my cuties AND AGAIN WOAH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, COMMENTING, LEAVING KUDOS AND BOOKMARKING.


	14. drowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My boyfriend says he is Jihoon because he is tiny and full of rage ????
> 
>  
> 
> I cry everytime I read your comments I am not even kidding at this point y'all so precious, y'all my babiessss

“Minghao is so depressed… it actually breaks my heart, she doesn't deserve a man like that, Mingyu is such an asshole. I told her, but she didn't listen” Seungcheol was ranting, he was still so angry about his friend being that down for a complete idiot. 

“It's because she loves him, Cheol” Jeonghan murmured, tilting his head to one side as he looked at his boyfriend “Nothing was going to change her mind until she got to see it with her own eyes” 

“Yeah, I know… and I don't want to say I am happy about it, but at least she finally realized what kind of an idiot she was dating” Seungcheol took a deep breath.

“Cheol” Jeonghan called him in a soft voice “What kind of plans do we have for the future?” He asked, chewing the inner part of his left cheek.

“Let me see… be happy?” The older smiled at his boyfriend and shrugged “You know I am saving money for college, I really want to go to Seoul to study at that nice university and I want you to come with me, that was the plan, right?”

Jeonghan nodded and with both hands he combed his hair out of his face, obviously nervous. 

“Is there something wrong?” The older asked, now more aware of how impatient the other looked. “Something happened? You don't want to come with me to Seoul?”

“Cheol…” The long-haired boy looked at him and then looked away, trying to chill a bit. “I want to tell you something but before saying it I want you to keep in mind all our future plans, all the things we have been planning to do, okay?” 

“What's going on, Yoon Jeonghan?” Seungcheol called him by his full name, that was a bad sign. He was getting impatient too.

“My period is delayed... almost three weeks” He finally said, not looking at his boyfriend. With his left hand he reached his bag, that was laying on the floor next to the couch on Seungcheol's living room, and rummaged through his stuff, taking out a brand new pregnancy test. 

Seungcheol opened his mouth to say something but he closed it again, he only looked at his boyfriend, now understanding why all of the sudden he asked those questions.

“Think about all the plans we have” Jeonghan said, leaving the package on his lap “I do want to give you a family but not now, not like this, it's just not the right timing”

“Jeonghan, are you seriously telling me this?” Seungcheol looked troubled, his eyes wide opened, eyebrows furrowed. “What if something happens to you? I can't let you do such thing!”

“There's this pill I can take and nothing bad is going to happen, I am just going to bleed like I normally do while I'm on my period, Wonwoo asked the lady at the pharmacy-”

“So you told Wonwoo before you told me?” The older clenched his jaw and crossed his arms. 

“I was afraid of fucking going alone there!” Jeonghan raised his voice, pissed at the sudden attitude of the latter.

“You could just tell me! I am your boyfriend, I would have gone there with you!” 

“The fucking test is new, Choi Seungcheol, please stop being such a bitch right now, the least thing I need is you mad at me over the fact I asked one of my best friends to come with me to buy a pregnancy test. I was scared, okay? And I am still fucking terrified, cut me some fucking slack because I am about to start crying” Jeonghan smashed both fists on his lap and the box fell to the floor.

Seungcheol took the box from the floor and holded it with both hands, breathing deeply. “Go do it” he murmured, handing the box to the younger without looking at him.

“If this turns out negative then everything will be fine” Jeonghan started, getting up from the couch, taking the box from boyfriend's hand “But if this turns out positiv-”

“Don't say it” Seungcheol interrupted him, he shook his head.

“I promise you, Cheol, I promise you that later we will have a family. We need to be better prepared, I need to take therapy or something so my mind is less fucked up, I need to get used to the idea of giving birth... “

“Just go do it, Jeonghan” Seungcheol interrupted again, this time he looked at him “Whatever the result is… it's your body, so it's your choice” 

 

Jeonghan nodded and walked to the bathroom.

 

He sat next to Seungcheol after he walked out of the bathroom and both of them waited in complete silence.

 

It was negative. 

 

 

\---------

 

 

Joshua bit his lower lip and thought about sin. He didn't want to be a sinner… it just kind of happened. 

 

“Aahh…” Joshua's back arched slightly, his eyes closed as pleasure started to take over his body. “God, fuck” 

Jun smiled, not interrupting his actions. “Sinner” he said in a whisper, kissing Joshua's ear and breathing heavily at it. 

“I regret nothing” Joshua answered, his hands caressing the taller's chest “Move” he asked in a low voice.

Jun didn't hesitate and started moving his hips slowly, his hands holding the latter's slender legs. “Mnhh, Josh…” he moaned to his ear, his voice sent chills down to the shorter's spine.

 

The door suddenly opened and both of them froze in place. 

 

“Well, looks like I’m missing all the fun” Wonwoo entered the room and closed the door behind, locking it this time. Jun's parents were not home but they better be prepared. 

“Where were you?” Jun asked, his voice strangled with lust as he kept moving his hips slowly. His hands squeezing Joshua's thighs.

“It will kill your erections, we'll talk about it later” Wonwoo shook his head and started undressing, leaning to kiss Jun's back gently. “Look at Joshua, he looks so goddamn cute moaning under you” He slipped his left hand to stroke Joshua’s dick softly.

Joshua moaned louder and he had to bit his lip. 

 

\----------

 

 

“Have a nice day at work” Minghao tried her best to smile at her father and she hugged him tight “I love you”

“I'll come to eat with you, okay?” The tall chinese man hugged his daughter back and kissed the top of her head “I love you too, my sunshine” He hated so much to see his little sunflower down like that.

“Don't worry, I'll be fine, take care, okay?” She hugged him for a couple of moments before actually letting him go. 

The man closed the door and Minghao sat on the couch hugging her thighs, her chin pressed against her knees as she watched the tv without actually paying attention to it. At least she was now out of her bedroom. 

And she got enough strength to take a shower, her long hair was still wet and she was sure it was going to leave red stains on the white t-shirt she was wearing along with short pink pajama shorts. She sighed. 

 

There was a knock on the door and she simply shook her head, her father probably forgot about something again. She got up from the couch and went to the door, opening without hesitation. 

 

“Hao” Mingyu was standing outside, holding a bouquet of red roses. 

Minghao's legs started shaking and the tears started to gather in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO YEAH WHAT THE FUCK?  
> Do you think Minghao is going to let Mingyu in or do you think she is going to close the door at his face?
> 
>  
> 
> BABIES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND LEAVING KUDOS AND COMMENTS AND BOOKMARKING I AM THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE WHEN I READ YOUR MESSAGES SO PLEASE DON'T HESITATE INTO LEAVING THEM HERE I SERIOUSLY LOVE TO READ THEM THEY ARE MY FUEL 
> 
>  
> 
> also if you don't have anything better to do and kind of want to read something else my other story garden is there waiting for you I'll love to have you there also ❤


	15. people act stupid when they like someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mingyu makes a promise, hansol follows his heart and seokmin assures chan everything will be fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is being healthy???????? 
> 
> what is having proper health???????

Tears started rolling down Minghao's cheeks and she shook her head as she looked at Mingyu, who silently holded the bouquet with both hands. She hesitated a for a couple of minutes but she finally gathered enough strength to close the door.

 

“I don't want to see you or talk to you ever again” She raised her voice, still holding the doorknob. 

 

“Baby, please, let me explain it to you” Mingyu begged from outside.

 

“I don't think there's anything to explain, I saw you and you are a fucking liar” Minghao covered her face with both hands, sobbing, her heart inside her chest was hurting so bad. 

 

“I don't love her, Hao, I love you” Mingyu said knocking the door softly with his knuckles.

 

Minghao opened the door and looked at him “You are having a baby with her!” She yelled, angry. “How can you be like that? I saw you, you looked happy by her side, you were even kissing her belly”

 

Mingyu took a deep breath “I am happy about the baby” He confessed, not looking at her “But I don't love her, you have to believe me”

 

“Well I don't. Because you said you didn't even shared the same room and to have a baby you need more than just live in the same house, I'm not that stupid” 

 

“You are not stupid, baby... Look, I made a mistake, okay? I am a complete idiot, but seriously, Minghao, I can't live without you”

 

“Just go, Mingyu. You are never going to leave your wife and I am honestly tired of waiting and hiding”

 

“I swear to God, Xu Minghao, I swear I'm going to change and leave her, please, please” 

 

The tall red-haired girl was about to close the door but Mingyu took the doorknob and pushed to stop her. He entered the house and closed the door behind him. 

 

“Leave, I don't want to talk to you” Minghao crossed her arms and furrowed both eyebrows.

 

Mingyu fell on his knees and left the bouquet on the floor in front of him. “Please Minghao, please… I can't live without you, please… I love you”

 

The girl avoided looking at him and took a deep breath “Get up, I said no” 

 

“But what about our plans? What about traveling together? An getting married” 

 

“You already have a wife, Kim Mingyu, get up and go” Minghao kneeled in front of him to look at the taller with a serious expression. 

 

“You don't love me anymore?” Mingyu asked, sadness taking over his features. 

 

The red-haired girl sighed and shook her head “It's not that” she made a long pause “ _ Bú shàn shǐ zhě bù shàn zhōng _ ” She said in a low voice, repeating a chinese quote her father told her when she returned home crying that day after finding out the older was lying to her “It means that things that start bad have a bad ending”

 

“This time I'll make things right, I'm going to leave her and I'll buy a house for us” Mingyu looked at the girl straight to her eyes. He leaned and cupped her cheeks with both hands. “Please, please… I'll be better for you, I want to be better for you”

 

Minghao looked at him and then she looked at the flowers, taking a deep breath she shrugged and picked up the flowers to put them in water. 

  
  
  
  
  


\--------

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Seungkwan was walking to his classroom when he felt a hand grabbing him by his wrist and next thing he knew is that he is inside the janitor’s closet, where the brooms and cleaning stuff were stored. 

 

“We need to talk” Hansol was looking at him without letting his wrist go. 

 

“We don't have anything to talk about” Seungkwan pulled, trying to release himself from that gripping.

 

He managed to get out of that place and he practically ran into his classroom.

  
  


The classes went by boring and slowly, like always and by the time the bell rang announcing that the classes were over for the day, Seungkwan found himself with all his stuff already packed and ready to leave. 

Just as he was about to go through the door, from outside entered Hansol's friends, ready to make his afternoon an actual hell, just like they always did. 

 

Seungkwan took a deep breath and rolled his eyes, he was tired of that but there wasn't really something he could do.

 

“Where are you going, piggy?” One of them asked, approaching Seungkwan.

 

“To my house, I am tired of seeing your ugly faces” That was the first time he said anything back to them.

 

“I can see you are eager to get beaten up, huh?”

 

“And I can see that from all of the infinite amount of particles in the universe your mom decided to take just the ugly ones to create you” 

 

Chanhee, Hansol's best friend, took Seungkwan by his shirt’s collar and was about to punch him in the face but a voice interrupted him.

 

“Leave him” 

 

Everyone turned their heads. It was Hansol.

 

“Just in time, we are about to beat this fatty” Chanhee smiled and pushed Seungkwan to the floor.

 

“Shut the fuck up, Chanhee” Hansol entered the classroom and walked towards Seungkwan “Don't ever again call him that, and don't ever again dare to touch him”

 

“Man, are you out of your mind?” Chanhee furrowed both eyebrows and the other three guys looked at Hansol with confused expressions.

 

“No, aren't you hearing what I'm saying? Leave Seungkwan alone. If I ever see you bullying him again I'll beat your assesl” Hansol raised his voice as he kneeled to help Seungkwan get up from the floor. 

 

He grabbed the hand Hansol was offering him but he was confused as well. 

 

Hansol didn't let his hand go, instead he intertwined his fingers with the latter's fingers. Pulling that hand gently, he left the classroom with Seungkwan. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


\--------

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Do you think Jihoon hates me?” Chan asked turning his head to look at the latter, he was holding a cigarette with his left hand, sitting on a bench in the park near his school.

 

“I don't think so, Jihoon is a good person, but he has some problems with expressing his feelings and that leads him to… fuck up a little some situations” Seokmin shook his head, later leading his cigarette to his lips.

 

“I didn't meant to interfere between him and Soonyoung. I like him but not like that, it was never my intention to cause problems” Chan anxiously bit his lower lip and sighed. Of course he was worried about messing things up with his friends.

 

“I don't think Soonyoung liked you that way either, maybe he was just trying to see if anything could happen between you both just to prove that he could get over Jihoon” Seokmin shrugged “I know them and they are so hopelessly and deeply in love with each other… but Jihoon is insecure and Soonyoung is not good at getting clues or signs”

 

Chan took a deep breath. “They seriously stopped talking to each other?”

 

“Seriously. I don’t know what happened but I just hope they can make things right and end this nonsense fight, people act stupid when they like someone” The older sighed.

 

“Are you going to act stupid too?” Chan asked, a small smile forming in his lips, not looking at the latter.

 

“I already do it, I am stupid” Seokmin laughed in a low voice, shrugging.

  
“Good to know” Chan nodded slowly and he let the smoke escape through his lips as he reached the latter's hand to grab it with his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hey please tell me if the chinese thing looks cringey or something like that because I was not sure about leaving it or no but if I didn't put it and only made Hao mumble it, it was not going to make sense 
> 
>  
> 
> I SWEAR TO GOD I LOVE READING YOUR COMMENTS OMG they make me so soft and gay and happy and thank you so much for every single one of them and also for reading and leaving kudos omg y'all so fucking amazing 
> 
> Please don't hesitate into leaving your comments, please, I'm still dying and laying in my deathbed and they make me feel better and laugh and think y'all going to beat my ass I LOVE Y'ALL ❤ i'm weak and soft please feed me with comments


	16. making up for everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeonghan speaks up his mind, Joshua listens. Jihoon needs to talk with Soonyoung and Hansol is trying to make things better.

Joshua still remembered when he moved from America to Korea; he cried for two entire weeks, every night, afraid of being so far from that place he used to call home. He still remembered how one night he overheard his father telling his mother that  _ if she continued being too soft with him and allowed him to sleep in the bed with them every time he cried, he was going to turn gay.  _

 

His father would definitely get a heart attack if he only knew. 

 

If he only knew that his mother's caring side and the way she sang for him until he fell asleep was not the thing that turned him gay, but the fact that he happened to like someone who was his same gender. Nothing less or more than that. 

 

He let out a sigh as he tried to eat his vegetables, it made both his parents to look at him.

  
  


“Is something wrong with the food, Joshua?” His father asked, looking intently at him, already frowning.

 

Joshua shook his head. 

 

The food was not the problem. The problem was that he had feelings for both Wonwoo and Junhui, and he didn't know what to do, he didn't know how things were going to work like that, even if things were going excellent currently. It was just something he did, overthinking.

Also, Jihoon and Soonyoung didn't talk to each other and the shorter looked miserable each day that passed. Jeonghan was spacing out too much recently and he was afraid of even asking what was going inside his mind, because nothing was actually wrong as far as he knew, but then again, it was Jeonghan. 

 

He sighed again, he had a bad feeling. Suddenly they heard someone knocking at the door.

  
  


“It's 8 pm, who is knocking at the door?” Mrs. Hong got up from her seat and went to open. 

 

“You know? Church camp is going be soon, maybe you should invite Jeonghan, after what happened to her… she is needing the Lord to help her heart and body heal” Mr. Hong said, as he chewed the vegetables. 

 

Joshua wanted to tell his father Jeonghan wasn't a  _ she  _ but a  _ he _ , because he was tired of people who didn't had open minds and judged their choices or way of thinking because they were  _ too young _ . Even if the said people were his own parents. 

 

“Joshua” His mother returned to the kitchen, being followed by Jeonghan, who was wearing an oversized hoodie and probably the shortest shorts he owned, for the way the hoodie looked like a dress on him. “Jeonghan is looking for you” 

 

His father frowned at the sight but he only sighed. That Yoon girl was a lost case, he really wanted her to go to church camp. 

  
  


Joshua excused himself from the table and took Jeonghan with him to the back yard, he wasn't allowed to be alone in his room with any girl, even if that said  _ girl _ was Jeonghan, his bro.

 

“I'm sorry I interrupted your lovely dinner time with your parents” Jeonghan murmured, sitting down on one of the swings he and Joshua frequently used when they were little. 

 

“It's okay, you actually saved me, I was having an uncomfortable time talking about homosexuality and how you all are going to burn in bell along with me, but they still ignore that last part” Joshua explained, sitting down in the swing next to Jeonghan's.

 

“Sounds exciting if you ask me, imagine the surprise in their eyes if they knew you are fucking Jun and Wonwoo, wild as fuck, your life is better than any drama” Jeonghan laughed in a low voice, not looking at his best friend.

 

“Are you okay?” Joshua asked, turning to see the latter.

 

Jeonghan shrugged and went silent for a few moments. Silence in him was never a good sign. “My anxiety is up to the rooftop and I'm still not getting my period. Also Wonwoo asked where were you, she says you haven't even read her messages or Junhui’s. I told her you were either reading the bible or jerking off, I came to see which one of those you were actually doing” 

 

“But you took the pregnancy test and it was negative, right?” Joshua chose to ignore all g the other things and focused on that.

 

“You are ignoring them, why?” Jeonghan lifted one eyebrow and looked at him.

 

Joshua took a deep breath. “Is your mom being mean to you again? Did she say anything?”

 

“She wants me to go to the therapist but I don't want to, I'm tired and I don't really want to start digging in the past to take all the skeletons I have buried there” He shrugged again “The pregnancy test was negative but I'm still not getting my period, maybe I'm sick” 

 

“Maybe it was not correct, you know how sometimes those things are not accurate” Joshua murmured, reaching Jeonghan's hair to gently tug it behind his ear. “What did he say?”

 

“Who?” Jeonghan asked, looking at his shoes. He was still wearing his white converse.

 

“Seungcheol, of course, what did he say?” Joshua repeated the question.

 

“If I'm pregnant he wants me to keep it, that's for sure” He started saying, kicking some little rocks with his left foot “I explained him the cons of this situation, and he told me I can do what I think will be the best for me since it's my body, but I can totally see how his cute puppy eyes get sad about the idea of me getting it out of me”

 

“Maybe you should go to take an actual test, you know? A blood test, something accurate. He totally looks like someone who will get sad about that fact, if you ask me, but the fact that he is not an asshole putting pressure on you and letting you decide what you want to do with your body…” 

 

“That's why my anxiety is currently higher than my grades; I'm not sure anymore, I'm not sure about anything”

 

“Try to calm down. He should go with you to take the test, it will be good for both, you need to talk with him, everything will be fine, Han” 

 

“Are you sure, Hong? Are you sure everything will be fine?”

 

“I'm sure”

 

“Then answer Wonwoo's and Jun's messages, you little shit, you are making them worry and I can totally see how much you love them both, everything will be fine, stop thinking too much about everything, it is what it is, some things don't need an explanation or a reason, they just are like that” 

  
  


Jeonghan got up from the swing and kissed Joshua's head a couple of times, then he hugged him. 

 

“I love your gay ass, stop worrying or I'll beat it”

 

“Same goes to you, stop worrying too much or I'll beat your little gay ass, you hear me?”

 

“Threatening me with that doesn't work, I'm stronger than you”

 

“I'll bathe you in holy water”

 

“Now my legs are shaking”

 

Both of them laughed and Jeonghan went to his house after that.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Seungkwan sat down at the table they always used in the cafeteria, Hansol taking the seat next to him. 

 

“How long is your stupid puppy going to follow you around until he realizes we don't like him?” Jihoon asked, looking at Hansol. 

 

“He is not my puppy” Seungkwan said, opening his water bottle to give it a small sip.

 

“But he is stupid” Jeonghan snorted, eating calmly a snickers bar.

 

“He is” Seungkwan nodded “But he is learning how to be less stupid, you know? He may actually be a puppy after all” he said thoughtful after a couple of moments.

 

“He is a bitch” Wonwoo smiled, trying not to laugh but Seokmin cackled.

 

“Hansol is trying to be better, right? He is trying to make things right for me and also for you guys” Seungkwan explained, turning to see his boyfriend, who shyly sat there in silence. He knew he deserved all those nasty nicknames and jokes they threw at him, he acted like an asshole.

 

Jihoon made a gagging noise. “This is too much for me, quickly Wonwoo, say something”

 

“Actually I think Hansol deserves an opportunity” Wonwoo shrugged, looking at the younger.

 

Junhui laughed and patted Jihoon's head lightly to show him some support.

 

Soonyoung got up from his place and without saying anything he left the table.

Jihoon pretended he didn't saw anything, like always, and he continued to eat his lunch.

 

“I'll go” Joshua got up from the table but Jun grabbed his wrist softly and shook his head, he then turned to face Jihoon.

  
  


Jihoon took a deep breath and got up. “I hate when you all get sentimental and lovey” he murmured, rolling eyes so he didn't had to actually look at his friends. 

 

He knew exactly where Soonyoung was, so he walked to the rooftop and closed the door behind him. 

  
  
  


“Leave me alone” Soonyoung said without turning to see who it was.

 

“I'd normally do that but they sent me here because they think something is going on between us” Jiboon said back, walking towards the taller.

 

Soonyoung rolled his eyes. “Between us? Impossible, aside from fucking every time you wanted some weed or were bored”

 

“Why are you so butthurt about it? Not that I lied to you, we fucked because you wanted it too and you liked it” Jihoon clenched his jaw and crossed his arms. 

 

“I love you, Jihoon, and it hurts me to see you being so self-destructive, it drives me crazy because I want to help you and you won't let me” Soonyoung walked closer to him, looking at the shorter in the eyes.

 

“Shut up, I don't want to hear  nonsense of how love heals the soul and gives everyone reasons to live”

 

“But that's the true, Jihoon. Loves does that, because when you care about other person, when you really want to help your significant other… “

 

“My life is miserable Soonyoung, why would I want to bring someone with me into this endless spiral of sadness and sorrow?”

 

“Because there's people who care… me, the others, we all care about you, we all want to help you and it makes me angry how you just avoid us, we can't help you if you don't let us, but when something happens you always want to help”

 

“It's different”

 

“It's not different, fuck”

  
  


Soonyoung frowned, getting angry at the shorter. He grabbed Jihoon by his school's shirt and pulled him into an aggressive kiss, biting his lips and sucking them, he was so done with his way of acting these past days.

 

Jihoon gasped with surprise at the sudden acts, but he returned the kiss, closing his eyes.

  
  


“I love you too” Jihoon managed to say between the kiss.

 

Soonyoung stopped to look at him in awe.

 

“Still don't want to hear nonsense about romance and shit” 

  
Soonyoung nodded and continue to kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for every kudo, bookmark and hit you give this story!
> 
> Please remember i love reading your comments, i love feedback and i basically live because of it, so don't hesitate into leaving your comments!! Please do it!!


	17. things might seem better than they actually are

“So, your dad will be out of town all week?” Mingyu was looking at his girlfriend, who was currently too busy eating her bowl of hot noodles.

 

The girl nodded, chewing slowly. “His boss decided he is the right person to go close the deal in Shenzhen, so he will go all week there to discuss the pros and cons of becoming partnerships and to give them a good impression. He wanted me to go with him, but I need to work” Minghao shrugged “He said we might move back to China” 

 

Mingyu snorted. “Back to China? Why would you want to go back to China? There's nothing there for you” 

 

“China is not what it used to be and we aren't who we used to be, we were poor back then and now we live very decently, I mean, we're not rich but…” Minghao shrugged again, leaving the chopsticks next to the empty bowl. 

 

“Do you seriously want to go live in China, Xu Minghao?” Mingyu furrowed both eyebrows “Your dad can go alone and you can stay here”

 

“With you?” The red-haired girl lifted one eyebrow “What, you are finally going to leave your wife so we can move in together? Don't make me laugh, besides, I'm not leaving my dad and… I said we  _ might _ is not been decided yet” 

 

Mingyu only rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. He raised his hand to call a waiter and he arrived soon to the table; Mingyu took out his wallet and gave the waiter his card, that's how they ended up alone again.

 

“Let me stay at home with you, I don't want you to be alone in there” Mingyu said, looking at his girlfriend intently “I can take you to your workplace and then pick you up”

 

“Dad will kill me if he finds out” Minghao shook her head softly “You know he doesn't like you, he thinks you are too old for me”

 

“But come on, I take care of you, I want the best for you” The man whined, pouting childishly “And I don't want you to be alone in there, what if something happens?”

 

“Nothing will happen” Minghao smiled at the view of his boyfriend acting like that “Come on, you are a man, act like it”

 

“I don't want to, I want my baby to let me stay with her so we can cuddle when we go to sleep” Mingyu faked a childish voice while pouting and it made Minghao laugh.

 

“Alright, fine, you can stay” She rolled her eyes, smiling at him. “But what are you going to say to her?” 

 

“Don't worry about it, I will fix it” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Joshua and Wonwoo were sitting at the edge of the bed in Wonwoo's bedroom, both of them in complete silence, looking at the floor as if it was the most exciting thing in the world.

 

“So, are going to stop ignoring us?” Wonwoo asked, not looking at the latter “Jun is worried, he thinks we fucked up somehow” 

 

“It's not that” Joshua shook his head.

 

“Seriously? It has nothing to do with us involving you in our making out sessions that almost always end up with the three of us having sex?” Wonwoo crossed his arms and turned to face Joshua. 

 

The latter shook his head. “I do it because I like it, I like both of you, that's it” he finally confessed, closing his eyes to take a deep breath. “At first I only liked you, but then I started liking Jun too… and I am confused about it, about how are we going to keep that going”

 

Wonwoo made a pause and hummed softly in response, nodding. “You know? You are too straight” he laughed, his nose making that scrunch Joshua like so much. “Stop overthinking, we are friends in the first place, before anything else remember that. Second, just let it happen, it's not evil or something from another dimension, liking two people or having feelings for two people happens”

 

“It's fine for you two?”

 

“Babe… we've been fucking, the three of us, It's because we both like you, stop worrying so much and come kiss me”

 

Joshua felt dumb for thinking that liking both Jun and Wonwoo was going to be a problem, everything suggested it was not, but he worried about it anyways, as always. He smiled, feeling relieved and leaned to kiss Wonwoo's lips, softly, closing his eyes. 

 

Everything was going to be fine.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Stay” Soonyoung pouted, holding Jihoon's wrist with his hand, softly, to stop the shorter from leaving his room, and with that, to stop him from leaving his house.

 

“I need to go home and take a shower” Jihoon rolled his eyes as he was pulled again to the bed, in which he sat, at the edge of the mattress. “We fucked like three times in a row, I'm sticky, I need a shower, Kwon Soonyoung”

 

“There's water and a shower here, you know? You can get clean here, you don't have to go. Plus your mom is taking tonight’s shift at her work, right?” Soonyoung pouted “Stay Jihoonie, please, we can order pizza for dinner” 

 

Jihoon took a deep breath. “Alright, I'll stay. But don't even think I'm getting soft on-”

 

Soonyoung pulled the shorter into a kiss and Jihoon ended up kissing him back.

 

Soonyoung just wanted Jihoon to be happy and less worried, and even if he couldn't stop him from worrying about his mom and their financial situation… at least he could try to make him have a good time while they were together. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeonghan finished reading the paper as Seungcheol looked at him, worried, Jeonghan's expression was a despair one, and his silence was started to make him nervous.

 

“What does it says?” The older asked, after Jeonghan closed his eyes and ruffled his long hair with one hand. 

 

“That we are fucked” Jeonghan answered, giving the results of the blood test he took the day before. There, sitting nicely, waiting for him to read it, was the hormone count, and it was clear that certain hormone was found because after it  _ that _ word followed. 

 

_ Pregnant.  _

 

Seungcheol took a deep breath and folded the paper, turning later to look at his boyfriend, who was blankly staring at nothing. Absent. “Hannie…” he called the younger, placing a hand over his back to rub it softly. 

 

“I'll go home” Jeonghan stood up, ready to leave, but Seungcheol stopped him, grabbing the shorter by the shoulders. 

 

“Listen to me, we are in this together. Next week is my payday, wait until then for me to have money so we can buy whatever the fuck you need to get rid off it, okay?” The older cupped his boyfriend's cheeks and rubbed them softly with his thumbs. 

 

Jeonghan nodded weakly, not looking at him. “I don't feel good” he murmured, leaning to rest his forehead on his boyfriend's forehead. 

 

“Everything will be fine, I swear. Overcome all difficulties, remember?” Seungcheol pressed a kiss on top of the younger's head and sighed, he didn't feel good either, but he was in no place to force his boyfriend into doing something that was going to be a torture for him, both physically and mentally. 

 

“Don't tell anyone about this, I don't want anyone to know, this is not a decision I'm proud of, please…”

  
“It's our secret, babe, don't let others know about this”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i only update this when i feel like shit, why do i like making my characters suffer.
> 
>  
> 
> anyways, might update this on weekend again.


	18. sun shines through the clouds

Chan leaned to kiss Seokmin’s temple. “Everything will be fine” he murmured, embracing the older tightly against his body. 

 

They were sitting on the grass at Chan's backyard, only his mother was home, but she wasn't going to bother them. He asked her to give them some time alone and she nodded softly without saying anything after opening the door to find a teary-eyed tall guy with a bruised cheek.

 

“I'm sorry you have to see me like this” Seokmin murmured, eyes closed, his forehead pressed on Chan's shoulder. 

 

“Don't be worried about something like that, I am your boyfriend, aren't I? I'm supposed to be with you in times like this” The younger rubbed his back gently, pressing another soft kiss in the latter's temple.

 

“They were fighting again” Seokmin said, in a very low voice “But this time he tried to beat mom, and I wasn't going to let that shit happen” 

 

“You are brave”

 

“And stupid, but she's my mom. Even if she is shitty to me sometimes, she is my mom”

 

“You are a good son”

 

“According to my dad,  _ I'm fucking stupid and good for nothing _ , so we have that”

 

“He is a shitty parent, if we are going to blame someone on how you turned out, it's him and his genetics, huh?”

 

“Isn't your mom going to get mad if she walks on us hugging and kissing?”.

 

“Nah, she already knows and thinks it's a phase, just like my wanting to die phase, but that has been around so long that I'm starting to doubt that's a phase actually” 

 

Seokmin snorted, even if his ribs hurt when he did so. “Shut up you're like ten, not old enough to know if you want to die since you haven't been around living for that long”

 

“But old enough to put your tongue inside my mouth and up to my throat?”

 

“Fair enough” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Traveling.  _

 

That was the lame excuse Mingyu gave his wife about the week he was going to spend over Minghao's house. She thought about it as she watched tv, after having filthy and rough sex with him in her bedroom. 

 

“Babe, do you want to go out to have dinner somewhere or do you want us to order something instead?” Mingyu asked, coming out of the bathroom with his hair wet and wearing only a towel around his waist. 

 

“Neighbors are going to tell my dad you were here, you know?” Minghao smiled, looking at her boyfriend “We have to stop being so noisy” she lazily got up from the couch and walked to kiss him on the cheek “Let's order, I don't really want to get dressed” 

 

Mingyu wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and placed his hands on her butt, she was only wearing panties and a loose t-shirt. “We can also go and buy something to eat here, darling” he chuckled, leaning to kiss her forehead. 

 

“That can also be an option, but I have to put on pants” Minghao pouted, wrapping her long arms around Mingyu’s neck. 

 

“Put on pajama pants, you don't have to get out from the car if you don't want to, I'll go buy anything my princess wants” He kissed her lips softly a couple of times and patted her but gently “Go, come on”

 

“Alright” She smiled and nodded, breaking the contact to go inside her room and grab some pink pajama pants that she later put on. She also grabbed the house keys and after also putting on shoes, she was ready to go. 

 

They went down the stairs together and entered the car. Three days full of bliss. Living with Mingyu was just so damn perfect, it was her dream come true. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Joshua moaned softly against Jun's lips and shivered under his gentle touch, closing his eyes to focus on just that, how amazing it felt being under Jun’s body. He tangled his fingers on the taller's hair and pulled it, licking his own lips as he felt them go dry. 

 

“How beautiful you are, Shua” Jun whispered to his ear, his hands gripping the latter's hips as he moved his own hips back and forth to create friction between their dicks. Both of them were naked, on Joshua's bed, trying to be as silent as they could. 

 

The fucking adrenaline was something that definitely added a plus on the moment. “God, fuck” Joshua cried in a whisper, pulling Jun’s hair a little more hard than he wanted to, but he already felt his own cock dripping at how horny he was, and Jun was just playing with him.

 

“I love that dirty mouth” Jun leaned to kiss the said mouth and bit the lower lip, pulling it gently. “We should have more sleepovers” he added, burying his fingers on Joshua's skin. 

 

The shorter only nodded softly. “We should invite Wonwoo” He said a bit after, when he was sure a moan was not going to escape his mouth.

 

“At your house? Never, it's either my house or their house, here… if they find out, hell will be released” Jun kissed Joshua's neck and licked it, his left hand went straight to their cocks to stroke them together, not having condoms or lube there to use was terrible, but they were somehow making it work. 

 

“You know what else is going to be released?” Joshua asked, a strangled chuckle leaving his lips. 

 

Jun started to move his hand faster and bit his lower lip to avoid moaning too loud. 

 

Soon, he and Joshua both released themselves, grunting softly, their warmthness mixing together, blending with each other’s.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Mingyu returned to the car carrying a big paper bag and a container that held to tall plastic cups. Minghao leaned to press a button and soon her window was rolling down; she made grabby hands to her boyfriend and he gave her the bag, 

The older got into the car and put the bag on his lap, leaning to kiss Minghao's cheek a couple of times.

 

“Strawberry?” Minghao asked, lifting one of the plastic cups to give it a small drink. She made a face, that was apple soda, not what she ordered. Putting back in its place the cup, she grabbed the other one and lifted it, giving it a drink, then she smiled. “Strawberry” A smile formed on her lips.

 

“A strawberry milkshake, what my queen ordered” Mingyu kissed her again on the cheek and then turned to start the car. “And your burguer is inside the bag, no pickles, no onion, no ketchup” he listed the items his girl didn't like as he led the car out of the parking lot. 

 

“Thank you, babe” Minghao smiled widely and blew a kiss to the man, continuing later on to drink her milkshake. “Can we go to the movies tomorrow?” 

 

“Yes, after I come back home from work” Mingyu answered, nodding softly as he stopped in a red light. “It's your free day tomorrow, right?” 

 

“Yeah” Minghao nodded, still drinking from her milkshake, not looking at the latter, since she was lazily checking her phone, mostly because she wanted to make sure her dad didn't call in the time she and her boyfriend were  _ busy. _

 

“You should take some sexy photos for me” Mingyu smiled, turning his head to look at her “Why did I buy you a phone with a nice camera if you don't use it to take sexy photos?”

 

“Because I use it to take selcas, remember? Those that light your day and you love so much” Minghao rolled her eyes and chuckled.

 

Mingyu's phone started ringing and he furrowed eyebrows, choosing to ignore it. His girlfriend tilted her head and took the device to look at the screen. 

 

“It's your wife” 

 

The man took the cellphone and answered, slowing down the vehicle. “What's up? Huh? Seriously? Shit, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going, I'm going I'll see you there” 

 

He left the phone and immediately started driving faster, not saying a single word, just looking at the road.

 

“What's going on?” Minghao asked, confused and a bit startled because of the sudden reckless driving.

 

“She's getting into labor” He answered, not looking at her. “I need to be there”

 

“Take me home” Minghao clenched her jaw “What are you even thinking? I can't be there, are you out of your mind?”

 

“There's no time” Mingyu continued driving fast. In around twenty minutes of a dead silence and reckless driving they were outside a very nice hospital; Mingyu parked near the entrance and went out of the car, luckily he was wearing decent clothes.

 

Minghao went out of the car and closed the door way harder than it was needed. 

 

The man looked at her and took his wallet out of his pocket. “Take a taxi” he said, giving the girl money. “Text me when you get home”

 

She looked at him and took the money and her cellphone, along with her house keys. 

 

“Take the food with you, eat dinner and go to sleep” He leaned to kiss her lips but Minghao turned her head to avoid it.

 

“Fuck you, go and see your wife and your kid, just… go” She shook her head and sighed, not even looking at him when she started waking to take a taxi.

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Stop” Seungkwan giggled, taking the latter's hands to make him stop already. 

 

“But I like to hear you laughing” Hansol said, leaning to look at him from closer. 

 

They were both laying down on the floor at Hansol's house, watching movies in the living room, lights out, peacefully… at least until Hansol started tickling him. 

 

“Stop” Seungkwan turned his head, embarrassed to have the latter looking at him so intently “How can you be so nice and caring when you pretended to be so cruel and rude”

 

Hansol stopped, humming softly, thinking about it. “It's because I was a total idiot, I wanted to pretend I was so cool and rude, you know? I wanted to fit, people used to make fun of me because I'm mixed, I didn't want it to be the same in this school, I wanted to blend in… even if I had to be a jerk if I needed to”

 

Seungkwan shook his head. “You are cool just the way you are, those people who used to bully you because your looks… were just jealous, you are handsome and you are cool, you don't need to hang out with those losers”

 

“Thank you, you are cool too… I'm sorry I was a jerk before, I'm sorry” Hansol sighed.

  
“Don’t even think about it, okay?” Seungkwan kissed the latter's cheek and smiled at him. “We're fine now” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> always remember feedback is important for us authors, so don't be shy about commenting, thanks for reading


	19. mistakes, one after another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeonghan doesn't understand what's going on inside his own head. Seungcheol is worried about Minghao, but she insists that everything is fine... which is not. Jun, Wonwoo and Joshua are the disgustingly sweet relationship in the group, apparently. Soonyoung thinks that title belongs to him and Jihoon, the latter begs to differ.

“It's been two days” Minghao said, braiding her long hair, angrily, not looking at her friend. “Two fucking days, not even a fucking text saying he's sorry”

 

Seungcheol sighed. “Maybe he is very busy, give him some time, he now has a kid, and kids are time consuming” He tried his best to justify Minghao’s idiot boyfriend’s actions, even if he didn't like that man, because he knew well, nothing he said to the girl was going to be enough for her to finally leave him. 

 

“He is a jerk, I swear one of these days he is going to make me lose my mind” Minghao complained, rolling her eyes. 

 

“Do you actually not care about him having a kid with his wife?” Seungcheol asked, curious, also angry about it, because it was his friend they were talking about, and Minghao took so much shit for someone who didn't deserve it. 

 

She shrugged, biting her lower lip. “I can't give him kids, you know?” she faked a laugh, as if she actually find it funny. “I came to the conclusion that he is like that and I am like this, there’s not much to do about it”

 

“You deserve better, you are smart, beautiful, funny, you have guys that are dying for you to give them a chance, like literally. What’s that guy's name? The one who kisses the floor you step in, the chinese one that lives in the same apartment complex”

 

“Jackson” Minghao answered, rolling her eyes “And he is not dying to date me”

 

“He is dying, Minghao. I can see his eyes sparkling when he looks at you and I've met him like three times. For real now, Hao, you deserve better… at least, if Mingyu has a wife, you should be able to have another boyfriend, or a friend with benefits”

 

Minghao hummed softly in response and shrugged. She loved Mingyu… but she was also tired. She sighed. “How's Jeonghan?”

 

“Pregnant” Seungcheol ruffled his hair with both hands and closed his eyes, pressing his eyelids. “Very pregnant, and she doesn't want to keep the baby”

 

“He, Seungcheol. He doesn't want to keep the baby” Minghao furrowed her eyebrows “Don't blame him, he is too young to have a baby and you too, how do you even plan to have a baby in a situation like this? Jeonghan’s been through a lot of shit and he is still going through it, he is depressed, you two will be kids playing household with an actual baby”

 

“Jeonghan is free to do what he wants with his body, I would never ever make him do something he doesn't want to do” Seungcheol said, his eyes still closed “But it worries me. The fact that he is young and something can happen to him, even if it’s just a pill… a fucking expensive pill, I don't know, I just… I don't know” He opened his eyes to look at the girl standing in front of him.

 

“You know what? Let's share a cigarette” Minghao undid the braids off her hair and smiled gently. “Let's go outside”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jun sat Joshua on his lap and pressed a small kiss on his shoulder. They were at Jihoon’s house, watching a shitty tv show with all of the others, sitting either on the floor or on the couch. 

“Kwannie, you need to eat more than that, you are still growing up” Jeonghan scolded the younger, a small pout on his lips. “Give him another slice of pizza, Jun, and watch him eat”

 

“Yessir” Jun pressed another kiss on Joshua’s shoulder, and squeezed his hips with both hands, making him sit straight on him. 

 

“Jihoon, make sure Kwannie eats more, I have to talk with Wonwoo” Jeonghan rolled his eyes when he realized Jun and Joshua were too busy with each other. 

 

“Only if you promise not to make gay shit in my house” Jihoon made a face, turning his head from Jun and Joshua, to Jeonghan, who was about to go lock himself in a room with Wonwoo.

 

“You and I make gay shit all the time here” Soonyoung turned his head to look at his boyfriend, confused. 

 

“Shut up, Soonyoung” Jihoon clenched his jaw, his cheeks getting red. 

 

“Eww, gay shit” Jeonghan rolled his eyes “Who cares, it's 2017, no one's heterosexual in this year, in this economy. Grow up” He walked to Jihoon’s room, where Wonwoo was already waiting for him, and closed the door behind him.

  
  


“What do you want to talk about that can't wait so I can kiss my two hot boyfriends?” Wonwoo asked, looking at the latter from where he was, leaning on the bed. 

 

“I…” The long haired boy sat down next to Wonwoo and took a deep breath. “I read something on the internet. Actually, I-I’m, ugh… I watched and read some stuff, I… don't know what to do” 

 

Wonwoo got up to hug the shorter and patted his back gently. “It's okay, whatever it is, it's okay” 

 

“Sure?” Jeonghan asked, eyes closed, hugging Wonwoo back, tightly. 

 

“Sure, babe, everything will be alright” Wonwoo smiled at him and kissed his cheek gently. 

 

“Thank you” Jeonghan pressed his forehead on Wonwoo’s shoulder and kept hugging him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“So, the gay shit” Seokmin teased Jihoon, who was sitting on the floor, next to Soonyoung.

 

“Do you want to die today, Seokminnie?” Jihoon asked with a sweet voice, not proper in him. He then turned to see Seokmin, threatening.

 

“The gay shit Seungkwan and Hansol do, that's what I meant” Seokmin hurried to say, smiling nervously.

 

“Hey!” Seungkwan pouted, hugging his boyfriend’s left arm. Hansol only laughed softly, he didn't say much when the was dragged to a meeting with his boyfriend's friends, he knew they had their doubts about him and he couldn't blame them, he had to deal with it and learn how to be accepted by them. 

  
  
  


Joshua turned to see Jun and smiled at him, leaning to kiss his lips. 

 

“Get a room” Jeonghan said, coming out, being followed by Wonwoo, laughing. 

 

“That's a great idea” Jun placed his hands on Joshua’s butt and squeezed it the best he can being in that position.

 

“Ugh, just go inside my room already, I hate you all” Jihoon made a face, looking at the three of them getting into his own room. 

 

“Look at the brightside” Jeonghan said, placing himself next to Seokmin, resting his head on the latter's shoulder. 

 

“Which is the bright side?” Jihoon asked, raising one eyebrow. 

 

“At least with those three around, you and Soonyoung aren’t the most disgustingly sweet couple” Jeonghan snickered and Seokmin, Hansol and Seungkwan snorted. 

 

Soonyooung smiled until his eyes turned into crescent moons. 

 

“Ugh” Jihoon rolled his eyes, tired, holding his boyfriend's hand tightly. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Joshua laughed as he sat at the edge of the mattress, looking at both Wonwoo and Jun, who were kissing by the door, the taller of the two still holding the doorknob. 

 

Wonwoo broke the kiss and looked at Jun right in the eyes, smirking, his hands making its way to grab Jun’s ass. He squeezed it gently, and turned to look at Joshua. “He was teasing you, right?” 

 

“He was” Joshua smiled, nodding softly. 

 

“You can't keep your hands for yourself” Wonwoo shook his head, still smirking.

 

“It’s kind of difficult, you know?” Jun wrapped his arms around Wonwoo’s neck “Having not one but two hot guys tempting me” 

 

“Poor Junhui, it's all out fault” Joshua crossed arms “Come here, let's make out before Jihoon kick us out of his room to use it himself”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Yeah, dad, I'm taking care of myself. Yeah, I've been eating well, and sleeping enough and taking showers… No dad, no. Of course not. No,  _ you _ take care, sir” Minghao furrowed eyebrows, as she rummaged through her purse, trying to find her house keys. She was standing in front of the door, holding her cellphone between her cheek and her shoulder. “Don't catch a cold, please. I miss you too, please take care, daddy. I love you, bye” She took a deep breath once the call ended and put her cellphone inside her purse, later taking the keys out of it. 

 

“Hey, gorgeous”

 

A familiar voice called the red-haired girl from behind and she turned to look at him, smiling. “Hey, Jackson” 

 

“How are you?” He asked, walking towards her. 

 

“I've been better, honestly. How about you? Did you just come back from work?” She finally opened the door to her house, but she didn't enter, she turned to look at the tall man instead. 

 

“Yeah, I just came back from work… I'm happy now that I got to see you, honestly” He chuckled, looking intently at her. 

 

“Do you… want to come in? I can cook dinner for both of us, or we can order something and talk or watch a movie” Minghao suggested, looking back at him. 

 

“Let's order something” Jackson nodded, more than happy about the invitation. 

  
  
  
  


They ordered some sushi for dinner, and in the meantime they talked about random things, about work, and about other not really important things. It was a peaceful night.

 

So Minghao doesn't really knows how she ended up sitting on Jackson’s lap, kissing him eagerly. His hands on her ass, her arms wrapped around his neck, Minghao moving her hips slowly back and forth. 

 

She parted lips and looked at him in complete silence, panting softly, cheeks tinted with red. 

 

“I like you so much” Jackson murmured, looking at her, panting too.

  
Minghao closed her eyes and leaned to kiss his lips again. Slowly, their clothes disappeared one by one.

 

It was different. Messy, clumsy, slow. Jackson was a kid in comparison to her boyfriend's experience, but also, it could be they didn't really know each other's body. But it was good. 

 

"I like you so much" Jackson murmured to her ear, kissing her forehead, caressing her back softly. 

Minghao was blankly looking at the ceiling, in total silence. 

 

There was a knock on the door. 

 

"I'll go" The girl got up and put on her panties along with Jackson's t-shirt, which was way too big for her small frame "It's the sushi and I want to rant about how they took forever to bring it" 

He nodded and got up to put his underwear on. "Here, pay for it" He walked towards her holding his wallet and gave her money, along with a small kiss on the lips. 

Minghao held the doorknob after smiling at the latter because of the kiss and turned to open the door. 

 

"Hao" Mingyu was standing outside, holding a roses bouquet. He freezed as soon as he saw what his girlfriend was wearing and the guy standing behind her. That fucking idiot. 

"Gyu" Minghao looked at him, swallowing thick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you guess if drama is about to come? because hell yeah, it's about to come
> 
> also, always remember feedback makes authors live, literally, we live because of our readers feedback, so please, don't hesitate into leaving a comment with your thoughts, it's free, boi


	20. love and it's different ways of showing it

“How do you feel?” Seokmin asked, looking at Jeonghan, who was sitting in total silence next to him, looking at the blackboard even if there was nothing written there. The teacher erased everything before he left the room.

 

“Like I'm going to throw up anytime soon” Jeonghan answered, making a face “I've been feeling nauseous since yesterday before I went to sleep” 

 

“Did you eat anything before coming to school?” Joshua asked, worried, looking at his friend. 

 

“No, I told mom I was going to eat here but I seriously don't think I'll be able to eat something… I feel like shit, more than other days” Jeonghan closed his eyes and covered his face with both hands.

 

“You should try eating something, you can't be throwing up all day without actually filling your stomach before” Jun commented, shrugging.

 

“Seungcheol’s giving me the money today” Jeonghan took his hands out of his face, looking intently at Jun, who sat in front of him. “But I need to go pick it myself to his workplace, he has to do double shift today and he can't go to my house” 

 

“You want us to go with you?” Soonyoung asked, leaning over his desk to give his friend a better look and smiled. 

 

“Sure” Jeonghan nodded softly and kept quiet once the teacher entered the classroom.

 

He might not be able to express properly how lucky he was to have friends like those, but sure he was grateful. The thought made him smile. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“It's almost Friday, smile a little” Seungcheol smiled, gripping Minghao’s shoulders hard and shaking her tiny body a little, without much care, trying to cheer her up.

 

Minghao avoided complaining about every inch of her body hurt and, instead, she smiled the best she could. “Hormones, they make me crazy and emotionally unstable, I'll smile as soon as I can go out to smoke” She lied, shrugging softly. 

 

“You want to take five minutes? I don't think Eunseo is going to complain, it's an easy morning” Seungcheol patted his back pocket, where he had the cigarettes and his lighter, ready for it.

 

“Yeah, let's go outside, let me just go to the bathroom and I'll be out with you in a moment” She was already walking to the bathroom, giving Seungcheol a soft smile. 

  
  
  


She entered one of the stalls and locked herself inside, then she was able to sigh deeply. She took off the black sweater she was wearing over her uniform and unbuttoned her shirt to look at the bruises covering her chest, shoulders and collarbones. Her arms were filled with them too, her back, and her lower body were another fucking story. Even her neck and face, but she was damn good at makeup.

 

Minghao sobbed softly and tried to gently touch the ones on her shoulders with her fingertips, as an attempt to warm them to make the pain go away. 

 

Mingyu crossed the line. Several times that week and since the day he knocked at her door to find out she and Jackson had fucked. Of course, he lost his shit and not only fist fought Jackson, he also fist fought her. And won.

 

Sex with him also got rougher, and not in the sexy way. Mingyu choked her to the point his hand left marks on Minghao’s skin, he left hickeys everywhere on her body and was aggressive with the way he touched and gripped her. He was making sure to leave marks in case Minghao forgot she was  _ his property.  _

  
  


Minghao choked back her tears and buttoned her shirt all the way up. She put on her sweater again and took a deep breath, she could endure it, she was a strong girl.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Thank you” Chan waved at his parents, smiling the best he could as he stood in the entrance of the restaurant where he and his friends agreed to meet in after school. 

 

“I'll take care of him!” Jeonghan yelled, waving at the couple, who eagerly waved back at him. Of course, they were going to allow Chan go anywhere… if Jeonghan was there. 

 

The car pulled out of the small parking lot and started moving out to the street. Soon, they could not longer see it. 

 

“You want a cigarette?” Jihoon offered to Chan, who nodded, he didn't care some adult was going to see him wearing his school's uniform and find out he was not even near to be legal and smoking. 

 

“Later” Jeonghan made a face and Jihoon rolled his eyes, putting the package of cigarettes inside his schoolbag again.

 

“I forgot” Jihoon mumbled, and patted softly Jeonghan’s back. 

 

“What?” Chan asked, a bit confused as to why everyone seemed to know something he didn't. 

 

“You’re going to have a sibling” Soonyoung announced, patting Chan's head, messing with his perfect-for-school hairstyle. 

 

“Excuse me?” Chan furrowed his eyebrows, not really understanding what that was supposed to mean.

 

“Jeonghan’s pregnant and he doesn't want us to smoke around him” Wonwoo announced, starting to walk towards the entrace. 

 

Chan turned his head to look at Jeonghan. “Don't you know about condoms and stuff?” he asked, crossing his arms. 

 

“I do, but I also seem to not give a damn” Jeonghan shrugged, following Wonwoo. 

 

“He's not planning into keeping it, tho, I don't know what's the big deal then” Seokmin murmured into his boyfriend's ear, later wrapping an arm around his waist. 

 

Chan kept quiet and accepted the small kiss Seokmin placed on his temple, starting to walk into the restaurant with the others. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeonghan shoved the money Seungcheol gave him inside his schoolbag. He sighed and gave the older a tight hug, kissing his chin and his jawline. “You going to be okay in this long ass shift, bro?” he asked, still hugging the latter. 

 

“Yeah, I'll be fine” Seungcheol nodded softly and leaned to kiss Jeonghan’s forehead a couple of times “You need anything else?”

 

“No, I'm fine. If you get like ten minutes or something call me, okay? So you don't go completely insane just interacting with rude ass costumers” Jeonghan kissed his boyfriend’s lips and smiled at him. 

 

“My hero” Seungcheol giggled and then he kissed those lips again “Send a text when you get home, bro” 

 

Jeonghan nodded softly before giving him another kiss and going out with his friends, who were waiting outside, ready to leave. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Hey babe” Mingyu leaned to kiss Minghao’s lips once she was sitting next to him inside his car. “You had a nice day?” he asked, looking intently at her.

 

Minghao shrugged. “Nothing special, just work” she answered, not looking at him.

 

“You want to go somewhere nice to have dinner with me?” Mingyu smiled at her, starting the engine, ready to leave the restaurant's parking lot.

 

“I can't, I promised dad I was going to cook something for him” She shook her head, taking out her cellphone to check on her missed calls. Some of them were Jackson’s, some of them where her dad’s.

 

“Maybe I can come have dinner with you” Mingyu wiggled his eyebrows and grinned, giving the girl a quick look. 

 

“That's a good idea, so my dad can finally beat your ass” Minghao rolled her eyes, annoyed at the suggestion “You are lucky Jackson lied about his injuries and the neighbors didn't tell him what happened the week he went out of the country. And I am lucky too because I swear he would take my ass back to China if he knew”

 

Mingyu frowned, stopping the car to look at the girl. “Why are you mad at me?” He asked, a serious expression on his face.

 

Minghao snorted. “You are married, with a kid, you lied to me, you beated one of my friends, and now you are beating me too. Are you fucking serious?”

 

“I'm sorry baby… I'm sorry…” Mingyu reached his girlfriend’s hands and pulled them to kiss the back of them a couple of times. “I'm so sorry”

 

“Why are you doing this to me? I give you my whole heart, my body, everything I have… Why are you like this?” Minghao bit her lower lip, looking at the older. 

 

“It's because I'm an idiot” Mingyu stated, still kissing the girl's hands “And I am so afraid I'm going to lose you, my princess… please, tell me you are not going to leave me, I promise I will be better for you, I'll change, I swear to God, Hao”

 

Minghao took a deep breath and looked through the window, then looked back at Mingyu. She shrugged and nodded softly. “I'm sorry I get bitchy, I love you” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Soonyoung pulled Jihoon into a soft embrace and kissed the top of his head gently. They were standing outside Jihoon’s house, the shorter about to enter it when his boyfriend before he was pulled into that hug.

 

“I'll see you tomorrow, stop being so clingy” Jihoon complained, but he was hugging the taller back.

 

“It's because I'll miss my Jihoonie so much… he didn't accept to stay the night with me” Soonyoung talked with a high-pitched forced voice, kissing the latter's face entirely. 

 

“Because staying the night with you means we are going to fuck, and I get uncomfortable knowing your grandparents sleep in the room next to us” Jihoon smacked Soonyoung’s sides softly, giggling. 

 

“Fair enough” Soonyoung broke the contact to look at his boyfriend “I'll let you go for today” He let go of the shorter and took his schoolbag to rummage through it, looking for his wallet “Take this, be sure to buy something tasty for you and your mom once she gets home from work” he said, giving him a couple of bills. 

 

“... I can't accept this” Jihoon blinked twice, looking at the money Soonyoung was handing him.

 

“Yes you can, come on. Maybe order some chinese… anything you want”

 

“Why are you giving me your money?”

 

“Because you need it, and I want to make sure you get something delicious for dinner so you can fill your tummy. I don't want you getting skinny and shit”

 

“Soonyoung, I don't need it”

 

“Don't even start with that bullshit, Jihoon. You need it, I know it, you know it. I'm your boyfriend and I want to help you as much as I can… not that this is a lot of money, but I guess it helps. I’m sure if my mom was alive she would like me spending her money helping my beautiful boyfriend”

  
Jihoon bit the inside of his cheeks and nodded softly, taking the money. He then leaned, to kiss Soonyoung’s lips again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to personally say the most difficult part of being in a toxic relationship is realizing you are into one, i know i put minghao into a lot of shit but let's not pretend being involved with someone who abuses you in any way, shape or form doesn't happens or that it doesn't escalates or that sometimes you excuse those things with the bad habit of telling to yourself it's going to stop soon or that it will pass, or that they won't do it again, or even worst, that they do it because they love you; being in a toxic relationship happens to people more often that you'll think, and it starts with small things that doesn't even seem worrying... anyways, just kind of wanted to point that out. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, sweathearts. Please leave your comments telling me anything, even screaming at me for being so shitty(?)


	21. trapped

Wonwoo didn't go to school for two days in a row. And also, didn't answer to any of their messages, so Jun had to do what he was supposed to do.

He knocked at the door, it was 7am and the sky was still dark, air cold since the summer was already over and fall was making its big entrance to the city. He went straight to Wonwoo's house instead of going to school, because he knew something was damn wrong. 

One, two, three knocks, again. And he waited, anxiously, moving his legs and arms; he knew Wonwoo's mom was not home, since she had to leave early for work. 

Jun heard the doorknob being played with and then, the door opened right before his eyes, revealing a very tall, skinny, palid figure wrapped with a long blanket. Wonwoo was wearing pajamas and messy hair, dark circle under swollen eyes... his heart twitched at the sight.

 

"Come in" Wonwoo moved from the door and walked to the stairs, already going upstairs, dragging the blanket. 

 

Jun closed the door and locked it before following Wonwoo upstairs, in complete silence. He went through the hallway and entered Wonwoo's bedroom, closing the door behind him. Inside the curtains were down, blocking any kind of light, under the blankets only Wonwoo's black messy hair pocked out. 

 

"When was the last time you took a shower?" Jun asked, sitting on the floor next to the bed, looking intently at the blankets where the latter was hiding. 

 

The blankets moved softly, probably Wonwoo only shrugged at the question, not saying anything else.

 

"What's going on, babe? What's that crazy little head thinking? You know you can tell me anything and everything..." 

 

A soft whimper came from under the blankets, and then, they started moving softly. Wonwoo was crying under them, as low as possible. Jun immediately stood up to pull softly the blankets so he was able to look at Wonwoo's face.

 

"What's wrong, my love?" Jun softly asked, tilting his head to one side slightly. He motioned for Wonwoo to move and Wonwoo did so, allowing the older to lay at the bed too "I'm worried... and Joshua is worried too, you won't answer our texts. What is going on?" He adjusted himself on one if his sides, looking intently at his lover, one of his hands caressing softly the latter's face. 

 

"I'm tired" Wonwoo managed to say, in between sobbing, eyes closed "I'm too tired" 

 

Jun kept quiet, he knew all that tiredness Wonwoo claimed to have was not jusy physicall. He leaned to kiss the latter's forehead and hugged Wonwoo's skinny frame, caressing gently his back. "It's alright, sweetheart..."

 

"It's not alright, I feel like shit" Wonwoo cried, hugging Jun as hard as possible "This is killing me, this is fucking killing me"

 

"What? What is killing you?"

 

"I got my period"

 

The older took a deep breath, he knew perfectly how Wonwoo suffered each time it happened. Wonwoo's period was complicated, filled with painful cramps, dizziness that almost always ended with throwing up all day and night, high fevers, fainting... of course Wonwoo went to the hospital several times and all the time, doctors told the same thing: It's a normal thing, some  _girls_ get painful periods and they tend to go away after they have kids. Birth control pills help, but not really, because Wonwoo took them and they didn't help at all, so Wonwoo just had to get used to being unable to properly function as a human being during those three to four days. 

 

Jun kissed Wonwoo's forehead again, gently. "Do you want me to get you anything to eat? Something for the pain, maybe"

 

"You know medicine really doesn't take the pain away, my body got used to every single fucking pill and now they don't work like they should" Wonwoo groaned, shrinking a little into fetal position, not letting Jun go. Of course, it was not comfortable, but Wonwoo wanted to feel him close "Mom said everything will be fine but I-" tears started falling down again. 

 

"Indeed, everything will be fine, my precious sweet thing" Jun murmured, pressing small kisses on Wonwoo's head.

 

"I don't know who I am" Wonwoo cried, whimpering against Jun's chest "I don't know what I am, I am so tired of being trapped inside this body, I am so tired of being in this limbo where I am not a boy but I am not a girl, I feel so shitty in my own skin, uncomfortable with it... God, God, fuck... I wish I was  _normal._ I wish I was perfectly fine with being a girl, or a boy, but I don't even know if I'm fine with being one thing or another, I hate this so much... I'm so afraid, Junhui, I'm so afraid of people judging you or Joshua for dating someone like me, I'm afraid others might hurt you both because you are with me, this fucking weird being...  _"_

 

The older's heart broke a little. He was so used to see Wonwoo being a perfectly collected person, so mature, taking care of the others... he sometimes forgot Wonwoo was vulnerable, and could break any moment for stuff like that. Stuff that filled up their body and mind, stuff that sometimes they swallowed in order to live a  _normal_ life, stuff that definitely sank every once in a while, and broke them. "First of all, what is being  _normal,_ baby?" Jun asked, after a short moment in silence "What can be normal for you and me, could be totally weird for others and vice versa. It lays on the eye of the beholder, just like beauty. Second of all, me and Joshua are perfectly finew with dating you,  _you, just as you are,_ because you are the most amazing thing this forsaken earth has ever given us. I swear to God I'm so thankful to him for creating you, my beautiful and amazing little a _lien,_ my amazingly hot and smart partner in crime, the one who takes care so well of our children and buys them cigarettes and weed" Jun laughed, taking Wonwoo's chin to look into their eyes. "I love you so fucking much, I wish you could see yourself with my eyes, see how perfect you are, see how much I love you just the way you are, not changing anything, not even the smallest thing. 

 

I know sometimes it hurts, baby. I know sometimes it's difficult, and you want to die and you are angry and sad and want to throw things down the stairs... but listen to me, you are perfect, Jeon Wonwoo. You with your long-ass legs and your lame jokes, and your toothpick arms that are not able to carry heavy things... you are more than just bone and flesh, my love. You are most than just skin, and I know it's shitty, I wish I could change it, make you feel more comfortable with it, but you are more than just your physical appearance, you are what you have inside. All those beautiful talents, the way you think, the way you laugh, all the values and moral shit you have inside you, your goddamn amazing personality that has everyone behind you. Jeon Wonwoo, you are much more than just a body, you are a heart, a mind, a soul... and I love you so much. You don't have to choose anything, you don't have to choose just because the society says only two fucking genders exist, they can suck my ass, honestly. You are amazing, you are my prince charming, and my lovely princess" 

 

Wonwoo hid their face on Jun's chest and started crying again, whimpering against the latter's school shirt. "Aren't you ashamed to date someone like me? Someone who doesn't know if it's a  _she_ or a  _he?"_

 

"I'm not ashamed, I'm glad. I'm lucky to share the same feeling with an amazing person, with an amazing human who reads novels and writes poetry on a small pink notebook, someone who isn't afraid of fighting even if their body literally weights less than my schoolbag but still stands by their tall figure trying to look intimidating" Jun laughed again, kissing Wonwoo's cheeks. "I'm fucking lucky, if someone ever tries to make fun of me for dating you I will punch them in the dick"

 

"What if it's a girl the one who makes fun?" Wonwoo asked, smiling a little, still crying but in a better mood.

 

"I will kick their vaginas" Jun shrugged, leaning to kiss Wonwoo's nose.

 

 

Wonwoo laughed for the first time in two days. Jun was a ray of sunshine, he was an amazing person. Of course, depression wasn't cured by just a couple of words, it was still shitty to feel out of place being in their own body, but at least, Wonwoo had Jun to make everything more bearable... even if they sometimes acted clingy or distant due to insecurity, even if depression slowly came after her every couple of days after being  _fine,_  having Jun to cheer for them make everything bearable.

 

"You think you dad is ever going to stop beating the fuck out of you?" Jeonghan asked with a soft voice as he tried to heal Seokmin's bruises by rubbing gently ointment on them. 

 

"Nah, not soon, at least" Seokmin shrugged, holding his school's shirt with his left hand.

 

"Dude, that seems pretty bad, you sure you don't want to go see the nurse instead?" Joshua asked, looking intently at the process. They were all gathered at the rooftop, where they could privately heal Seokmin's injuries. 

 

"I won't die by just a couple of bruises on my back, relax"

 

"Is your dad aware that he is a shitty parent?" Soonyoung asked, holding the ointment with his right hand near to Jeonghan, who was busy paying attention at the patterns left on their friend's back.

 

"Yeah, but ask him if he cares" Seokmin rolled his eyes, bored, this situation didn't even scare him anymore.

 

"What did your mom say?" Jihoon asked this time, sitting on the floor, next to Seungkwan, who quietly held Hansol's hand while they two looked.

 

"Before or after he beat her too?" 

 

"Jesus fuck" Soonyoung murmured in disaproval.

 

"What did Chan say?" Jeonghan asked, aware that the youngest of them all knew about the situation.

 

"He wants me to call social services so they can take my dad to jail" Seokmin explained, putting on his school's shirt again, since Jeonghan had already finish.

 

"And?" Jeonghan raised one eyebrow.

 

"You think I'm an idiot? I suggested it to my mom and she almost beat my ass. She says we are going to be left on the streets if dad goes to jail, she doesn't know how to do shit in real life, out there, as to get a job" Seokmin sat on the floor and sighed "I'll just wait until college so I can fucking go away, that's it"

 

Everyone kept quiet, looking at each other, just letting fucking idea sink into their brains.  

 

The bell rang, and everyone stood up from their places, ready to go back to their respective classes.

 

 

"You think Seokmin is really going to be fine?" Hansol stopped Seungkwan mid hallway, looking worried at his boyfriend. 

 

Seungkwan made a face and shrugged, taking a deep breath "I don't really know... he doesn't like talking about his abusive father, but I guess if he says everything is cool, it's because he doesn't want us involved with it"

Hansol nodded softly. He cared, of course he did, he was not a fucking animal. He slowly started caring for everyone in that group, even if they didn't fully accept him... he starting caring for them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well would you look at that, i'm back on my bullshit, mirroring myself with my characters and making them suffer in order to relieve myself a little.
> 
> i just want to kindly say i love each one of you people who read this story, seriously and for real, i'm so thankful and glad you take the time to come and read and leave a message... thank you  
> if you have not left a message yet do it boi, it's free and of course it makes my heart flutter ;; 
> 
> a short one because i just needed this out of my chest, im working on garden's chap


	22. keeping quiet is not always the best option

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah i actually updated this

Jeonghan sighed deeply and threw himself into bed. He looked at the ceiling and covered his face with both hands, later, he let those hands travel south on his body, passing from his chest to his stomach and then to his belly, where they stopped; he lifted his school's uniform shirt and then pressed his hands gently against his skin.

_One month._

One month already passed, and Jeonghan couldn't believe he actually decided to save the money Seungcheol gave him to buy the abortion pill for something else... and actually keep the baby. 

Without even telling his boyfriend.

Or his friends.

Even Wonwoo and Joshua were not aware of the decision.

And it was difficult, because he got nauseous every morning, and he kept having that awful metallic taste in his tongue all day, even if he ate something sweet. Sometimes he threw up, but mostly he preferred to bear with it instead of giving the others reasons to suspect on his condition.

Even at home it was hard. His mom asked questions about how she could hear him throwing up that morning, his sister was always in a bad moon with him and he couldn't explain that, and he was apparently getting too emotional, because right now, tears started rolling down his cheeks as he remembered a dry and stupid  _Ok_  Seungcheol used to answer to his text message earlier.

The message basically answered to his  _Come to my hous_ _e after work, you can stay the night over_ so he was answering a total yes to that petition. But still, why he needed to be so dry with his answers?

Jeonghan rolled on his bed and buried his face on the pillow. What was he even thinking when he took the decision of keeping the baby? He and Seungcheol had nothing. Nothing more than painful memories in their minds and hopes of getting a better lifestyle when they could move out of the shitty city they lived in. Big dreams for two teenagers that knew nothing.

Minghao covered her face with both hands and sobbed softly against them, after buckling her seatbelt. Mingyu sat down next to her, and he took a deep breath before imitating his girlfriend, buckling his seatbelt, closing the door on his side. 

"Stop crying" Mingyu demanded, starting the engine. 

Minghao kept sobbing, trying to be quieter about it, but it was kind of impossible for her, so she just took her hands off her face, leaning her head against the window at her side. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried to stop herself from being  _too noisy._

"I told you I'm sorry, okay?" Mingyu said, after a couple of minutes in total silence, just hearing the girl crying. He stopped the car softly at a red light and turned to see her. 

"Yeah, but it doesn't change the fact that you screamed at me in front of my friends" The slender girl said with a small voice. "I don't like it when you act like that, especially when I'm doing nothing wrong, I was just waiting for you, it's been a while since I last talked to them and I happened to accidentally ran into them... they are my friends, Gyu" 

"I called you like five times and you didn't answer, I waited for you ten whole minutes and you were too busy to notice, I am not your idiot, Minghao" Mingyu explained, focusing on the road now that the light was green again.

"I never said that you were" The chinese girl started crying again, covering her face with both hands "Why are you like this to me?" She sobbed against her hands, unable to calm herself down "Just tell me you want to leave me already"

"You wish, right?" Mingyu shook his head, taking a deep breath "You want me to leave you so you can run into that idiot's arms" 

"I haven't spoken with him in months, Gyu" Minghao turned to look at him, shaking a little due to her intense crying. "You always bring that up, it was a mistake, it's not like I'm married and with kids, cheating on my wife"

The man stopped the car abruptly and turned to look at his girlfriend, slapping her cheek hard with his hand. "Don't fucking cross the line!" He yelled, angry, returning immediately to grab the steering wheel to resume their trip to the girl's work.

Minghao spent the rest of the trip in total silence, shaking, fighting her tears back, and as soon as they arrived, she hurried up to grab her bag and take off her seat belt.

"Give me a kiss" Mingyu demanded, looking at how she was about to get off the car without even saying goodbye.

Minghao hesitated and ended up taking a deep breath, getting closer to kiss her boyfriend on the lips. "Have a nice day" She murmured, not looking at him.

"You too baby, I'll be here when you end your shift so I can take you out to have dinner, would you like that?" He asked, softly grabbing her chin, trying to look at her eyes.

Minghao hesitated again, but as soon as she looked at his eyes, she nodded softly. "But I'll be wearing the uniform..."

"That's not a problem, we will go in a flash shopping date, okay?" Mingyu smiled, kissing her gently on the lips "And later we will have dinner" He kissed those lips again and then he parted, looking intently at the girl. "Then I'll take my princess to have dinner, sounds good?"

Minghao nodded, smiling already. "Sounds good" This time she was the one who leaned to kiss his lps "Have a nice day, my prince"

"I love you"

"I love you too"

And with that, Minghao closed the door, smiling at him, ready to start her shift at the restaurant.

Wonwoo gave Joshua a pat on his butt and then laughed at how startled her boyfriend looked at her actions. Joshua then got closer to Wonwoo and kissed her lips gently a couple of times, holding her face with both hands.  

"You look beautiful today" Joshua said, looking intently at the taller, giving her a small smile.

"And you look very handsome" Wonwoo smiled back, laying down on the latter's bed "Come here, lay down with me and let's take a pic together, I'll send it to Jun, he will regret ditching us for his piano lessons" She wiggled her eyebrows and made some space for her boyfriend to lay next to her.

Joshua just laughed and ended up laying down next to Wonwoo, making weird faces just for the sake of getting some laugh from Junhui later. The taller then put her cellphone down and turned to her side to look at him, smiling softly. "Let's make out" 

Without saying anything back, both of them just got closer and started kissing, eyes closed, tongues touching and being sucked, lips swollen and getting red. 

"I have condoms in my bag" Wonwoo murmured to Joshua's ear, her hands wandering over his chest, undoing the buttons on his school's uniform shirt, biting his earlobe and sucking it gently.

"I'll go get them" Joshua answered, his hands under Wonwoo's school's skirt, grabbing her ass, his lips too busy kissing her neck.

"Go now" Wonwoo said, getting impatient, palming the latter's erection over his pants "Go right now, Hong" 

"It will be easier if you didn't have your hand on my dick" Joshua answered, laughing over her neck, placing more soft kisses on that skin before parting to get the condoms.

"When are your parents coming back home?" The taller asked, undoing her own shirt buttons, so her boyfriend wouldn't struggle with that later.

"They are now at that event in Church, so probably around three hours more" He answered, shrugging, taking his shirt off and leaving it on the floor.

"Oh, Jun is going to regret not coming with us" Wonwoo laughed, spreading her legs so her boyfriend could her between them. 

Joshua showed her the condom he was holding in his left hand and leaned to kiss her lips gently. "He will, he doesn't like missing the chance of seeing our butts" 

"You mean your butt, I don't have one of those" She laughed, scrunching her nose hugging the latter's neck "Hurry, put that thing on your dick" 

Joshua nodded and he took off his pants and underwear, opening the condom so he could put it on his erection.

Soonyoung hummed softly, nodding at the words that Seokmin was telling him and Jihoon, now that the three of them were walking to Chan's house. 

"So, for Chan's birthday we are inviting to smoke weed?" Jihoon asked, shrugging softly later "Sounds like a plan for me, and I do think he is going to like it. Tell us if you think about anything else"

"You think Wonwoo will lend her house for that celebration?" Soonyoung asked, curious, hands inside his pockets. 

"I do think so, but if not, I will ask Jun" Seokmin shrugged "There's always that plan of not actually smoking weed and instead buying him a cake"

"Lame" Jihoon said, making Soonyoung snort at that "Let's give the kid, and us, that gift. You think you can get it, Soonie?"

It took Soonyoung a good whole minute to understand that Jihoon was actually calling him a pet name, and immediately, his heart skipped a beat, a big smile forming in his lips until his eyes were crescent moons "I do think I can get it, but if not, we always have Wonwoo, I'll ask her" he took out his left hand from inside his pocket and without hesitation, he took Jihoon's hand, squeezing it gently.

Jihoon looked at him from the corner of his eye and only curled the tips of his lips up a bit, satisfied with the action taken by his boyfriend. He intertwined fingers and then turned his gaze to the front.

They all stopped outside Chan's house and Seokmin took out his cellphone, texting his boyfriend that they were already outside, ready to go waste some time at the arcade near that area.

"I'm going to beat your asses, I hope you know that" Soonyoung claimed, excited, looking at his two friends.

"I like it when you get excited over things like that" Jihoon said, looking at the taller.

Soonyoung's cheeks went a soft shade of pink.

"Because when  _I_ beat  _your_ ass at the arcade, it will be one hundred times better" Jihoon added.

Seokmin cackled, clapping and everything.

"Betrayal" Soonyoung claimed, squeezing Jihoon's hand gently.

"Just a little, to have more fun" Jihoon shrugged, pushing the older gently with his free hand. 

Chan came out of his house running, his cellphone in one hand and a sweater on the other. 

"Mom wouldn't let me go out if I didn't wear a sweater" He explained, rolling his eyes. "She also asked if Jeonghan was coming, so for the record, if she later asks, let's say she came with us"

"She really likes Jeonghan, right?" Seokmin asked, pulling his boyfriend into an embrace, kissing one of his temples.

"She trusts Jeonghan" Chan shrugged "She thinks Jeonghan is like my conscience, like the one he keeps me  _on the good side"_

Seokmin hummed and then nodded in agreement. He thought it was most likely true.

Seungcheol knocked at the Yoon residence's door and Jeonghan's mom opened, letting him go inside the house. She later told him Jeonghan was not feeling well, but that  _she_ was upstairs, watching tv and resting in bed. So, he went upstairs and knocked again, this time at Jeonghan's door; when no one came to open, Seungcheol decided to enter anyways. 

Jeonghan was asleep, covered up to his neck with his bedsheets, lips slightly parted, eyes closed. The older male closed the door behind him and walked to the bed, smiling at the scene... he kneeled down in front of his boyfriend and gently caressed his hair, leaning then to press a kiss on his forehead. 

That seemed to startle the younger, because he opened his eyes suddenly, holding his breath until his eyes got used to the light. "Idiot" he complained, breathing normally again when he realized it was just his boyfriend "I still have war flashbacks" He chuckled, but that lowkey made Seungcheol feel bad. 

"Your mom said you are not feeling okay" Seungcheol said, still caressing the latter's hair, looking at his eyes intently, leaning to press a couple of kisses on his lips.

"Yeah" Jeonghan shrugged "I'm not feeling my best, I think I need..." He moved, making enough space for Seungcheol to take his place under the bedsheets next to him "cuddles"

Seungcheol chuckled and nodded, hugging Jeonghan from behind as soon as the younger turned his back at him. "Everything went okay at school today?" He asked, pressing kisses on Jeonghan's shoulder.

"I guess" Jeonghan shrugged "Just cuddle me and give me kisses" he demanded. And Seungcheol obeyed.

But when Seungcheol's hand's wandered from his waist to his belly and caressed it with  _a lot_ of affection, Jeonghan bit his lower lip. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls comment


	23. Everything will fall into place...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon's birthday is coming soon. Mingyu offers something as an exchange for a favor, Minghao can't wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there i actually updated this can u believe it

Seungkwan rolled his eyes as he waited for Hansol to stop speaking with the new girl of their class. It was uncommon to have new students just as the year was about to end, but then again, he was there, just tired at how the girl shamelessly flirted with his boyfriend. 

 

“I can give you my phone number, that way will be easier for me to ask you if I have any doubt about the English homework and so” The girl shrugged, looking intently at the boy’s eyes. 

 

“That won't be necessary, we are in the same class already” Seungkwan spoke, crossing his arms at the height of his chest “Can we go now, Hansol? I'm starving, I really wanna go eat something before the lunchtime is over” 

 

“Yeah, let's go” Hansol nodded softly. He shrugged at the girl and offered her a small smile, being quickly to grab Seungkwan’s hand to leave the classroom. 

 

“God, I can't believe she was flirting so shamelessly with you, right in front of my salad” Seungkwan rolled his eyes again, Hansol only laughed softly.

 

“You don't have to worry, she is not my type. Besides… i already have a girlfriend” Hansol wiggled his eyebrows and that earned him a punch in his shoulder. “It was worth it”

 

“Idiot” Seungkwan only smiled, leading him to the cafeteria, were their friends were already gathered eating. 

  
  
  
  


“I already said I don't want a party” Jihoon didn't even lifted his head to look at the others, he was too busy mixing shaking his juice box before opening it, just as the instructions said. 

 

“Nice wrist movement” Wonwoo wiggled his eyebrows.

 

Soonyoung snorted and Jihoon showed Wonwoo his middle finger, only to smile at him later, when he was already drinking from the bottle. 

 

“You are so fucking lame, Jihoon” Seokmin said, not looking at the latter, he was too busy examining his sandwich “You are so lame you make baby Jesus cry, right Josh?” 

 

“Technically, babies cry over everything… but yeah, let's say this time he is crying over Jihoon’s lameness” Joshua shrugged, giving Jihoon a small smile, he understood why the other didn't wanted to celebrate, he knew the reasons, everyone in their group knew the reasons, but that didn’t meant they were going to just accept it, especially Jeonghan. 

 

Joshua lifted his head to look around the table. “Where's Jeonghan?”

 

“He said he was going to the bathroom because he wasn't feeling well” Junhui explained, taking a look at the table, now realizing the latter was not there.

 

“Maybe he is still sick of his stomach, he told me he ate something a couple of days ago that had him throwing up the entire night” Soonyoung spoke, turning his head to look at the door, just wanting to make sure Jeonghan was not walking through it right now “But he looks way too tired, do you think he went to the doctor already?”

 

Joshua hummed softly and turned his head to look at Junhui, who only shrugged softly. 

 

“Go check him, babe” Junhui asked Wonwoo, who immediately stood up, nodding.

 

“I'll leave” Wonwoo said, pushing his glasses back into his nose bridge with his index finger “Jihoon, you can't say no so please just tell them you want to get wasted and eat cake and regret the following day” 

 

“I want to get wasted and regret the next day” Jihoon rolled his eyes and sighed, there was no way to convince his friends to  _ skip  _ his birthday.

 

“Just what I thought” Junhui smiled, pleased.

 

“Time to start creating an excuse for Chan to go” Seokmin rubbed his hands together.

 

“Jeonghan will cut your fingers if he finds out you touched his son” Joshua smiled, looking intently at his friend's reaction.

 

“Come on, Jeonghan knows his son” Seokmin whined, pouting. “Besides, he is mature for his age”

 

“Good, you sound like an actual pedophile” Hansol murmured, holding back his urge to laugh.

 

Everyone else started laughing.

 

“Good one, bro” Soonyoung gave him thumbs up before returning to his duty of finishing his lunch.

 

Hansol smiled, he felt more accepted. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Jeonghannie?” Wonwoo entered the bathroom and stopped to look at the bottom of the stalls, he was not able to see any pair of shoes. Not a single one. “Are you here, Hannie?” He asked again, running a hand through his black hair, it was already too long, but maybe this time he would let it grow. 

 

Wonwoo remained in silence a couple of seconds and then walked to the door. He pulled it to open and then he just released, pretending to leave the bathroom. 

 

A soft sob could be heard at the inside of the last stall. He walked there cautiously, trying to be as silent as possible, then he heard it again. Someone was crying inside that stall. 

  
  


“I know you are there, Hannie” Wonwoo spoke softly, a hand resting on the door “What's wrong?” 

 

“Don't make me talk about this” Jeonghan said from inside the stall, with a small, weak voice.

 

“I will, you know that” Wonwoo knocked the door softly “Open, tell me what's wrong”

  
  


The door opened in front of him and a crying Jeonghan was revealed. Cheeks, nose and eyes red due to crying, he was sitting on the closed toilet lid, hands on his lap. 

 

“What's wrong, baby?” Wonwoo asked, kneeling in front of Jeonghan, looking at the shorter intently. 

 

“I want to die” Jeonghan cried, closing his eyes covering his face with both hands. 

 

“Chtss, don't say that” Wonwoo stood up, getting near to Jeonghan to hug him tightly “Don't say such things, you have a lot of things to live for”

 

“But why?” Jeonghan asked, hugging Wonwoo by his middle with both arms, burying his face on the latter's stomach “Why do I have to live like this? I’m so miserable, Wonwoo…” 

 

Wonwoo patted Jeonghan’s head softly. He took a deep breath and nodded, he knew exactly what the other was talking about. 

 

“I have to wake up every morning and face the fact that I am not who I want to be, I look at myself and I literally cry because I am not this, I don't want to be this” Jeonghan sobbed, unable to stop himself “And every time I get my period I cry endlessly because I have to deal with the fact that I was born like this, and there's no way to change it, even if I start fucking treatment, which I won't be allowed to because my mother thinks it's just a phase… even if I do that I will always be this, this mess. This fucking mess of a person-” Jeonghan stopped mid sentence and kneeled in front of the toilet, he opened the lid and started to throw up.

 

Wonwoo took a deep breath and kneeled by his side, caressing his back gently. “I know how you feel, baby…” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss in his shoulder “And I know you have been facing endless shit from life, this problem, that idiot who I still want to kill with my own two hands, your mom not being able to understand or support you, I know it all. But you are such a pretty human being, an amazing human being, you are pure joy to every single one of us who are close to you… Hannie, I know it's shitty, I know you want to scream, you want to die, you feel like you are going crazy…but you are not alone, you have us, you have Cheol. You have things to come that will make you feel like  _ wow, good thing I stayed until this point to see how wonderful it gets”  _ Wonwoo took a deep breath “It sounds like shit, it sounds so cliche, but I can swear to you, with my life, that it actually gets better. You are totally free to cry and be depressed, do it, but don't let this fucker betray you” Wonwoo softly patted Jeonghan’s head and then he pressed a kiss on it. 

 

Jeonghan nodded softly, trying to take deep breaths in order to stop feeling nausea. “Thank you, baby” he managed to smile.

 

“And you can't leave me here, taking care of all the others, I need you, Seokmin already wants to taint Chan” Wonwoo hugged the shorter briefly.

 

Jeonghan snorted “I will kill him if he dares to touch my son” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Minghao started coughing, her face turned red and her eyes started to water, Mingyu was choking her as he fucked her into the mattress. 

 

“You look so pretty like this, baby” Mingyu groaned, moving his hips faster, without stopping the way he pressed his hand on the girl's neck. 

 

The red-haired girl closed her eyes, she was starting to feel dizzy due to the lack of oxygen. Just then, Mingyu stopped choking her and he leaned to kiss her lips a couple of times, softly, stopping his hips too. 

 

“Fuck” Minghao complained, opening her eyes again. She licked her lips and softly pushed Mingyu with both hands “Let me ride you” 

 

Mingyu obeyed what his girlfriend told him, and in less than a minute he was lying in bed, on his back. He watched as Minghao got up and crawled onto his lap, her long slender legs at each sides of his body. She took his dick and placed it at her entrance, sliding slowly down it. 

 

Both of them moaned and immediately after it, Mingyu went to place his hands at Minghao's hips. The girl started moving up and down, leaning to kiss her boyfriend’s chest, his neck, his collarbones, his jawline. 

 

“I love you” Minghao moaned, without stopping her movements on top of the man. 

 

“I love you too, baby” Mingyu answered, his hands wandering to his girlfriend's butt, only to squeeze it. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**dick squad**

  
  
  


**1woo:**

so, for the next  _ wasted weekend _ my house is the house of the indecency

 

**real smooth cha-chan:**

as expected from mother alien

 

**1woo:**

i would never let my kids down

 

**hannie:**

stop trying to steal my kid

 

**SUNyoung:**

how are we convincing chan's parents to let him come

 

**wen u stop:**

with the yoon magic

 

**lee #1:**

i still don't know why u all insisted on doing this

 

**josssshhhhh:**

just enjoy don't ask questions

 

**hannie:**

i see u already got tainted by them……..

 

i approve

 

i'll do my yoon magic, don't worry, channie, my kid

 

**lee #2:**

make sure my boi is coming

 

**1woo:**

that's ur job seokmin

 

**hannie:**

snort

 

**kwannie <3:**

snort

 

**wen u stop:**

snort

 

**hannie:**

cheolie is home, i'll talk to y’all later

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jeonghan left his cellphone on the bed as he got up to hug his boyfriend with both arms by the neck. He was wearing pajama pants and a big hoodie that was from Seungcheol at some point.

  
  


“Welcome” Jeonghan kissed his lips a couple of times, clingy, he was still feeling sad and nothing was better for him than to have his boyfriend hugging him and kissing his face.

 

“Everything went good today?” Seungcheol asked, placing his hands at Jeonghan’s waist, squeezing it gently and placing a kiss on his forehead. 

 

“Yeah” The younger nodded “Let's go to bed, come on” 

 

“You don't want to go outside?” Seungcheol asked, stopping midway to the bed, smiling as he looked at his boyfriend “Maybe we can go eat something, or take a walk near”

 

“I don't want to, I want to cuddle in bed with you” Jeonghan pouted, sitting at the edge of the bed without letting go his boyfriend's hand.

 

Seungcheol sat at his side and looked intently at the younger. “All you wanna do is sleep, baby… Are you sad again? You only sleep this much when you are feeling depressed…”

 

Jeonghan looked away without saying anything, but without letting go the latter's hand. 

 

“You can tell what's happening, my love… if you don't talk to me I can't help you, I can’t do nothing, angel” The elder leaned to press kisses on Jeonghan’s head and then in his cheek “I'm here for you, we are a team, I love you”

 

Jeonghan nodded softly, and then she shrugged. 

 

“I'm pregnant” he announced, without looking at his boyfriend “I didn't took it out, I'm maybe two months or so” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I need a favor” Mingyu announced, between the kisses he was giving to Minghao's shoulder and back. 

 

“What kind of favor?” The girl asked, curious. 

 

“It's a big one but… I'll take you meet my family, you want that?” Mingyu asked.

 

Minghao immediately turned to look at him, the biggest of the smiles on her lips. “Really?”

 

“Really, babe. This weekend, but I need a favor on Friday” 

 

“Anything you want, babe” She nodded, excited, she couldn't believe Mingyu was going to take her to meet his family.

 

“I'll call you, okay? And I will go pick you up, babe” He kissed her lips a couple of times and smiled. “I love you, thank you”

 

“I'm so excited, Gyu” Minghao hugged her boyfriend and placed a kiss on his lips. 

Everything was going to fall into place eventually, she was sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls comment, it makes me happy


	24. reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hansol has an encounter with what made him being the way he was in the first place. Seungkwan's ghosts still haunt him. Joshua is a good kid, sick of what other's think. Jeonghan will be fine. Minghao does Mingyu a favor and then calls Seungcheol for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i added another tag just in case u are curious

Seungkwan sat down at the edge of the bed and took a deep breath, with his eyes closed. He was tired, and also he was having a headache… since last night, before he went to sleep. He thought maybe getting some rest was going to fix it, but apparently he was very wrong, because he was starting to feel nausea just from the pain. 

 

Also, in the last couple of days, he felt dizzy. The first time it happened he was in the shower, everything started moving and he got startled when he realized he was the one  _ moving.  _ The second time it happened he was in class, and again, everything started moving. 

The third time he was casually laying down on bed, he felt the bed moving and his head started pounding, so now along with the dizziness, he had headaches. 

  
  


He let his body fell into the mattress, he closed his eyes and again, he took a deep breath. He knew something was not okay in his body, something was wrong and he was not going to pretend he didn't know why. 

Habits are things hard to get rid of. So, of course, skipping meals, inducing himself into throwing up, and so, were things that Seungkwan was still doing. Secretly.

 

The boy took his cellphone and started going through his messages, most of them were from the  _ dick squad,  _ hyping up at how wasted they were going to get next day. He was not really in the mood, but this was the first party where Hansol was invited, and that made it special. It also made him smile. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Gyu <3:**

I’ll pick you up at 7, please be ready, Hao.

  
  
  


If her man asked politely for her to be ready at that time, Minghao was certainly going to do so. She still didn't have a clue of where he was taking her, but she tried to look as casual as she was able to be. She didn't put makeup on, and she dressed with a pastel yellow dress that complimented her skin tone and hair color magnificently. Her long red locks were tied up in a tall pony tail. 

 

When Mingyu called her announcing that he was downstairs in the parking lot, she didn't waste time into putting on her shoes and going downstairs, after kissing her dad's cheek and hugging him. She was happy, wherever Mingyu was taking her, whatever the favor he needed was, she was happy. 

 

Minghao entered the car and didn't waste time into hugging her boyfriend’s neck and kissing his lips. Mingyu kissed her back, but only briefly, announcing that they had to be somewhere soon. Then Minghao realized Mingyu was dressed too fancy in comparison with her. 

  
  


“You should have told me to dress fancy too” Minghao pouted, buckling her seatbelt. 

 

“You look gorgeous, baby” Mingyu chuckled “And you don't need to, don't worry” he said, stopping at a red light. “Thank you for doing this, tomorrow I will pay it back, I will take you to meet my parents as I promised, I want you to know them and I want them to know you too, honey”

 

Minghao’s heart skipped a beat. She nodded softly and enjoyed the rest of the ride in silence, holding hands with Mingyu when they could, kissing his cheek and enjoying the kisses he stole from her too. 

  
  


They stopped after a thirty minutes ride at a street full of nice and big houses. A fancy neighbourhood, a part of the city Minghao didn't even know that existed… she couldn't help but to stare at the houses, even in her dreams she never visited a house like that before. 

  
  


“Let's go, baby” Mingyu got out of the car after kissing her lips a couple of times. 

 

Minghao followed him, shy, curious. “Where are we going?” she asked, in a little voice, almost worried that someone was going to notice she didn't fit there. 

 

Mingyu didn't answer, he just kept walking by her side, until he stopped in front of one of the houses. “Now, please don't make a scene” he said, grabbing the doorknob to open the door.

 

The girl tilted her head a little, not really understanding what was going on. 

  
  


“Gyu, we are running late!” A woman's voice came from inside the house as soon as her boyfriend opened the door.  

 

“I'm back, I'm back. Are you ready?” Mingyu walked into the house, pulling Minghao by one of her wrists, so she would get inside the house too. 

 

The woman stopped to give Minghao a look from head to toe. “Hey, there” She smiled. “You have such a baby face, how cute” She patted Minghao’s cheeks softly with her two hands smiling widely. “I'm Eunwoo, Mingyu told me he had the perfect babysitter for our baby girl and I'm already loving you”

 

Minghao’s stomach sank. She turned her head to look at her boyfriend, who smiled at her. 

 

“I told you, Minghao is a nice, good girl, she is the niece of one of my co-workers” Mingyu lied, walking towards the kitchen to leave the two ladies alone. 

 

“I'm so glad you could come to watch our Minah tonight, you probably had to cancel plans and everything, being so young and beautiful you should have tons of friends and a boyfriend, on a Friday night… I apologise for that, I tried cancelling this, but it's my cousin's wedding and we have to be there” Eunwoo sighed, then she smiled at Minghao. “Please make yourself at home, our baby is upstairs sleeping, she won't cause any trouble but she can't stay alone, right?” The woman laughed and Minghao did that too, just to avoid crying in front of her. 

 

“We have to leave” Mingyu came back from the kitchen and passed next to them, taking Eunwoo’s wrist gently to hurry her up. “We’ll back soon, please make yourself at home, Hao”

 

“I love your hair, gorgeous, please take good care of our Minah and feel free to watch tv or make something for dinner” Eunwoo waved at the girl and smiled, walking quickly to car. 

 

Mingyu ran inside the house for a couple of seconds just to try kissing Minghao on the lips, but she turned her head. 

 

“Go” She said, without looking at him.

 

“Thank you” Mingyu kissed her head instead, then he left. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Hansol sat down at the bench with Sofia, his little sister, at his left side. They were waiting for their mother to pay for the things she bought at one of the stores, but they were too bored to wait inside said store. 

  
  


“Vernonie” Sofia called his big brother, looking at him with those big beautiful eyes of her. 

 

“Hmm?” Hansol turned his head to look at the girl.

 

“Can we get ice cream?” The girl pointed with one of her index fingers to the ice-cream parlor at the other side of the mall. 

 

“Of course, let me just tell mom we are going there” Hansol gave a smile to his little sister and stood up from the bench “You know the rules, no talking to strangers, no standing up and wandering around, I am literally just going to enter the store to tell mom and I'll be back”

 

“I promise, Vernonie” Sofia nodded softly and then smiled brightly to the older, raising her pinky finger as a promise. 

 

Hansol chuckled and got up from the bench, walking towards the place his mom was in. 

  
  


“Sof and I are going to get ice cream” He announced, looking intently at his mother, who was currently struggling with choosing a pink dress or a green one. 

 

“Be careful, my love” His mother smiled at him “Which one is better?” She asked, looking intently at her son.

 

“Both of them will look good on you” Hansol answered, shrugging. 

 

“Grab money from my wallet and buy you and Sofia some ice cream” His mother smiled.

  
  


Hansol did what his mother told him. He grabbed her purse and rummaged through it, taking the wallet out to take some money, just enough to buy ice cream. He then put everything back in place. 

 

The boy turned to smile at his mother, and he casually met eyes with some people who worked at the store, they were looking intently at them, arms crossed, murmuring things. 

He knew he and his family were easy to ignore, especially when they were alone with their mother, who didn't know korean and spoke in English to them always. 

 

Hansol waved to his mother and went out of the store. 

  
  


“Time to eat some ice cream” Hansol announced in English, smiling at the little girl. 

 

“I want mine with cherries on top” Sofia’s face lightened up with the biggest of the smiles. 

  
  
  
  


_ “Do you think they are famous people?”  _

 

_ “They look like they might be famous people” _

  
  


Hansol heard some girls talking at their back as he and his sister walked towards the ice-cream parlour. 

  
  


_ “I'll ask them for a photo”  _

 

_ “I want a photo with them too, how exotic they are, imagine having such big eyes” _

  
  


The Chwe siblings entered the ice-cream parlour and Hansol didn't hesitate into asking his little sister which flavor she preferred, in English. Sofia, without thinking too much, chose chocolate. With a cherry on top. 

At the corner of his eye he saw the two girls who were previously following them, they were taking pictures from a far. 

  
  


He was about to order something when he heard one of the people working there. 

 

_ “I hate serving things to foreigners, they took too fucking long to order, it's just ice cream” _

  
  
  
  


It was difficult to be different. When he lived in America he was  _ the asian one,  _ now that he lived in Korea he was  _ the american one.  _ So he was always in between, always being called  _ exotic,  _ as if he was some kind of animal for the personal amusement of the others who surrounded him. And that hurt. 

 

He tried so hard to fit in, he did stupid things in order to stop feeling different, in order to blend with his classmates. He turned into someone he wasn't and treated Seungkwan bad just to be the strong one, at least for once. 

  
  


“Two chocolate cones, please” He said in English, starting to feel less excited about the ice cream.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Minghao entered the room Mingyu and his wife, Eunwoo, shared. She sat down on at the edge of the mattress and sighed deeply, shaking with the urge to cry. 

Her eyes started to water and she just gave up into fighting her tears back as she examined the room completely, from where she was. 

 

It smelled like Mingyu. 

 

She turned to see one of the night stands and got closer to it to grab a picture of Mingyu and his wife on their wedding day that was framed, perfectly positioned there. 

He looked so handsome. And she looked so beautiful too… and the worst part was that she was also extremely nice. 

  
  


Minghao felt her stomach unsettled. The thought of her calling Eunwoo a  _ bitch  _ before when she was a sweet lady, someone who didn't probably even know what was going on, someone who didn't even had the idea in mind of her husband cheating on her. 

And now she was there, invading not only their marriage but their life, their house. She felt extremely bad about it. 

 

The girl smiled bitterly, leaving the photo in the place where she took it before. She stood up and walked around the room, without holding her tears, looking at the photos they had around and how happy they looked in all of them. 

  
  


She left the room after rummaging through some of Mingyu’s clothes and walked towards the baby’s room. Minghao entered and stood beside the crib, looking intently at the little girl, who was sleeping peacefully. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Minghao:**

can you come pick me up? i’m a bit far, babysitting, i have a ride but i don't want to take it.. if you are busy don't worry about it

  
  


**Seungcheol:**

send me the address and i’ll be there as soon as i can, i was also wondering if we could meet, i need to talk with you about something

  
  


**Minghao:**

deal, i'll send you my location, please be careful on your way here

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Joshua took a deep breath and closed the bible that was sitting in front of him, on the dining table. 

 

“Tomorrow I'll spend the night at Wonwoo’s house” he announced, looking at his mother, who was cooking dinner, from the corner of his eye. 

 

“Again?” His mother made a face while she watched intently the cooking process of the pasta she was preparing. “You know I don't like it when you stay over there, in that girl’s house with all the others, it's not right, Joshua. You are a bunch of teenagers without the supervision of an adult”

 

“Wonwoo’s mother is going to be there, like always” Joshua said, rolling his eyes just because his mother was not looking at him.

 

“That's the same as being without any kind of supervision, that woman was not able to keep an eye on her marriage, or her kid, let alone a bunch of other kids that are not hers” 

 

“Mom”

 

“You know it's true, Joshua”

 

“That's what you learn in church? To judge others? I thought the only one who could judge others was God himself”

 

“Joshua Hong, don't cross the line” His mother warned him, that was not a way to talk to her “What I'm trying to say here is that I don't like it when you stay there with all of your friends, especially that Yoon girl, and that Jeon girl. They are girls, Joshua, it's not okay that you spend the night and sleep altogether”

 

“Wonwoo's mom is going to be there, mom. We are good kids, don't you trust me?” Joshua raised one of his eyebrows at his mom and the woman just sighed deeply. 

 

“Of course I trust my son. That's why your dad and me allow you to keep talking to them, I know you are going to save them, you are going to get them to the right path” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Pass it, you loser” Joshua complained, furrowing eyebrows as he looked at Soonyoung, who was taking his turn to smoke the joint. He was sitting between Jun’s legs, his back resting on the taller’s chest. 

 

Jun snorted, and he placed a kiss on top of Joshua’s head. They were all sitting at the backyard in Wonwoo’s house, smoking weed in the name of Jihoon’s birthday. 

 

“You get bossy when you are high” Wonwoo said, smiling at Joshua, sitting with Jun at his left side. “I like that, I'll make a mental note on it”

 

“Let's finish before mom comes back” Jihoon took his turn to smoke and passed it, closing his eyes at the sensation and putting on a small smile. 

 

“Happy birthday, U-Ji” Soonyoung leaned to kiss his boyfriend's cheek. “I actually have a gift but I'll give it to you later”

 

“It's his dick” Seokmin said without hesitation and all the others started laughing.

 

“I want the dick, shut the fuck up” Jihoon raised his middle finger and then leaned to kiss Soonyoung’s lips.

 

“Ah, romance is not dead” Chan rolled his eyes and Seungkwan snickered at it, nodding his head softly. 

 

“Is Seungcheol coming?” Hansol asked, looking at  _ the trio.  _

 

Jun, Joshua and Wonwoo turned their heads and then looked at each other. “Hard to know, man” Jun said, shrugging.

 

“Jeonghan didn't say anything, he just told me he didn't want to come out and smoke” Wonwoo added, leaning to kiss Joshua’s cheek. 

 

“I'll go check on him” Seokmin stood up and passed the joint to Chan, who gladly took it between his fingers. “I'll back be back soon” 

 

Chan nodded and watched as his boyfriend exhaled the smoke, then the taller walked away, inside the house. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Hey, bro” Seokmin entered the house and walked towards Jeonghan, who was laying down on the largest couch, watching tv as he ate the last slice of pizza. 

 

Jeonghan turned his head to look at the taller and smiled weakly. “Hey, bro. You ran out of weed already?”

 

“Nah, I'm just checking on you” Seokmin sat down at his side and gently combed Jeonghan's soft brown hair with his fingers. “Is Seungcheol coming?”

 

Jeonghan shook his head. “He is not. He is mad at me and won't talk to me, so most likely he is not coming” 

 

“Is that why you didn't want to come out with us? You are sad?” Seokmin asked.

 

“Nah, I just don't want it to come out as fucked up as I am, it already has it in the genes, I don't want to risk it more” Jeonghan shrugged, giving Seokmin a small smile “How are you? Are things better at your house?”

 

“Ehhh” Seokmin made a face and then he just rolled his eyes “You know how this things are, one day we are eating peacefully together and the next day, dad is beating the shit out of me and my mom just because we asked him to stop being a jerk”

 

“Everyday’s shit” Jeonghan nodded and then he sat correctly to give Seokmin a hug. “You have us, you have that going for you. And you have Chan, that's a big plus… my son is a very good kid, so he will take good care of you and you will take care of him, hm?” 

 

“Of course” Seokmin chuckled, hugging Jeonghan back. “You gonna be alright? You know, with all this shit… Seungcheol being mad, your mom's reaction, what implies you having a kid”

  
“I have been in worse scenarios” Jeonghan snorted, but Seokmin could easily see that it was not funny at all for him “I am a rude guy, I'll be fine” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always feel awkward when someone tells me this fic treats important things happening in society these days, i have never said this before but mostly, this fic, is either based on personal experiences or experiences people near me lived/are living. i also feel extremely happy when someone tells me they feel good they have trans characters they can identify with TRANS PEOPLE EXIST, GENDER NEUTRAL PEOPLE EXIST, GENDER BENDER PEOPLE EXIST, ASEXUAL PEOPLE EXIST, WE ARE ALL VALID. 
> 
>  
> 
> also, since i am a slave from.the system and i have a shitty job, i added the racism tag because is something that happens, THESE THINGS HAPPEN. THIS ARE REAL THINGS HAPPENING OUT THERE. i don't want to act like im wake as fuck bc i am only a little boy who knows nothing about life, but recently i am encountering a lot with racism towards other people and me, myself. And i want u all to know i cried like an entire night about it, judging someone because how they look or where they come from... ???? excuse me ????
> 
>  
> 
> anyways thank you for reading my long as fuck explanation, pls leave comments i have a family to feed and i am poor   
> follow me at insta @paradoxx420 and let's complain about life together and let's talk about how i make my characters suffer bc i am a piece of trash  
> I love y'all


	25. my love, he makes me feel like nobody else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wasted weekend takes out the best in them. Minghao and Seungcheol make a small mistake.

Minghao took the time to wander around the house, looking inside all the rooms, her heart breaking each time she opened and closed a different door. Life there seemed to be perfect, and with her own two eyes she was able to confirm that Mingyu lied to her all the time. 

He and Eunwoo didn't sleep in different rooms, all their things were together at the same room. They had pictures together laying around the house, and in them they seemed to be very happy together... if Minghao had to be honest, they seemed to be the perfect couple. And Minah, their daughter, was just so beautiful. She was an angel.

"A daughter" Minghao smiled bitterly, looking at her. Minah was asleep and Minghao couldn't help but to notice how she looked like a small version of Mingyu, she was a beautiful girl. She stood there, in silence, just looking at her.

She noticed how the baby started moving, and started panicking. Minghao knew nothing about babies, nothing except that they were extremely delicate. 

Baby Minah opened her eyes and stared at Minghao. She started crying immediately.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" Minghao looked everywhere trying to see if she was able to see something she could use to calm the baby down. A toy, a feeding bottle, something she could use. The girl bit her lower lip, tears were falling from Minah's small eyes and she couldn't be more afraid and worried. Her instinct told her to pick the baby up, but holding a baby was something she never did before.

Being as cautious and soft as she could be, she carried the baby with both arms and placed her between them, near her chest. Baby Minah stopped crying as soon as Minghao started humming softly to her. 

"It's been a shitty day, all I want to do is lay down on bed and sleep" Hansol complained, entering Seungkwan's house, after the older opened the door for him.

Seungkwan smiled softly, closing the door behind his boyfriend. "You came to my house to sleep? Seriously, Hansol?" 

"It's not like that, Kwannie" Hansol nodded softly and took Seungkwan's hand, pulling it so he could follow him upstairs, to the latter's room. 

They entered and immediately went straight to bed after closing the door behind them. 

"I really need to get wasted and smoke some weed" Hansol said, as he sat down on the mattress.

"That's the attitude" Seungkwan smiled, sitting at his left side. "Wanna make out until tomorrow when that can happen or you really want to sleep?" 

Hansol looked at him and chuckled. "How can I pass an opportunity like that?"

"I know you won't, baby" Seungkwan gave him a smug smile, leaning to kiss him on the lips.

"Hao! Hao, we are home!" Mingyu called the girl from the living room as soon as he entered the house. 

Minghao came down the stairs slowly, still carrying Minah along with her, asleep between her arms. She looked at the older and then looked back at the baby.

"Oh? She woke up and cried until you grabbed her?" Eunwoo entered the house and smiled as soon as she saw Minghao with her daughter asleep in her arms. "That's so she... that means she likes you" The woman got closer to Minghao and took Minah carefully. "Thank you so much for taking care of her, gorgeous" 

"You're welcome" Minghao took a deep breath and lowered her sight until she was looking at her shoes "She is cute and smells good" She awkwardly added, not knowing what else to say due to how uncomfortable she felt, she had a lot of mixed feelings.

"Minah likes you, so if we ever go out again, I will call you... If you're not too busy with your own stuff" Eunwoo got closer and kissed Minghao on the cheek "Thank you, again, Hao"

"I will take you home" Mingyu looked at both of them and took his keys out of his back pocket "Let's go"

"That won't be necessary" Minghao shook her head softly. 

"You live too far from here" Mingyu furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at his girlfriend "And I promised your dad I will take you back home when I came back from the wedding" He added, so he wouldn't look to suspicious in front of his wife.

The doorbell rang two times. 

"Someone came to pick me up, so you don't have to worry, dad already knows and he said it was okay, he doesn't want you to drive since it's too late already" Minghao started walking to the front door, more than ready to leave.

"That was not part of the deal we made" Mingyu was starting to lose his coolness, he didn't know how much he could fake it "I told your dad I will take you back home and I will pay you for this favor".

Minghao opened the door and bit her lower lip, looking intently at Seungcheol, who looked back at her, and then, he looked at Mingyu, who was standing behind her.

"Who is that handsome man?" Eunwoo asked, standing next to Mingyu, smiling, unaware of the drama that was actually going on right there in front of her.

Seungcheol looked at her too, confused.

"This is Seungcheol" Minghao squeezed the doorknob, still looking at her friend "My boyfriend, he came to pick me up" She said, mouthing a  _I'm so sorry_ to the latter.

"What?" Mingyu furrowed his eyebrows, he was about to lose his shit.

"Ready to go baby?" Seungcheol asked, getting closer to his friend so he could hug her tightly. He now knew what was going on, and he was also sure Minghao was fighting back he urge to cry.

The red-haired girl nodded softly. She turned to look at Mingyu and his wife and tried her best to smile kindly. "Minah is such a nice baby girl, take good care of her and if you ever need me, give me a call, goodbye" She bowed, ready to leave.

"Take care, gorgeous!" Eunwoo smiled widely "You two take care, you look good together"

Mingyu stared at the girl, daring. He was waiting for her to make a mistake so he could actually lose his shit and start making a scene there.

So Minghao did it. She pushed her luck, too tired of giving a fuck to actually think what she was about to do. 

She grabbed Seungcheol by the cheeks with both hands, and locked their lips together in a kiss in front of her boyfriend, closing her eyes to focus on that action only.

Seungcheol gasped in surprise, but he only placed his hands on Minghao's hips after the first seconds, giving into the kiss. 

Seokmin took a deep breath and rolled his eyes, tired. There they went again.

His parents were fighting in the living room, a couple of feet far from him, who was in the kitchen, drinking some water before he went to bed, his cellphone in one hand, texting his friends about the big ass hangover he was going to get after he drank literally all the alcohol they will have available for the next day at Jihoon's birthday celebration.

 _Wasted_ _weekends_ were his favorite weekends because he was out of his shitty house, away from his shitty family, drinking and smoking some weed. Yeah, he was aware he maybe had an alcoholism problem at his young age, but he also had plenty of other issues that were more important than to notice that.

**DICK SQUAD**

**lee #2:**

tell Chan that if I lose my mind due to my parents screaming at each other I leave him all of my cds when they take me into a mental institution  

**1woo:**

is this how u pay everything I have done for u

ungrateful little shit

leaving other your cds

**SUNyoung** **:**

seokmin has a shitty taste in music, be grateful he is leaving all that crap to other

**1woo:**

oh yeah, I totally forgot about that

nevermind then

**wen u** **stop** **:**

are you having troubles with them again, Seokmin?

**lee #2:**

yeah u know them, they really like to scream at each other 

there he comes

i gotta go

talk to u all later, if I don't die this time lmao

**lee #1:**

is that bastard ever going to stop beating seokmin??

like

he really needs to stop before I shove a pair of shoes up to his ass

**real smooth cha-** **chan** **:**

he will like it

i bet he was abused as a kid and that's why he gets so turned on when he beats his family

fucking piece of shit

i will kill him with my bare hands

**1woo:**

u know Channie

when Hannie is not around you are my son so it's my responsibility to tell you this

iam proud of you

"I'm so sorry" Minghao said, looking intently at Seungcheol. They were at her house, in her room, on her bed. The slender girl sitting on Seungcheol's lap, he was still holding her by her hips while they kissed hungrily, eagerly. "I'm really sorry, Cheol, I'm so sorry I got you in the middle of this" She said again, kissing his lips, biting the lower and sucking on it.

Seungcheol got up and threw her over the mattress, placing himself between her spread legs. He kissed her neck and stopped before going lower, taking some distance to look at her. "I'm sorry too" He murmured, taking a deep breath "We got carried away, we are too immersed in shit"

"You're right" Minghao nodded softly, holding her breath. She knew it perfectly, they were doing that because they had too many things in their minds to handle.

Seungcheol threw himself at Minghao's side, looking at the roof "Jeonghan didn't took it out, she just told me" He said, not able to hold it back anymore "She kept it secret from me, she hid something so important, something that affect us both, she didn't tell me"

Minghao turned her head to look at her friend "And now you don't talk to him, right?" She bit her lower lip, she knew her friend too well, she knew Seungcheol was hurt.

"Jeonghan lied to me, Hao. It's our baby we are talking about, we are having a baby and she was so worried about taking it out only to later regret and hide it from me" Seungcheol ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know what to do, I never seem to know what's going inside her crazy head"

"First you should try stopping yourself from using the incorrect pronoun, you are his boyfriend, Seungcheol, and you love him, grow some balls to face the fact Jeonghan is a boy" Minghao sat down on the bed and gave him a look "For real, or I will start thinking you talk about me as a boy when I am not around and I will kick you in the dick"

"I'm sorry..." He sat down too and nodded softly "Tell me what happened, I am part of a drama I don't even know, if Mingyu is going to come after me at least I want to know why" 

"He told me he needed a favor, in exchange he was going to take me meet his parents, so I naturally said yes without knowing what was the favor he needed. Turned out the favor was for me to babysit his daughter while he and his wife went out to a family party... so yeah, I'm Xu Minghao: lover, babysitter, idiot"

"That fucking asshole" Seungcheol furrowed his eyebrows, he was so sick about that idiot.

"She is so nice, she is so polite and beautiful, and kind... she doesn't deserve to be cheated on. Their baby is so beautiful too, I don't want to break a family like that, for real, she doesn't deserve it"

"You don’'t deserve it either, it's not entirely your fault, you have to remember that"

"I said I was okay with him being married, I'm the bitch who knows what's going on and still fucks a married man"

"That married man is a piece of shit, he treats you like you are nothing, he hits you, he lies to you, he never does what he says he is going to do"

Minghao shrugged. "Fine, we both are pieces of shit, that's why we are together"

Seungcheol shook his head, there was no way on earth to make Minghao change her mind about that man.

Jihoon stepped on his cigarette's butt to turn it off. "I can't believe that was the last one, why didn't you all losers brought more?" 

"We are sorry, your highness" Seokmin said with a really serious face, only to end up laughing "You got it? Your  _highness,_ but you in reality are  _really short"_  he said, still laughing obnoxiously.

"I am this short so I can perfectly punch your dick effortlessly, remember that, you cunt" Jihoon rolled his eyes. Soonyoung snorted at his boyfriend's words.

"He is drunk, forgive him" Joshua said, patting Jihoon's back softly. 

"We are all drunk here, he's not special" Jihoon answered "Refill my glass, Hong, come on, I'm the special boy today"

"You are the special boy always, baby" Soonyoung said, pinching the Jihoon's cheeks with both hands.

"I'm not drunk enough to deal with this sappy shit" Jun looked at the inside of his glass, his drink was almost gone "I need more vodka in order to correctly process what's going on with this soft Jihoon"

"Suck my dick, Wen" Jihoon showed his middle finger to Junhui, who in response drank all the remaining content of his glass in one go.

"Remember that wasted weekend when Jun got so wasted he peed over my mother's flowers? God, that was the first time I saw his dick" Wonwoo laughed, drunk, spilling some of her drink over her bare tights now that she was wearing shorts.

"You liked it, right?" Jun turned his head to look at Wonwoo, who nodded softly and leaned to kiss his lips.

"But I also like Joshua's dick" Wonwoo laughed over Junhui's lips "Josh! Come here so I can look at your naked dick!" She yelled, giggling.

"Oh God, we are taking Joshua's dick out his underwear already? It's already that time of the party?" Jeonghan snorted, covering his mouth with one hand, he was only drinking cranberry juice, no alcohol for him.

"The most fun part of the night, the only part of the night that matters" Jun wiggled his eyebrows and kissed Wonwoo's lips again.

"I'm coming! My dick is ready!" Joshua yelled from the kitchen, where he was taking out of the fridge another cranberry juice bottle.

Seungkwan covered his mouth to avoid laughing. "Dicks" He laughed, still his hand covering his mouth, he always found odd things funny when he was drunk.

"I think I need to lay down" Hansol said, his shirt damp on the front due to him spilling the content of his last drink over himself after laughing too hard at one of Chan's joke.

"You are already laying down, you loser" Chan replied. He knew, they were both laying down to each other.

Hansol laughed. "You are so funny, Chan, bro"

Jeonghan took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. "I'm taking the youngers to sleep already, I don't want them to throw up" He said, getting up from his seat "I'm going to change Hansol's clothes, Wonwon, I'll put his messy ones in the washing machine" 

"Sure, honey" Wonwoo got up, stumbling a bit around "Whoops, okay, I'm fine" She laughed at herself "Take him to my room, he, Seungkwan and Chan fit in my bed, trust me" She winked, then laughed again.

"I'm not going to ask" Jeonghan smiled, walking to carefully grab Hansol by his shoulders "Let's go champ, time to sleep"

"Oh, you are so lame but beautiful" Hansol complained, whiny, like a little kid, but already following Jeonghan carefully.

"Thank you, Hansol. You are actually nice now that you are not around those losers you called friends... and out of all the things I thought I was never going to do one day, taking you to sleep after I change your clothes and put the dirty ones inside the dish washer on Wonwoo's house, takes the cake, I'm surprised, please never be an asshole again" Jeonghan kept his smile, entering Wonwoo's room slowly. He made the younger sit on the edge of the mattress and took his clothes off.

"I really liked you, okay? I'm sorry" Hansol whispered, shrugging later.

"I'll take that as a compliment, Hansol"

"But I love Seungkwan"

Jeonghan smiled again. "Then take care of him, shitty things happen around us all the time, it's nice to have someone who cares besides us, you know? Someone you can kiss and fuck to comfort when things are going downhill... which is always, basically. So take care of him, please"

"I will, Jeonghan, I won't be an asshole this time"

"I will kill you if you fuck up with him"

"Fair enough, I'll lay down, you suddenly have a twin and it's too much for me, I can't focus on both of you"

"Mom doesn't think you are a good influence" Joshua whispered over Wonwoo's lips, kissing them at the same time Jun kissed his shoulders, he was in between them.

"She's not wrong" Wonwoo smiled, opening Joshua's pants and sticking a hand inside them, grabbing his dick and rubbing it over the fabric of his underwear "But I'm the bad influence her son needs"

Jun kissed the back of Joshua's right ear and then he licked the edge of it, his hands traveling under Joshua's shirt. The three of them were inside the first floor's bathroom. "What about me? Am I the good influence?"

Joshua nodded softly, moaning in a low voice over Wonwoo's lips. "Mom says Jun is the only one that has a future out of you all, she thinks Jun still has a chance"

"A chance? Of fucking her son tonigh I hope" Jun laughed, his fingers pinching Joshua's nipples. The older squirmed and moaned at the touch, he was being over stimulated by his partners. How he loved to be in the middle.

"You want to bet?" Joshua asked, his eyes closed.

"He wants to bet" Wonwoo answered, sticking Joshua's dick out of his clothes in order to properly masturbate him.

"I want to bet" Junhui nodded, kissing Joshua's nape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So, I actually updated this and I didn't mean to only update it once last month but here I am, being shitty. My only new year's resolution is to update as fast as I used to, i hope work allows me to do so:-((  
> I love you all so much, thanks for reading.
> 
> remember to comment because i love reading you all and i will die if i don't read your thoughts about this :-(
> 
> also remember you can find me at:  
> twitter @pinkbambidesu  
> insta @paradoxx420


	26. too perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joshua wants it to be like this always, Wonwoo and Junhui agree. Minghao meets someone that makes her feel awkward. Jeonghan decides to adopt his friends as his kids and Seungcheol is not really happy about anything.

"Who the fuck is annoying me so early?" Wonwoo grunted, hungover was hell and she was grumpy, whoever was knocking so hard on the door didn't let her drink her coffee.

 

"Tell them to fuck off" Joshua raised his voice from the kitchen, where he was sitting, with Jeonghan on his legs.

 

 

Wonwoo opened the door, ready to fight the person who was disturbing their hungover breakfast, which mostly consisted of coffee and leftovers from the night before... since none of them was really skilled in the kitchen, and immediately closed her mouth. 

 

 

"Jeonghan, someone's looking for you" She informed, when she was back in the kitchen, taking her sit on Junhui's legs. 

 

 

Jeonghan tilted his head to one side, silently inspecting Wonwoo's expression, and he immediately knew who was looking for him.

Not that it was too difficult to know, Seungcheol was the only one who cared from him aside from all of the others sitting with him in that kitchen, sharing breakfast. He sighed deeply and got up, without saying anything, just walking to the door, gathering his long hair together in a loose and messy ponytail.

 

 

 

"Hey" Jeonghan closed the door behind him as he got out of the house.

 

"How was the night?" Seungcheol asked, looking intently at the younger. 

 

Jeonghan shrugged "We got really drunk and wasted, we made an orgy in the middle of the living room and danced to some satanic music while doing a ritual" 

 

"Sounds like you all, I hope you had fun"

 

"We had fun, yeah"

 

"You want to sit down? We kind of need to talk" 

 

"Sure, champ" 

 

 

They both sat at the sidewalk, near to each other, looking at the ground, without saying a single word.

 

 

"I went to pick up Minghao last night" Seungcheol started saying, looking intently at his shoes "That huge ass she has as a boyfriend made her take care of his daughter while he and his wife went to a family reunion"

 

"Sounds terrible, poor Minghao, she is too good for this world" Jeonghan hugged his legs and rested his chin on his knees. 

 

"Yeah" Seungcheol nodded softly and took a deep breath "I took her to her house and stayed with her... and we kissed. And we made out" He finally said, in a small voice he couldn't just keep it as a secret from the latter. 

 

Jeonghan kept quiet for a long time and finally he shrugged, without looking at the older. "I'm amazed that you didn't fuck, she is super pretty" He said, chewing on his lower lip. 

 

"I'm sorry about it, I know I am a huge ass too" The older took a deep breath and looked intently at his boyfriend, who was probably just spacing out, by the way he looked at nothing.

 

"Can't blame you, I know you like girls and all that stuff, so it's fine. Plus, as I said before, Minghao is super pretty, she is like the most beautiful girl I've seen with my own two eyes" The younger turned his head to look at Seungcheol and shrugged again. "It's fine, bro, don't worry"

 

 

 

 

They stayed in silence for a couple of moments, without looking at each other.

 

"You want me to take you home?" Seungcheol asked, still not looking at Jeonghan.

 

"Nah, I'm fine. I'm going to stay for a couple of hours more, need to think and all that shit" Jeonghan stood up, still not looking at his boyfriend "I'm going to drop the bomb today, I kinda need to think a lot on my word choice so my mom doesn't strangle me to death" he laughed, or at least he tried.

 

Seungcheol stood up immediately and took Jeonghan by his shoulders. "You can't tell your mom without me being there!" He furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm responsible for my acts, I'm going to be with you no matter what, I'm your boyfriend and I'm his father!"

 

Jeonghan looked intently at the older and shrugged "I guess".

 

"You  _guess_?" Seungcheol gripped harder his shoulders "You fucking _guess_? What's wrong with you, Jeonghan? Aren't we going to become all the difficulties together? If you want to break up with me do it now instead of being like this"

 

"I'm sorry, it must be my depression that makes me act like this" Jeonghan lifted his head to look at the latter "Or my anxiety eating me from the inside, or the morning dizziness, or the fact that you cheated on me with your best friend last night, I don't really know" He shrugged again and took two steps to the back so he could get off Seungcheol's hands "Let me go grab my stuff and we can go home to tell mom we are going to have a lovely family before I finish high school, give me ten minutes" 

 

Seungcheol stayed in silence after Jeonghan walked inside the house again, leaving him alone in there. He took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face, he was complaining about Mingyu and he was a huge dick too. 

"Shit, mom's calling" Chan put a finger over his lips to ask everyone to stay quiet while he tried to make up an excuse in order to stay more time sitting on Seokmin's lap while they shared a cup of coffee. Half coffee, half vodka, really.

 

Hansol kicked Seokmin's leg under the table, and the latter had to bit his lips in order to avoid screaming right into Chan's cellphone, same that was being held near his mouth. Seokmin looked at Hansol and kicked him back, unfortunately he couldn't help but to scream in pain. 

 

Seokmin kicked right in his shin.

 

 

"Yes, mom, of course someone just got stabbed right in front of me" Chan furrowed his eyebrows and kicked Hansol again. "You heard that? He got stabbed again" He said, after Hansol screamed again. "Yes, mom. No, mom. No, mom. Yes, mom, I'll be home soon, bye"

 

"I don't think I'll be able to walk ever again" Hansol whined, rubbing his shin with hands, Seungkwan was giggling right next to him, pleased with the cute face Hansol was making.

 

"You asked for it, bro" Soonyoung said, smiling so wide his eyes were forming crescent moons. He leaned his head into Jihoon's shoulder and then tilted it a little in order to place a small kiss on it.

 

 

"I love all of you so much, see you around, losers" Jeonghan waved at them, he just went off the stairs carrying his schoolbag and was now waving at them. "Seungcheol's outside waiting for me to go home and tell mom we are having a lovely family before finishing high school, you are all invited to the wedding"

 

"Can I be the one who throws flower petals?" Soonyoung asked, looking at the long-haired boy.

 

"Of course, and I will adopt you all so you can legally be my kids. Jihoon and Chan will sleep on one crib, Seungkwan and Hansol will be the twins, Wonwoo, Joshua and Junhui will be the edgy teenagers who make my life impossible because I'm a shitty mom who has a drinking problem and thinks anyone who's not heterosexual is the reincarnation of Satan. Soonyoung  and Seokmin will be my favorite ones and they will take care of their new sibling as soon I deliver, Seungcheol even has a lover now, so the family is complete. See you around, the trio is upstairs fucking so let them do their business, kids"

 

 

 

Jihoon took a deep breath. "Shit's about to get worse"

Minghao gathered her hair in a high messy bun and put on an oversized sweater along with shorts and her favorite pair of sneakers, her vans old school, the ones he bought with her first paycheck long ago and that were now obviously kind of old and not nice anymore, but she loved them anyhow.  She was ready to go to the supermarket to buy stuff so she could make food for her and her father, she wanted him to eat something nice when he came from work for his lunch instead of him eating sandwiches or any other thing that was not real food. 

 

She decided she was not going to be sad all day, she didn't deserve it. That's why she turned her phone off that morning. 

 

The chinese girl closed the door of her apartment and shoved her keys inside her purse, then she walked downstairs, until she reached the parking lot. 

 

 

"Hao!" Jackson called her, smiling. He was always so happy to see her, even if he got beaten up weeks ago by Mingyu.

 

"Hey! Jackson!" Minghao waved at him and walked towards his car, he seemed to be taking stuff out of it, judging by the boxes laying around it. "You bought new things?" She asked, curious, getting closed so she could kiss his cheek.

 

"Something like that" Jackson chuckled, looking intently at her, she was beautiful as always. "My cousin is moving in with me, she decided China was too small for her and she came here to study acting"

 

"Sounds interesting, will I be able to say I was her neighbor when she jumps to fame?" Minghao asked, playfully.

 

"We will see" A voice Minghao didn't recognize said behind her, so she immediately turned her head to look at whoever that voice belonged to.

 

Her heart skipped a beat.

 

That was the most beautiful girl she ever saw in her entire life. 

 

 

"I-I'm-"

 

"Minghao, right? Jackson won't shut up about how amazing and gorgeous you are" The girl chuckled "I was impatient about meeting you, he was not lying".

 

"Minghao, yes" The red-haired girl nodded, her heart still beating fast inside her chest, her cheeks probably red, judging by how hot they felt.

 

"Fei" The girl said, still smiling at Minghao, not even trying to cover up the way she looked at the girl from head to toes and back. "Fei Wang, a pleasure to meet you"

 

"Were you going somewhere, Hao?" Jackson asked, still carrying boxes out of his car.

 

"I was, uhm... Yeah, I was going to the supermarket, dad's coming home for his lunch and I want to cook something for him" Minghao explained, looking now at Jackson.

 

"If you give me ten minutes I can finish taking boxes out of the car and I can kick Fei's ass so she can actually start carrying her stuff upstairs, I'll drive you to the supermarket" Jackson said, putting a box over another one, on the floor. 

 

"I'm fine, you guys have things to do" Minghao smiled nervously, she kinda needed to be alone for a moment to think about how she felt in that exact moment.

 

"Sure?"

 

"Sure. Unpack, unbox... I'll see you around later"

 

"You can bet we will see each other around later" Fei smiled, crossing her arms at the height of her chest "Glad to meet you, Minghao"

 

Minghao smiled awkwardly because of how nervous she felt and then turned around, to continue walking out of the parking lot. 

Wonwoo opened her eyes and looked down. Joshua was on her left side and Junhui on her right side, both of them resting their heads on her chest, both of them hugging her, touching each other in the process. 

 

They were naked under the blankets that were covering their bodies and the room was in total silence, as always. At least, as always they finished having sex or making out, tired.

 

"I always want it to be like this" Joshua said, surprising the other two. "The three of us hugging each other" 

 

Wonwoo and Junhui exchanged looks and smiled, then Wonwoo leaned to kiss Joshua's head. "I want it to be like this too, having my two hot boys for me, I'm a lucky bitch"

 

 

Junhui snorted. "Well, you just made us your bitches, so I don't really know"

 

 

The three of them burst into laughter. 

"I'll better start getting dressed, mom's going to call anytime now asking why I'm not at home yet" Joshua tried to get up, but he was pulled again by his two lovers. "Let me go, help!" He laughed, hugging them again.

 

"Don’t you dare to leave us, Hong, we're going to feel like your sluts, just fucking and leaving, that's not polite" Junhui said, pressing soft kisses into Wonwoo's temple and cheek.

 

"Alright, alright... If mom calls I'll have to tell her I'm busy sucking some dicks at an orgy..." Joshua said, "again"

 

 

Wonwoo and Junhui snorted. 

Being there, hugging, kissing, laughing... Wonwoo felt warmness in her chest. It was perfect.

Too perfect. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for reading, babies! I swear I'm trying to update as soon as I can but work sucks my soul away and I hate everything and earthquakes are shaking my brain.
> 
> i love every single one of you to death, WITH MY WHOLE HEART.
> 
>  
> 
> u can follow me at insta @paradoxx420 and twitter @pinkbambidesu were i do nothing but like stuff and complain about life


	27. two steps forward, one step back

Jeonghan’s mother only cried after hearing the news, and Jeonghan himself couldn't explain quite well why was the reason of her tears. 

Was she disappointed? She saw it coming? Was she angry? Was she still feeling guilty about the past events and blamed herself for the result? He didn't know, but she didn't say a word, she only cried and nodded and talked with Seungcheol all night long after he went upstairs and got into bed, doing his best to keep himself together.

 

He contemplated his life, staring into the ceiling in complete silence. He couldn't say his life was now ruined, that happened long, long time ago and of course, he couldn't either say that his dreams were now not going to come true, because he didn't have any to begin with. That realization kind of made him feel empty, it hit him hard, but he could only stare at the void, feeling a knot starting to form in his stomach… he didn't know if he was disappointed of himself, of life, or of the others.

  
  


Someone knocked at the door but he didn't say anything, it opened anyways. 

  
  
  


“She said it's okay” Seungcheol said, walking slowly to the bed after he closed the door “I told her I want you to live with me and she offered to let me live here with you all, I would prefer us to live at my parents house after I talk with them” he sat on the bed and looked intently at his boyfriend.

 

“Mh-hm” Jeonghan murmured, not moving or looking back at him. 

 

“I bet my parents will want to have you at home, they love you so much” Seungcheol smiled at the latter, reaching his soft long hair to run his fingers through it slowly.

 

“They are going to be so happy to know I fucked up his son's future” Jeonghan forced a wide smile without looking at the older “Wait until they find out I'm a fucking weirdo who thinks that's a boy and was raped nonstop by a man, they are going to be delighted” 

 

“Jeonghan, why woul—”

 

“Should we tell them that you are fucking your best friend? I bet that will add up a twist” 

  
  


The room went silent for a couple of minutes. 

  
  


“I'm sorry about what happened with Minghao, Jeonghan, I'm truly sorry. I know it doesn't make up for what I did, it's already done, but I'm sorry. We kissed and we made out, there was nothing else” 

 

Jeonghan turned his head to look at his boyfriend. “I know there was nothing else, because you won't go further knowing she has a dick under her skirt” 

 

Seungcheol took a deep breath. “It's not that, Jeonghan. I didn't go further with her because I love you, and she loves that stupid boyfriend she has, it was a mistake we made, we are not interested on each other, that's ridiculous” 

 

“I'm still sad” 

 

“I'm so sorry”

 

“I'm sad knowing that there's no guarantee you are ever going to accept me, accept the fact that… I'm stuck. That you are  _ faking till you make it”   _ The long haired boy kept his gaze on the ceiling, his expression unreadable “I don't blame you, but I do get hurt sometimes… and I guess that's okay too, I'm no one to make you change your mind, or to make you act in a way or another. 

 

Sometimes I just wonder why. Would I ever be able to get used to the fact that I'm here? Breathing, living, trying to get by, ignoring my pretty much evident mental illnesses… Am I going to be a good parent? Should we be together?” 

 

“Are you breaking up with me, Jeonghan?” Seungcheol asked in a small voice, looking at the younger, who was still just staring blankly at the void. Tears were already forming in his eyes and not only because he, in fact, was very much regretting about what happened with Minghao, but because this was the first time Jeonghan was openly talking about the events that happened before without using any sort of sarcasm or evading it like it didn't affect him the way it did.

 

“Will you ever be able to call me your  _ boyfriend,  _ or your  _ husband,  _ in front of the others without feeling stupid or ashamed? It kind of hurts me, you know? When sometimes it seems like you actually understand and then we go back ten steps by saying things as if I wasn't aware that I have a vagina between my legs and I can't do anything about it. I know you try, I know you love me with your whole heart… but it's hard for you too, right? I don't blame you, Seungcheol” he shook his head softly, murmuring now “I get the feeling that I'm dragging you down, you know? You could do so much better, you could date pretty girls, you could keep going in life” 

 

“I love you, Jeonghan, with my whole heart. I am an idiot, but I swear with my life that I love you wholeheartedly” The older cried, warm tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

“I know” The younger turned his head to look at his boyfriend and nodded softly “I know, Seungcheol” he returned to his previous position, looking at the ceiling “Let's take a nap, we can deliver the news at your parents home after it” 

  
  


Seungcheol crawled to Jeonghan's side, burying his face on the latters chest, crying like a little kid, apprehensively hugging him. Jeonghan only looked at the ceiling for a couple of moments more and then closed his eyes, running his fingers through the older’s hair in an attempt to calm him a bit. 

  
  
  
  


#

  
  
  


**soonyoung has three nipples**

  
  
  


**hong hong hong**

Church is having an event tomorrow, so I won't be able to go to the mall, i need to go there and help

  
  
  


**wen u stop**

what kind of event???

 

are you going to dress up all nicely and sit for three hours to listen to a sermon??

  
  
  


**wonUWU**

my kink 

  
  


**lee #1**

sounds fun if you ask me

 

nothing like just sit there and listen how I'm going to hell

  
  


**hong hong hong**

unlike many people think, church events and gatherings aren't just sit there and listen to the priest

 

they are social events, so actually I'm going to be there with a bunch of other teenagers talking and gossiping about people of their schools

 

adults bring food and we help them with that

 

it's pretty much a reunion for horny teenagers who want to gossip and find boyfriends or girlfriends of the same community

  
  


**chan**

count me in

 

my parents want me to go visit my aunt with them and i honestly rather spend my time with some Jesus fans 

 

sorry about that josh

  
  


**hong hong hong**

what???

  
  


**lee #1**

yeah, count me in too

  
  


**lee #2**

seems like we are going to church then

 

never thought i'll be saying those words

  
  


**wonUWU**

prepare urself Jesus 

  
  
  


#

  
  
  


“It's not a third nipple” Soonyoung whined, his friend was only laughing at him. And he had been for the past thirty minutes.

 

“We know, but Jihoon told us how the mole you have on your chest resembles a nipple, there's no way you're going to win this” Junhui smiled at him, trying very hard to stop laughing at the  _ poor  _ Soonyoung. 

 

“He's lucky I love him so much” Soonyoung crossed his arms and pouted “I'd kick his ass if it was otherwise, he even dared to change the name of the group chat before proceeding to tell the story” 

  
  


Junhui laughed again. 

  
  


“It's not that funny” Soonyoung’s eyes became little, he was giving his friend  _ the look.  _

 

“Come on, Soonie, it's funny” Junhui nudged him softly and proceeded to walk around the store they were currently in. “What kind of flowers are you looking for?” He asked, curious.

 

“I always get her the prettiest flowers on display, but since it's her birthday I want to give her tulips, those are her favorite and I only give her tulips on her birthday” Soonyoung explained, walking around the store while they waited for the florist to come back, he went to the back to look for more wrapping paper.

 

“You are such a good son” Junhui smiled. A very small smile, intimate, proud. 

 

“I wish I could feel that way” Soonyoung smiled back, not really proud of himself. 

  
  
  


Soonyoung’s parents died when he was about to finish elementary school. It was a car accident during a very cold day; it was snowing and the road was slippery.

His dad died instantly, his mom was admitted to the hospital in a rather delicate state.

 

She barely survived the night, and died the next morning. That's how Soonyoung ended up living with his grandparents, he didn't have anyone else. 

 

Of course, he wasn't going to forget why wasn't he in that car the day of the accident. 

He fought with his mom, he threw a tantrum and cried and screamed at her for not wanting to go to that  _ stupid  _ trip they were taking to the hospital in the next city, where their parents took treatment for her mother to get pregnant again. 

 

He didn't want a sibling. So he stayed with his grandparents that day, and permanently later. 

  
  
  


“Would you want me to go with you?” Junhui asked, still looking at Soonyoung with the same smile. 

 

“If you don't mind me crying” Soonyoung chuckled, shrugging.

 

“Eww, no crying, dude” Jun rolled his eyes and shook his head, getting closer to his friend to hug him tight. “We love you” 

 

“I knows” the latter answered “Funny how I didn't want siblings back then and now I have you guys, fucking amazing” he rolled his eyes, trying to look annoyed, but he was more than grateful to have them. 

 

“Life's a bitch” 

 

“Mh-hm” 

  
  
  
  
  


# 

  
  
  
  


“Thanks for buying here, have a nice day!” The cashier gave Minghao her bags and smiled at her. 

 

“Have a nice day too, thank you” Minghao smiled back and started walking out of the store, carrying the bags along with both hands. 

  
  


She walked down the street slowly, not really paying attention to her surroundings, she was kind of busy still thinking about Fei. 

 

Good lord, she was thinking about a girl. 

  
  


Minghao walked into the apartment complex where she lived and into the parking lot, walking between cars, slowly, ready to go upstairs and start cooking… Perhaps she could invite Jackson and Fei to eat with her and her father. 

  
  


“Hao” 

  
  


The girl stopped her way to turn around and see where that voice called her from. Coming out of the car, a couple of feet away, was Mingyu, staring at her. 

 

Minghao kept walking, trying to ignore the older and started going up the stairs as fast as she could. Until she felt a hand grabbing her left forearm, making her stop in the middle of the stairs. 

  
  


“You're not answering my calls or my messages” Mingyu stated, not happy about it, looking intently at her “And now you're running away from me” 

 

“My phone's dead, it's not working anymore” Minghao said, not even looking at the latter.

 

“I'll buy you another one then, let's go” Mingyu pulled her softly, but Minghao didn't move. 

 

“I'm busy right now, I need to cook some food” 

 

“That's not necessary, I'll take you out to eat” 

 

“My dad's coming home from work so we can eat together, so I can't” 

 

“Well then, I'll wait for you here” 

 

“He's going to kill me if he sees you here” 

 

“You're still mad at me, right? I can't fucking believe it” Mingyu rolled his eyes, tired of that childish evasive behavior. 

 

“You took me to your perfect house, to meet your perfect wife so I could take care of your daughter because you two were going together to a family reunion” Minghao closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she then looked at Mingyu again, fighting her urge to cry “That's not okay, Mingyu, that's beyond the things I can deal with” 

 

“Well you asked your idiot friend to pick you up and kissed him right in my fucking face” Mingyu’s grip on Minghao's forearm became tight, burying his fingers on her skin “You think that’s fucking okay?” 

 

“She loves you, and she is a sweet woman. She doesn't deserve this, nor your daughter deserves any of this, and if you are not going to stop it, then it's me the one stopping this game. It's over Mingyu, I don't want to keep seeing you, don't call me or come here, don't even go to the restaurant. It's over, I've had enough of this" Minghao pulled her arm, and looked at the older for a couple of moments, both of them in complete silence. 

 

She turned around, ready to keep going upstairs, really sad that it was over. Really hurt that it ended that way, really disappointed of both Mingyu and herself for letting things be the way it were. 

  
  
  


Suddenly she was grabbed by the forearm again and was rushed into walking upstairs really quickly. It hurt, the way that hand was gripping her. 

 

She was pushed to the wall, her left cheek harshly being pressed against it, the body behind her crushing it against the wall. 

  
  


“Do you think you are able to say when it's over?” Mingyu murmured to her ear, chuckling. “Let me get this straight: you don't have any power or authority to say when it's over. It's over when I decide it's over, alright?” 

 

Minghao kept quiet, only trying not to cry, it fucking hurt. 

 

“Alright?” Mingyu pressed her even more hard against the wall, raising his voice. 

 

“Alright” Minghao nodded softly, agreeing in a small voice. 

 

“That's what I thought, love” Mingyu let her go and made her turn around “Go cook for your father and I'll pick you up at eight, dress up nicely” He smiled, leaning to kiss her lips softly. 

  
  


And with that, he left. 

 

Minghao collapsed into her knees, crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, hello there. 
> 
> sorry about not updating this one in a while, i kind of needed some time to put together what jeonghan wanted to tell seungcheol, it's only brief, maybe, but it's important: if someone tells you their pronouns are certain pronouns, don't go out there calling them by different pronouns. 
> 
> it hurts, ya know. 
> 
>  
> 
> also, expect the church meeting, dears! 
> 
> i'll leave my sns here if any of you want to talk about anything that's bothering you in life, just come and talk to me, I don't bite.   
> twitter: pinkbambidesu  
> insta: paradoxx420  
> tumblr: tolovexu
> 
> i think that's all, thanks for reading, please comment, i live for your comments, i have so much fun reading them and i enjoying having you tell me what you like, think, feel or expect:-)


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